We wrap up our SCARYTALES triple feature with Guillermo Del Toro’s war-torn journey through the horrors of fascism. The Pale Man sees you, but fantasy frees you, and it turns out that the real monsters are the fascist fuck-heads we met along the way as we travel back to Francoist Spain in 1944 to meet Captain Vidal and a fairy-filled forest in PAN’S LABYRINTH.
We wrap up our SCARYTALES triple feature with Guillermo Del Toro’s war-torn journey through the horrors of fascism. The Pale Man sees you, but fantasy frees you, and it turns out that the real monsters are the fascist fuck-heads we met along the way as we travel back to Francoist Spain in 1944 to meet Captain Vidal and a fairy-filled forest in PAN’S LABYRINTH.
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Today we wrap up our Scary Tales triple feature with Guillermo del Toro's war torn journey through the horrors of fascism. The pale Man sees you, but fantasy frees you, and it turns out that the real monsters are the fascist kids we met along the way. As we travel back to Francoist Spain in 1944 to meet Captain Vidal in a fairy filled forest in Annes Labyrinth, you're listening to how I Met Your Monster.
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A podcast that explores the introductions to your favorite movie monsters. My name is Zack. I'm Danny and I'm Casey. And together, we dive into the world of horror to find out how filmmakers have introduced us to our favorite monsters time and time again. This is how I met your.
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Oh.
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Welcome to how I Met Your Monster, the show where we discuss the introductions to your favorite movie monsters. Today, is the end of our Scary Tales triple feature. We're doing Pan's Labyrinth RV. Obviously I'm big. Everyone knows that. Every fantasy story ends with Pan's Labyrinth. That's right. Every mana story and every fantasy means every fantasy. Every fantasy.
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The new dinosaur in the new Jurassic Park movie Santa saw and saw with a child who thinks that she's going to live in a kingdom forever. But in reality, she's just dying. What? Oh my God. Or did she get it? Or did she die for his. No. Well, maybe there's something to be said for Guillermo del Toro.
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And the type in the way he sees the world, I think. Yeah, sure. But I think she was using that as, like, opening mechanism, but, 100%. But I think there's an argument to be made that although Tara can have you walk out with a literal, I think it can mean both. I think, yeah, I definitely think there's two ways you can read this movie, but we will get into it before we get started on this episode.
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If you can't tell, I am a bit under the weather today, so I'm going to try to get through this without dying. Do you have honey? And it helps your throat. Do you like tea? I don't like I'm drinking tea right now. I don't like honey, though. I don't really think that's the important part, but. Okay.
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Okay. You could listen to Mariah Carey's honey. That would work. I've heard that also has healing properties. Okay, guys.
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I saw Bone Temple last night or yesterday, the afternoon, and I stopped. I got some cough drops, so that I wouldn't cough during the movie. Yeah. I didn't realize they were medicated, and I was just, like, popping them one after the other. I like seven over where you sit or what? And I walked out of them.
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I walked out of the movie and like, our movie theaters in the mall. And so I'm, like, walking through the mall and I'm like, why do I like I just feel off. This is weird. I really, like dramas. Lately. I'm driving home and I'm like, I just feel weird. This is I don't feel like I'm like. Zach says he's driving home, but he's still in the parking lot starring you.
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And then I look at the look at the bag that's sitting on the seat of the car, and it said, take two and then wait two hours before you take more. And I they work seven of them as I take seven and wait five minutes until the next one. Did you like the movie? I did like it. Yeah.
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Overall. All right. I do want to take a moment to thank all of our listeners out there. Thank you. Either new listeners, old listeners, like age, or you've been listening for a long time. Not that you're like an old person.
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That does not want older people listening to this podcast to say, well, we think you're an older listener. Get out of here. Yeah, I only think the old like the the seasoned listeners, not the old listeners like you mean people who have food seasoning, covering them. That's right. You need to be seasoned. You need to season yourself. What the fuck are we talking about?
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We don't just like people. We like pack burritos. So it's best.
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Whether you listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, iHeart radio, anywhere, you listen to it on YouTube. Thank you for supporting our show. Thank you to all of our Patreon subscribers and members. We really appreciate you. We appreciate the support. And, look for some changes coming to our Patreon very soon. Wow. Good or bad? Good. I think they're they're good.
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They're good. I think they're good. Opportunities for for new listeners and new subscribers. You might even improvements. Improvements? Yeah. That's that's that's the better way to say it than Patreon. New and improved. Patreon.com slash. How I met your monster. Yes. See you there. It might be porn. Yeah. All right, so let's talk about Pan's Labyrinth. This movie was nominated for six Oscars and won three.
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I remember at the time I wasn't mad, but I remember, Children of Men lost. And I thought in terms of cinematography, that was just like. It blew my mind. But looking back, I'm like, it's a fair fight. I mean, this movie is beautiful on its own. Yeah. Yeah. Won for cinematography, art direction and makeup. And then it was nominated, but didn't win for screenplay score and best foreign language Film.
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What did win? Best foreign language film that year? I want to know that. Yeah. What was it, 2006. Was it the lives of others? Yeah. If you guys haven't seen check it out. Oh my God. Monsters. Holy turkeys. Oh, I guess it would have been so. It's 2006, so it would be the 2007 awards. So it was the lives of others.
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Okay. Anyways, like some others. Yeah, but we're not talking about that. We're talking about Pan's Labyrinth. We are. Which is so good. It's so good. I saw it when I didn't see it when it came out. I probably saw it maybe ten years ago and I liked it, but I was like, okay, like it was fine. But when I watched it two nights ago, I can like, confidently say, like, I fucking love this movie is so good.
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And I don't know, like, if it was like one because I didn't have a daughter back then and I'm a parent, so it's a little different. Yeah. To what's happening like in America right now is also kind of like this movie hits very close to home. Oh yeah. I made a clear note about that. How fucked up that is.
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Yeah. So, like, it could be those things that are or doing it or maybe because I've seen, like I've learned more about Guillermo del Toro over the last like, year or so of the show, like us doing his movies and stuff. Yeah. So maybe that had something to do with it. I don't know, but whatever the reason was, I absolutely, absolutely loved it this time around.
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It's so beautiful and devastating at the same time. It's just I don't know how he does it. It's because you've had I don't I would go so far as to say you were cold on general del Toro, but you've had, you know, you always say like there's always like something like a barrier. Would you say you had that with this one, or is this, like, the one that kind of,
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Well, you know, like a lot of his other ones, you know, I've mentioned this before where it's like, I love the idea of his movies. Like, I get so excited by how excited he is. Yeah, about filmmaking and like, yeah, all the the just the incredible artist that he is. But there's always like, something that I feel like doesn't connect for me.
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Sure. I was I always find myself, like, really engaged, like at the first bit of his films and then like towards the second half or whatever, I was, like by myself, like trailing off. Yeah. For whatever reason, I don't know, but but this one, I just it's it's so good. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. When did you first see it, Casey?
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I, I first saw it very shortly after it came out, and I haven't watched it since then. And same with you. I remember liking it because, you know, I love fantasy and stuff like that. But I don't think that I quite grasped or cared maybe about the story, you know, like, because I remembered the makeup, obviously. And I remember, like, the fantasy characters and the fantasy elements of it, but I didn't remember what the story was until watching it again this time.
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And yeah, I think that it's partially just age, too, because, you know, I don't have a daughter, but it was pretty, devastating, you know, because now I fully understand these things and, yeah, you know, unfortunate. But yes, I also loved it. Yeah. When I saw it, I saw it in theaters and I was a senior in high school, and I was such a little.
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I wanted so bad to just be like a film school, like survivor. You know, like, I know film. And so I would always, like, try to invite friends to see movies that, like, were playing at a smaller theater. And I thought it was so cool. And that was like my identity. And I took them all to see this movie.
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And when we got to the theater, my friends like, are you fucking kidding me? This is like subtitles. I want to do this or like, this is what you enjoy dragging me to this like shit. And we see it. And then a friend of mine comes up to me and he's like, all right. Like, yes, it this really good, but I'm glad.
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I'm glad you actually do pick really good movies. Yeah. And then you're like, yeah. So yeah, it was like such a moment for me. Like I was like, it's it's me, I did it. I it's my identity is official. Like I think so Cringing that's probably so annoying. Like Danny just go see you don't drag your friends to see a movie that they're clearly not interested in, right.
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But yeah, you walked away with your, your chest out a little bit. Yeah. You even know what the movie was that I did I understand. No, I was just proud. I was just I left with pride. No. I'm kidding. Yeah. You definitely. It's it's a it's a real bummer because there are, you know, you mentioned both of you kind of just how relevant the movie is, which seems insane in 2020 since this movie.
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How did that happen? Yeah, I know this movie came out exactly. Not not to the day, but 20 years ago. Yeah. Like like little like not little things. I just mean like specific things. Not just like the idea of fascism and power tripping, but even like the way that they treat women in the movie and how it's kind of just like that's just default.
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Like that's just what you do and all the way down to like, like they don't specifically talk about abortion or, you know, choice versus, you know, pro-life, pro-choice or anything, but they specifically call out the fact, like, if there's a risk, save the baby, kill the mother. Well, yeah, it's just sort of like, I don't know, just to have a child.
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Yeah. And yeah, he just wanted it so much. Yeah. Like the dialog that we're insanely dealing with. Yeah. In 2026, when Mercedes says she could get away with it because she was a woman, because he just didn't think she was capable of it. Yep. So. And it's just so sad and like it is, it does leave you with because Gabriel del Toro is good at sort of.
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It's not that his movies are cold, it's the, the, the topics that he's covering are very cold. And he sort of like, puts it through the lens of fantasy just to sort of like, help you swallow it. Have you guys seen The Devil's Backbone? Yeah. This is I have read very similar. Very similar. I mean, that takes place in Spain.
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Yeah. The last year or sort of or so 1939, I think last year. And yeah, it's still same. I mean, it's paranormal, not fantasy necessarily. Yeah. But it's very much like he had because I think, you know, he did. Oh he had already done blade two. I was thinking you went from Devil's Backbone to this, but he did mimic then Devil's backbone I think then blade two then.
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Yeah. I just watched blade two. Yeah. It was, It's a trip. It's not that bad. No, it's. I remember I haven't seen in a while, but, I remember it being fun. There's a cool, like, needle drop. Just like in the first one when he's about to fight all the bad guys at the end, is there?
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It's like, in the same spot in, like, time wise in the movie that follows the same format as the first one. That's like right before he's about to fight the bad guy at the end, like he has to fight a group of thugs. Yeah, there's a needle drop and everything, and it's it's funny, if you like. He did.
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I'm sorry, Danny, I just wanted to clarify on the filmography here. He did? Cronos, then mimic, then Devil's Backbone, then blade two, then Hellboy, then. Oh, boy, that's what it was at 2004. So I would have been like, yes, for. Okay, I forgot to. I'm sorry. Caramel. He was hellboy's baby. Yeah. If you. Yeah, if you haven't seen Devil's Backbone and this is to Zach, you and just the listeners, it's a really good, I mean, it's it's heavy.
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It's similar to. It's very Pan's Labyrinth in terms of, like, if you're going to compare it to, like, his other movies more Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy. Yeah. You know, like war torn country, sort of like the horrors of war, you know, the, the consequences of war. And oh, so like Pacific Rim. Yeah. Like, you know, like specifically the finale.
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But yeah, it's, and it's. Yeah. Like Casey said, it's it's more of a, it's a ghost story as opposed to a fantasy story. Like a fantasy fairy tale story. Yeah. Which could be, you know. Yeah, I know, I feel like ghosts are technically part of fairy tales, and. But. Yeah, love Pan's Labyrinth. Hate that these stories need to be told, but glad to hear when they need to be told.
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Yeah, yeah, I wasn't when when we were choosing these movies. I wasn't conscious of that. I guess I was just like, oh, if we're going to do fairy tale horror movies like, got to do Pan's Labyrinth. But I was thinking about fascism taking its grip on America. I do, I, I, you know, I like to just if you don't think about it, it's like it's not happening.
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And that's how I go, oh my gosh, if it's not happening directly to me, I'm fine. No, I kid, I kid, I know. Very glad we did it. All right, well, should we get into the meat and bones of this? Meat and bones? Bones? And what should we get? I believe the word you're looking for is potatoes, meat and potatoes.
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I've had too many of these fucking cough drops already. Dripping balls right now. Have a few more. It's kind of hilarious. Should we get into the fucking meat and potatoes of this? Yes, but don't eat them. Otherwise the pale man will come for you. Dude. Dude. Like, why would she eat a fucking great? I know, that's why. I have all the shit on that table.
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Like you're going to pick a fucking grape, I know. Yeah, well, you could eat a nice, like, turkey leg and then use the bone as a weapon at the very weapon. Yes. Like I have a great. Yeah. And she had, like, fucking not one, not two, but three fairies telling her like stop it. Yeah. She's like, they were like kids do dumb things.
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Yeah. And don't listen. And they do stupid things they don't understand. I went to this quite that, you know, but I did see like like I didn't pick up on it in the movie, but there's like a, a parallel between, like the banquet table with the Pale Man, where he's like, sitting at the end and the banquet table in the house with, the captain sitting at the, at the end and and then there.
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Anyways, food. I will get to that. Yeah, yeah. Let's go to Spain in 1944. We're on the good guys side though. We're in the woods with the Freedom Fighters. Yeah. Oh you know. Yeah I don't know, I don't know what. Don't you know I hate camping. Hate camping I hate it. Do you want to save the world and fight fascism.
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Nah I'm not the biggest fan of camping. They have the beds in the house there too. So, yeah, it's like they're like the simplest. The smallest little, like breadcrumb or morsel of of comfort in cases like, let's go. There. Like you get a lamp, I make red tea. I support the fascist regime. Let's do it. Oh my God, let's get into the labyrinth.
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You.
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Will.
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Okay, so for Pan's Labyrinth, we have seven official monster reveals. If you're new to the show, a monster reveal is any time that the monster is revealed to us as an audience or to a character in the movie. We've kind of seven of them in this movie. And in this movie, we also included, just like otherworldly creatures, not necessarily like monsters, like bad guys, but they're like, we'll just call them creatures.
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So I would say they're monsters by definition, but not monsters. Like, yeah. As in the antagonist of the film. Exact. Sort of like. Yeah, sort of like how Frankenstein's monster is just a dead guy. Speaking of game. Oh. Oh, yeah. And speaking of also that, but different. I watched The Curse of Frankenstein the other day, with from 1957, or when Peter Cushing and, Christopher Lee was.
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Yes. And I watched Lord of the rings yesterday with Christopher Lee fellowship with Chris. Wow. Now, if only Christopher Lee was in Pan's Labyrinth, this would all come together. I know, I see Danny's, I see the wheels turning. I know I'm like trying to say, like he's crushing. I'm sure the chairs had cushions. So he was there in spirit?
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Yeah. Under their butts. He's he's at my house in spirit too. Well, I know you're trying to figure that out. Why don't you go ahead and read the synopsis? I love pain when I do this. And so simultaneously, since this was your pick for our Scary Tales triple feature, in 1944 Spain, a girl is sent to live with her ruthless stepfather.
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During the night, she meets a fairy who takes her to an old sign. He tells her she's a princess, but must prove for royalty by surviving three gruesome tasks. Guys, you don't just have to beat for beat. Hell yes! We need a little. There's. We need a little more fluidity in these. IMDb set up a little subtlety in that.
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Yeah. And then she did this, and then she went here, and then he said that and then, okay, that's not a plot. That's. I don't think it's bad. Okay. She's a fan. I didn't say I was a fan. I just I'm not a writer. So it's fine to me. Let's see what, you know, sometimes we read, or we used to read the Amazon ones.
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Let's see what Amazon says here. We should start doing. We should check out letter box. Maybe letter box is the modern oh of this. Let's see what Amazon has to say. It says in a dark time for a young girl, Spain and the entire world, the hunting fantasies within her mind merge into reality, giving birth to a land of fantastical creatures and secret destinies.
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I love it. There you go. You like that? Yeah. I was going to read the letter box one, but it's like a book, so. Oh, I'm going have to save you from that and spare you the, Yeah. Oh, but I do like the tagline here. Innocence has a power. Evil cannot imagine. Oh, okay. I like that a bit, actually.
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Danny, you know a lot about. You're an innocent. You know all about that. I that's what they that's how I introduced myself to you, like, hey, I'm Danny Slime, I'm an innocent. I know this, but on your grander profile, yeah, I'm just an innocent boy.
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I'm like, yeah, like, oh, we done, the innocence we have. Oh, creepy movie like this. To actually really dark movie. However, frankly, Deborah Kerr, Deborah Kerr book jawbreaker. The burger starring the burger. Deborah Kerr, Deborah Cushing, Peter Cushing. There it is. No, that's not there. It is. I can just say that. Oh, Danny.
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Fantasy guys. Labyrinth. Pan's labyrinth. All right, so we we've made it. We've made it. We've made it to the captain's house in our little horse and buggy. Yes, I love it. We're in a horse and buggy, but everyone else is driving a car. But it's true. They got there, like, days before, so we're. We're just. Wait, what are you guys talk about?
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Horse and buggies. Where they not know where some buggy. No, they in a car. What are you talking about? We were in the horse buggy. We got. By the time we get here, it's after the events. That's why we're able to discuss that for you tonight, right? We're like, we found the dead bodies and, yeah, we're like, we're late.
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My bad, my bad. I didn't I didn't mean to order the Uber horse and buggy because that's on me too. All right, so our first reveal is Ofelia is our main character, and her mom, Carmen arrives, at this homestead, I guess. Yeah. And meet the captain. Pick up captain. The doll. Doll be doll Vidal Sassoon.
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Oh, yes. This is Celia. Is the name of my car. And Carmen is in San Diego. Yes, she is. Just wanted to tell. So relevant. I thought you were gonna say Carmen. Oh, it's the name of my father, Carmen. We didn't have a Carmen in our buggy because it was a horse.
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Yeah. Yeah. Let's get into it. Oh, fascism. That's a great segway. Are we just, like, having fun to avoid the really serious baby? Oh, not unlike the not unlike Ophelia. Like, kind of leaning into the fantasy to escape the horrors of fascism. Yes, yes. Yeah. You know, there is something to be said for escapism. And it's. I would argue escapism is not the same as avoidance, I think, or denial.
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You know, I don't think we're denying the existence of fascism, but we are there. It's healthy to have a sense of escapism, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Well the tour I think is like the, the, the main guy in terms of like in that department. Yeah, totally. To the stories he tells. And he loves his book. So Vidal Sassoon, was he a fascist?
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He does love it. He did. Yeah. He loves his bugs because on the way to to meeting him, Ophelia meets this little stick bug. And we'll we'll talk about him later because he's going to. He's not all that he cracked up to be. That's not what I mean. He's not, what he seems to be. That's better. And, listeners, if this is your first Guillermo del Toro movie, he definitely, you know, he's a friend of the the, quote unquote monsters, the non bug folk, the bug, you know, human sized cockroaches.
00;24;06;06 - 00;24;08;23
So.
00;24;08;25 - 00;24;52;29
That you're, you're going to say something else. No, but like, this is, it's a trend in, caramel builds horror movie where the, the non the maybe the more classically monstrous looking characters tend to be the most. I don't know, not evil, not just. It's the human. Yeah. And he even goes so far as to, to give them, like, a physical transformation to sort of give them like a grotesque, appearance, you know, like, I think of this obviously at the end, spoiler alert, when he gets his face mangled, and then in spoiler alert in Shape of Water, there's a character who.
00;24;53;02 - 00;25;11;00
I've never seen that either. Yeah, I haven't seen it either. But now, after watching this one, I was like, now I need to see shape. Oh, you gotta watch Shape of Water. Yeah. So don't don't, this thing happens, okay? Actually, there's no plot, so don't. No spoilers. Nothing happened. Nothing to spoil here. No good good good good.
00;25;11;01 - 00;25;29;23
We're moving on. I know you're making a point. Oh, I was just going to. Well, you know, we don't get a lot of context about the character, but we know he's effectively we know who he is. Like, we know from, like, from the, the opening, line here says the Civil War is over. Hidden in the mountains.
00;25;29;23 - 00;25;49;04
Armed men are still fighting the new fascist regime, right. And so when we see this guy for the first time, we know who he is. Yeah. You know, and even like, the, it's like when we get there, when we meet the captain, you're going to call him father. Yeah. And then she says to, she's like, it's just a word.
00;25;49;07 - 00;26;14;04
I feel like there's an interesting thing about legacy in this movie, and they kind of. The Captain Bell is really interesting because he has that whole thing with his watch where you, you know, they say that his dad, when he died in the battlefield, he broke his stopwatch so that his son would know when he died. So there's this whole, like, obsession with, like, being like his father, who was probably just another fucking fascist evildoer like him.
00;26;14;06 - 00;26;41;24
And and then you kind of, contrast that with Ophelia's real father, who we don't know who died, who. And correct me if I'm wrong, but like, do we find out how he died. Was he like a freedom fighter kind of guy. Yeah. Well, they said that he was making Carmen at the dinner table. Says that he would make the captain's outfit his uniform.
00;26;41;27 - 00;27;23;26
Okay. And then they said he died. So, like, I don't know if that, like some. Okay. So they clearly were sort of like Mercedes, like you kind of have to do what you have to do. Maybe he was undercover, maybe he wasn't. Right. But he clearly had he's clearly a good dude because he sort of symbolizes like the best part of legacy for someone like Ophelia, which is like, like good tradition, positive tradition, doing what you have to do to survive and being a good person while you're doing it because he's, like, obsessed with just, I don't know, like, there's no it's interesting because there is a weird, and I think
00;27;23;26 - 00;27;52;10
that's just a testament to the tour, being a good writer, there is a tenderness to him in terms of like the way he perceives family, like, you know, villains don't know they're villains. They think they're doing the right thing, no matter how wrong they are. And in his mind, he's following this tradition, you know, like generational trauma and violence and like what it means to be a man.
00;27;52;13 - 00;28;28;26
You know, he's just kind of doing what he was taught, which is very, you know, fascist. It's like the idea of like, goose stepping your way through life, essentially. So it's it's not that he's a tragic character by any means. He's just he's a straight up fucking monster. But it's but he, like, represents how sad it is, how easy it is for someone to follow in those footsteps because of something like just, generational shit and inheriting the this identity, whether it's good or bad.
00;28;28;26 - 00;28;48;25
Because as far as he knows, it's the right thing to do. But it's also. But, also you could argue like, that's like bullshit. It's just like a guise for, like, he's just a horrible person. It's it's an obsession because like. And I mean, like, are you just saying that, like, he is just he is the way he is because that's the way his dad treated him.
00;28;48;28 - 00;29;09;14
Is that what you're saying? Yeah, but I think that's just like representing how easy it is for people to fall in line with a regime like this. You know, it's just another form because he's not trying to like. Sorry. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, no, no, I'm just like, he's like, just obsessed with this legacy. Like, at the end, like, the only thing that matters.
00;29;09;16 - 00;29;32;03
And I'm jumping right to the end. Like, he literally leaves the fight so that he can go get his son, who he doesn't really care about. Yeah, it's just for the legacy. It's not. It's like to I have to make sure I pass down this, like, ideal to the next generation. And it's not like the fact that he walks away from it, and then that that's what they take away from him in the end.
00;29;32;03 - 00;29;52;03
Like he'll never know your name. Like, boom. Oh, it's so beautiful. Yeah. It's still not I don't know, people are weird about that kind of stuff. Like the Brewer name does with my brother. And like, I don't think my dad cares, but there are some families that, like, feel weird about that. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?
00;29;52;03 - 00;30;15;12
Yeah. But the good thing is, is like, your family wouldn't be, kind of perpetuating anything even remotely close to this, so. No, the good thing is, is, like, at least you're not like. Yeah, yeah. Like, if it doesn't continue or if it does, it wouldn't be kind of feeding into something like no or Stitution, which is. But I just mean, in general, people are weird about their names.
00;30;15;12 - 00;30;39;00
Yeah. Dying. But like, he doesn't care about his dad because. No, he just wants to. Yeah. Because, like, the dad was like, I broke my watch so that my son would know what time I died. And then the dude is fixing the watch. I think that's just like, maybe that's like something to do with his ego where he saw the value in what his dad did, but he gave a fuck that his dad did it.
00;30;39;00 - 00;31;09;29
He wants that you know, he wants to be remembered as like this important man. Yeah. But is the reason that he's so obsessed with time because of that. Yeah. Because there's not an ending. Yeah. Just he's always looking at his watch and always, you know. Oh, three minutes late. Oh, five minutes late. You know what I mean? Is that a visual for history repeating itself, like he's literally fixing the watch that was like existed in that time, that represented like the end of his father died and yet it still continued with him.
00;31;09;29 - 00;31;31;26
So he's like literally fixing the watch and then like, kind of it's that perpetuation of, evil kind of or, I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like there's like a literal like like the idea. Yeah. Like to your point, like there's the symbolism of a stopwatch being fixed to represent to the only then, like, his whole intention is like he's having that watch just in case I die.
00;31;31;26 - 00;31;52;22
I just want to make sure that, like, my memories remembered and I was like, dad, I can break it when I'm dead. I was such a hero. Yeah. Like, yeah, like I'm going to be part of history in which is all ego. Like he's really adding nothing like nothing. He's it's not like even if you want it to be like the best remembered as, like, the best fascist.
00;31;52;25 - 00;32;14;24
He's not any different than any of the other. What I mean, he doesn't, like, bring something new to the table. He's just the same. So it is. It's not about identity. It's just about ego. I'm the best fascist. That was the original title for the movie. It's the best fascist. Yeah. Oh my God. But it's also like, he's such a good.
00;32;14;24 - 00;32;46;29
I mean, that's just again, good writing. You have him as the villain and then you have someone like Ophelia, who we know represents innocence. And then they really hammer at home later with the whole, like, the blood of an innocent. And then. Yeah. Oh, God. It's so easy to jump around in this movie. It's like the last like line in the movie is you know these, these, these symbols are here in the world for people who are able to like look for it, you know, and like you could take that on a literal front of fantasy, but also just like there is, there's good in the world.
00;32;46;29 - 00;33;12;17
There's something worth fighting for. You don't have to just adhere to these regimes just because they exist. You can actually carve a path that you know is just inherently based out of goodness. Yeah, yeah. There's this line that I think really kind of feeds into what we were saying about legacy. And like generational stuff and just like that journey.
00;33;12;20 - 00;33;32;29
And when the mom says to Ophelia, when you're older, you'll realize it was hard for me too. So it kind of plays into how kind of how good the mom is, too, as a person, where she was able to protect Ophelia's innocence through all of this. Yeah. You know, by not showing how Trump traumatized she was. Yeah. Just broke my heart.
00;33;33;01 - 00;33;59;29
Reminds me of my mom. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you want it. Yeah. Not really. I mean it doesn't like affect me now but you know like I know that my mom I know that I was a kid so I didn't fully understand the scope of things when I was a child. But looking back like, man, I know my mom had a really fucking rough time, you know, like, oh yeah.
00;33;59;29 - 00;34;21;19
And she always pretended that everything was okay. But my mom made like $9 an hour raising two children as a single mother was a dad that, like, literally wasn't around. You know what I mean when I say single mom, I mean, like, that wasn't. Yeah, he was in fucking Florida mowing the lawn for that issue that I shared on all day, every day.
00;34;21;21 - 00;34;43;06
Yeah. All day, every day. So like, you know, in that case, his dad once he was in Florida mowing the lawn on a riding lawn mower without his shirt on. And so every time she mentions her dad, that's what I picture it. I guess he hasn't lived there in, like, 20 years or something like that. The smell of cut grass enters my mind and road.
00;34;43;09 - 00;35;16;13
The shirt is gone. But yeah, and my mom did, you know, like, I don't know, it's just, you know, we didn't we didn't have much. And you know, I know she probably did some things that she probably didn't want to do, but she had to because you know. Yeah. Gotta take care of those kids. And that's a testament to the, to the like the goodness that Carol del Toro sees in the world that like no matter what like I mean how many movies have we seen where it's like, you know like the classic Shawshank Redemption thing of like, you know, there's always hope.
00;35;16;18 - 00;35;41;12
You know, you have to you have to hold on to it. Lord of the rings, you know, like, after this, the darkness and then the sun will rise, yada, yada, yada, like it's always seems. So, they're not always. But it can seem sort of, what's the word I'm looking for? Where? Like, this isn't the word I was looking for, but it just seems like something that's so far out of reach that, like, why put energy into it?
00;35;41;14 - 00;36;03;19
And then you realize that people like your mom in this case, or Ophelia's mom, like they are putting energy into it in the way that they can. Like that's the power that they hold, is making sure that the next generation sees that it is possible. It is, you know, saying enough to falter completely. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Damn beautiful.
00;36;03;20 - 00;36;24;00
Damn beautiful. Beautiful, man. I'm just picturing fucking John Casey's dad's big belly is just getting, like, He's getting like, what do you call it? Jumpscares. Like, it's like. It's like just like in a movie where it's just like. Like it's like a shot of, like the grass being cut. It's the shot of him mowing.
00;36;24;05 - 00;36;48;00
It's like zooming by in the lawnmower. Yeah. Okay, let's jump to our second. Jesse. Oh, this is, this is Captain Vidal Sassoon. Thank God we're talking about him again. Where he meets the ray of light, the rabbit farmers. And, dude, they were just fucking hunting rabbits. I know, and I love that he blames it on his men.
00;36;48;02 - 00;37;06;08
You know he's like you gotta check their stuff better before you come get me. Because he couldn't be bothered to do it right. Yeah. Like. Yeah. So gross. And like I, I want to know how big that fucking bag was that he pulled out so much shit before he got to a fucking rabbit, you know?
00;37;06;11 - 00;37;25;18
Just pulls out a full moose. He's like, we're moose hunting. Like. Oh, yeah. Like, there was a full moose in here. I love it. Pulled back and it was a it wasn't a bag. It was a magician's hat. Like like or what if it was just a giant bag that was shaped as a moose? Like as literally a whole moose.
00;37;25;21 - 00;37;48;21
Like for each leg in the antlers. Yeah. That's it. Thank you guys. You guys really need to check their things before you come get me. How was I supposed to lose in there? But, yeah, this, this reveal really, like, solidifies how fucking brutal he is. Yeah. You know, he just has a brutal del Toro is because.
00;37;48;23 - 00;38;11;28
Oh, sure thing. I think that's so great about him as a filmmaker is he's not afraid of showing you and kind of lingering on something that is physically distressing. So like yeah like we get it like we all know we've all taken history classes and read books about, you know, how terrible it was during these times. And when I say these times I'm referring to 2026.
00;38;12;00 - 00;38;34;00
But to just, I don't know, like, God and like the, the having the father watch his son, killed in that way. And then to kill him and then the end of it all is that they actually were hunting rabbits. It's just like you feel you're like soul just kind of leaving your body a little bit.
00;38;34;00 - 00;38;59;19
Oh totally. I can see he like reminds you like. Yeah. It is really easy to lose faith under these conditions. But also like kind of reinforces how important it is to not to. So it's like you kind of shines a light on how literally like heroic the heroic characters are in this. Yeah. They're not just fighting the good fight.
00;38;59;19 - 00;39;15;18
They're it's scary times. They have everything. You know, their everything was against them. Stewie. Oh, and can we talk about how much of a little bitch the captain is, polishing his own boots?
00;39;15;21 - 00;39;47;21
Fucking boot polisher. You got all this dudes there? You're gonna polish your own boots. Don't touch my boots. I don't know my boot. I don't understand it, but that's okay. He posted his own boots. Yeah. So you have something for you? He's a bootlicker. Isn't that like a phrase for. Oh, bootlicker. Yeah. Is a boot licker. Well, it's funny, because this movie's all about like, disobedience and obeying and all that kind of stuff, like, that's like a big theme in this movie.
00;39;47;24 - 00;40;11;12
And a Bootlicker is like somebody who just, like, does what they're told blindly, you know, like Sam. So, like, Ice agents are boot lickers. Yeah, maybe that's why he's polishing it, because he wants to make sure, like, they're probably more likely to lick my boots if they're really clean. People who support Ice agents are boot lickers. I think that he probably is polishing his own boots because he's a perfectionist, and he doesn't want to make fun of them.
00;40;11;15 - 00;40;33;09
Yeah. Oh, it's like the image of him. Like who? How he wants to be remembered. Oh, that's true. And he doesn't trust other people to do a better than because I wonder at the end when he's stitching his own fucking mouth, like, we've already established that there is a medic there in the one two in the time because like, it just delivered the baby and he killed to like,
00;40;33;11 - 00;40;54;22
Then he killed the doctor. No, that's like that. After he kills the doctor, then the mom is having the baby. Oh that's right. And so he says, go get the. Yeah, the whatever the medic is for there. That's a great take away. He's polishing his own boots. He's stitching his own wounds like stitching on wound because he's a man and he doesn't need anybody's ego.
00;40;54;22 - 00;41;14;05
It's like, fuck you, he's a Rambo. This doesn't hurt. What if he was Rambo? I did, I know that we'll get there. But I did love after he stitches it up. And then he takes a drink of this. Yeah, like it just fills up. Feel the burn. Yeah, because that is in my head. I was like, if he takes a drink of this and he's fine, like, I'm going to be pissed.
00;41;14;08 - 00;41;39;11
You know, it's just it's such a small like the blood tells it. Yeah. To the. Oh yeah. Yeah. Horrible. All right. Our third reveal. The fairy, the little stick bug that Ophelia sees at the beginning is Danny. That turns into a fairy. And I guess it would be. You know, Danny, I feel like you haven't said this in a long time, but we would be remiss.
00;41;39;13 - 00;42;03;22
We would be remiss, we would be remiss. We say we would be remiss. Would be grimace. We would be grimace. Grimace will be from Arnold's promised he would be hummus. We would be hummus if we didn't mention the fact that at the beginning of this movie, it tells the story of this princess who was she wanted to go to the human world.
00;42;03;24 - 00;42;27;08
And when she did, she, like, died because she didn't belong there. And so now, like, she's being like the kingdom waited for so long for her to be reborn and to give her a chance to come back into her, her kingdom. And so that's what this whole story is. And we are under the assumption that Ophelia is this princess that has to go through these tests.
00;42;27;08 - 00;42;54;25
So, in our third reveal, that little bug that's been following her around turns into a fairy and leads her into this maze that she saw earlier, which, by the way, has a way that you, And my only know is the statue is giving. Ghost face didn't even notice that eerie ghost face vibes. No, it's supposed to be a thorn.
00;42;54;27 - 00;43;03;04
And it looks like, that looks like Billy Loomis for the mask on.
00;43;03;06 - 00;43;11;16
Didn't see. I didn't look like the fucking mask. It just looked like it looked like.
00;43;11;18 - 00;43;29;14
The day of ketchup on him. It's. I love I love that you reference scary movies. Like, it's screaming like some corn sirup thing. Same thing that uses pig's blood in Korean. Scary movie. He's like ketchup.
00;43;29;17 - 00;43;49;19
Bean, I put on my hot dogs. I don't talk with the boys. I don't get the boy. 26. Let's go. Bratwurst. Brat. But are you talking about. Are you talking about the statue that has the bug coming out of it? No. Like I think you, Danny, you're talking about when it went like an archway. Labyrinth? It's like an arch, okay?
00;43;49;19 - 00;44;13;23
It's like it's the, the fun. Yeah. Oh, yes, it does in the, no, there's like. Yeah. No, I was gonna say booger. That is a stretch. But this reveal actually leads us right into number four, where we go into the labyrinth and she meets foul. No foul, foul. No foul. No. Hello? I'm south now.
00;44;13;23 - 00;44;22;12
No, I'm a river dirty. I river date you, baby. I.
00;44;22;15 - 00;44;26;08
Lorelei. Me?
00;44;26;11 - 00;44;49;04
You're doing Inglourious Basterds. I'm thinking about if I get Pee-Wee Herman. No. That's, But yeah, this is, But she goes into the the labyrinth than meets the fun, which is played by Doug Jones. Mr.. Is first and only appearance in a game. A little tour movie. Just kidding. He's in all of them.
00;44;49;07 - 00;45;08;06
Yeah, for most of them. He said he'd been acting for, like, 20 years, at this point when this movie was made. And, but he said like, yeah. He said, like 95% of, like his jobs are people searching him out to be like, hey, we need we need a tall, skinny guy. I mean, that skinny guy.
00;45;08;09 - 00;45;34;06
Yeah. Yeah. And the the fun is if for anyone who's unfamiliar is it's the the the character Pan, which is in the title Pan's Labyrinth. Is from as a character from like, old mythology pizza. He's a god. Yeah. Peter Pan. Looking for a shadow. He's wearing a green tunic. Well, in his answer, he he says her name.
00;45;34;06 - 00;46;01;11
He says Ophelia's name is really Princess Moana. Oh, my God. And I know that, like, the story of Moana is like a, like an ancient story. And so I was like, oh, there's they're like, are they like, pulled from the same thing? They're not. They're different. That's like a Polynesian myth. The, the Disney one. I wonder if there is some threading or inspiration.
00;46;01;13 - 00;46;25;24
I was really trying to put the pieces together. Yeah, but it didn't connect. I was disappointed because I know that this is a Spanish, you know. So Spanish pan means bread in Spanish. I was hoping that the labyrinth was going to bread, but, you know, Casey, I love that you're, like, starting this new workout routine where you have to, like, change your diet.
00;46;25;24 - 00;46;44;25
So of course, your brain goes is like, oh, I hope it's made out of bread. So, yet in toasted bread. Wouldn't it be cool if it was garlic bread? The that scene at the end where it's like where the captain is chasing Ofelia through the labyrinth and like, the walls open up and she goes into the center and then it closes and he doesn't know where.
00;46;44;28 - 00;47;04;11
In Casey's version, it's like in the captain's chasing her, and he comes around the corner and Ophelia is just, like, trying to knock through the wall to try to get through. And he's like, what are you doing? I there you guys here's like, it looks it looks like when you're, like peeling apart cheesy bread. That's what I was thinking when he started that too.
00;47;04;13 - 00;47;36;13
Yeah I we all right. Let's just watch this. That's funny. But no, Pan is, He is a god. He's he's associated with nature in wilderness and fertility. You may have seen a lot of depictions of him, like, I think it was a midsummer Night's Dream. Even get a little bit of pan and, which we'll call it, C.S. Lewis classic novel.
00;47;36;17 - 00;48;18;09
Narnia, Chronicles of Narnia. Yeah, yeah. Lion, the witch and the wardrobe. James McAvoy. I'm. This is a pan like yet Mr. Tumnus pan like character. When it's funny, I know I'm not going to go as deep into this as I did in a previous episode, which was, I believe. Yeah, Terrifier three. But there is this is a story much like, other stories that we're going, I'm definitely gonna bring up and a little bit like Alice in Wonderland and, Wizard of Oz, which is about characters entering into a fairy realm much like the fey wild, much like Dungeons and Dragons.
00;48;18;11 - 00;48;43;14
And, oh, boy, I should have seen this coming. So this is why I picked the fairy tales. Oh, I it's a terrible spot. No, but when we were picking the movie, Zack, I think it was. You made a joke. You were like, God, it. Danny, you're like, you've been going on and on about Dungeons and Dragons that you pick, like, the most obscure, like nontraditional, like scary movie.
00;48;43;14 - 00;49;01;07
And I was like, Tuesday. So it's like, it's I've, I don't want now, I don't want to get off track but have you seen the Dungeons and Dragons movie Danny. Oh, yeah. Well which one? Oh, it's most recent with Chris Pine. Oh, I love it. That was, that was it is that was like. And then I didn't realize it was going to be so funny.
00;49;01;09 - 00;49;26;15
Yes. It's hilarious, which is a testament to, Dungeons and Dragons as a game where I was just talking about this with someone, where you have the dungeon Master who crafts the world in the story. Right? And then they spent so much time, weeks, maybe months, like developing locations and, like, characters that they're players can meet only for the players to, like, not focus on it.
00;49;26;15 - 00;49;50;02
And like, just like, stuck around the whole time. You're like, hey, don't you want to, like, go talk to that, mysterious man in the in the purple cloak? It's like, oh, I'm going to set this tankard right here. It's like, goddamn it! It's like. But that's gonna open up the door. Okay. But yeah, definitely. It's it's giving fey wild, which I really appreciate.
00;49;50;05 - 00;50;10;18
What is this is speaking of the fey wild is is this realm in. I'm not sure if it's specific to D&D or if D&D kind of took this, but it's essentially kind of like a plane of existence that is like a mirror world to ours. So you have our realm, you know, the normal realm for, you know, for all intents and purposes.
00;50;10;21 - 00;50;35;13
And then you have this mirror world, this other realm. There's there's a few others, or maybe there's two. There's one that's like the dark version of our world. And then there's one that's the literally, like brighter version, but stranger. So very Alice in Wonderland. The rules of logic, of language, of of space and time. Like it doesn't quite sit by our rules.
00;50;35;15 - 00;51;02;19
So to them everything's fine. Like if you watch Alice in Wonderland, like the Cheshire Cat talking in riddles and disappearing and kind of being an asshole is like par for the course. Like that's very normal. And Alice being this straight laced character, questioning these these things is very abnormal. So it's kind of what Ophelia is doing in this movie is very much that like, it may not make sense, but to them it's Ophelia who doesn't make sense.
00;51;02;19 - 00;51;28;10
So, Oh, okay. Okay. Much like fascism, but yeah, the fairies in this, I wonder if that's what the fairy actually looks like, or if that's what it just thinks that she wants it to look like. I think that's it. I think it's like how this is palatable to Ophelia. Because she. Because she loves fairy tale. Well, it's.
00;51;28;10 - 00;51;54;05
You don't think the fairies are real? I think it's just a bug. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We had mentioned this earlier. I my gut, whenever I'm watching this movie is two defaults to that, where it's like, this is all to help this young girl digest the realities of all the horrible, horrible shit that's happening. I subscribe to that idea.
00;51;54;05 - 00;52;21;19
I think it's a beautiful thing. But what I love about the movie is that it can also exist as a literal fantasy story. So I think whenever I walk out of this, I'm never like, oh, that was this or this. I think what's so fun about it is that it's I can read it as both, and that I am never quite like, oh, like I'm not, like, beholden to a takeaway, I guess.
00;52;21;22 - 00;52;43;05
Yeah. Yeah. I just really love tragic ending. So. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I like to go with, you know, because part of it is like you, you know, there's the like there's kind of like the dead giveaway where it's like the captain is following her through the labyrinth, and then he finds her and she we see her talking to the fun.
00;52;43;05 - 00;53;01;20
But when he sees or she's not talking to anybody, see, you're kind of like, okay, this is her just. Yeah, living these fantasies so that she can get through day to day life. But he also just drank a bunch of she also just drugged him. Well, well, if she's like, then you'd think he would be seeing the whole room, right?
00;53;01;22 - 00;53;18;03
Well, right. But he could be like, who she talking to, you know what I mean? Because he is like, he's disoriented and so I don't know. But yeah, like I had done an event called they did like a tree in front of her that kind of looks like it was kind of almost could be. Oh yeah. The fun.
00;53;18;05 - 00;53;42;12
Sure. Well, sure. I would argue that if it is a real fantasy world, that, you know, normal people can't just see them anyway, maybe it's her innocence. Maybe it's like. That's right. Yeah. I mean, if she is actually from she's actually from that world, then she can see the things, you know, that's true. Yeah, but other people are just normal.
00;53;42;15 - 00;54;00;21
Yes. Yeah, I think so. Like, I mean also these takeaways. So like you can he can you we're literally answering all of our own questions which is just like a yeah like oh damn it. Because there really is I mean like, you know, you watch it and you know, part of me, like part of me wants that tragic ending, like Kate Casey that you like.
00;54;00;21 - 00;54;27;22
Because it's just like, I don't know, there's something to it. But then also, it's like, yeah, this whole thing is real. And this was just her test to get back into the the kingdom and I don't know. Well, it works on both ways because it works for Ophelia to show and also the audience the show like there is this it's not just this world isn't the only world we have like this reality isn't the only reality that exists.
00;54;27;22 - 00;54;56;04
Like living in this like fascist regime is not the only out, you know, like that. There are options and you have to be able to be willing to see beyond that. But you mean like you're figuring it through here in the real world as well? Yeah. Yeah. And then also like even more literal is by her having this tragic ending, it's symbolizes because the hero and the villain die, and it's how they die that's important.
00;54;56;06 - 00;55;25;09
And like her dying for this, like holding true to her values and doing the right thing sends like, it's such like, it's like, in Star Wars. Or they say it's like the spark that lit the fire that started the rebellion or whatever. The resistance. She's a a hero, you know, a tragic hero. But like, yeah, they they don't they don't say it, I don't think.
00;55;25;09 - 00;55;47;24
But to me, it's like her brother is the only part of her mom that she has left as well. Yeah. Yeah, which is just tragic either way. Just to tie back to this reveal is even the fawn is. We don't know this yet. We kind of, like, put it together at the end. It's like he is kind of testing her allegiance to fascism with this whole thing.
00;55;47;24 - 00;56;08;06
Is like, because he is kind of doing what ever, you know, what the bad guys are doing. It's like, you have to do this thing. You can't question it. You have to follow the rules. There will be there will be dire consequences. Like she fucks up once and he's like, you're done. You lost. Well, right in the in the last one, he literally says, like, you're going to do this and you're not going to ask me any questions.
00;56;08;06 - 00;56;21;01
And he says, I need you to go get your brother. And she says, but why? And he said, I told you no questions. They okay even they see on the on the little statue, the fawn is holding a baby and he's like, why? You know why? She's like, why are you holding the babies? Like, no worry about it.
00;56;21;07 - 00;56;43;08
It's like, oh, like, maybe he's gonna eat or maybe they need them or kill them. Yummy. Well, you know, you know, we talk about this movie, it's all about disobedience and obedience and obeying. You know, I think, just like what you guys are talking about now, the doctor, the good doctor who's working both sides when he's.
00;56;43;08 - 00;57;02;01
When he knows that he's been caught or whatever, by by the captain. And he says, like, why did you disobey me? And he has this great line where he says to obey like that for the sake of obeying without questioning. Only people like you can do that. It's what he says to the captain. It was such a great.
00;57;02;01 - 00;57;29;13
I watch it like two, two. I like rewound it like three times because it's like so good. And that's like the thesis for the movie is. Right. Right. Yeah. And so it is you know going into like with the faun saying you're going to do this no matter what, like, don't question me. And we should clarify just in case, if you're listening to this and you haven't watched the movie, the things that the faun is telling Ophelia is she's got to complete three tasks before the moon is full.
00;57;29;16 - 00;57;51;01
And it's to basically prove that she is an immortal so that she can go through this portal. It's the last portal to to go into the other, this other world, to to be with her father. Yeah. I would totally recommend, though, that you do watch the movie before listening. Yeah. To like now you're right. I recommend you do.
00;57;51;01 - 00;58;11;22
And we we see what happened. I've never seen the movie memento, and I listened to a podcast about it today. Oh, really? That's it's of every movie that exists. I feel like that's the one movie where you can still go and be like, wow, that. Yeah, that was like, I'm not going to have a fucking clue, dude. Of all the movies, it's like so complex.
00;58;11;25 - 00;58;34;03
No, but whether it's like whether whether it's like, you know, her, it's doing this fantasy thing to escape the world or if she really is the princess. Like, either way, it's still a tragic ending. Because even if she is the fucking princess that gets to the kingdom, like she still inhabited this little girl. Yeah, that like, had loved ones and everything that like, it's just.
00;58;34;03 - 00;58;59;23
Yeah, she still went through that shitty life where her dad died and that a little girl still died. It's not like she's dreaming, right? Right. So, man. Yes. That settles. That sucks. What's up? Well, it's interesting because in this, a lot of the stories that I mean, we did return to Oz and, why am I blanking? What was the first one?
00;58;59;26 - 00;59;30;16
Company. Billboard company. Company rules. Less so, but like a lot of these stories are about characters who go down the rabbit hole and then come back like they've learned something. And in this case, it's not that. It's she's fully submerges into the otherworld. She makes the ultimate sacrifice. Yeah. And yeah, it's interesting because the story was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in return to us.
00;59;30;16 - 00;59;49;12
She did play the game, it's true to try and find the Scarecrow. And if she lost, she would have stayed there forever. Which is interesting because Return to Oz is a continuation of The Wizard of Oz, which is kind of showing that someone. I mean, it is, but it's a I mean, yes, but it doesn't have to do with the movie The Wizard of Oz.
00;59;49;19 - 01;00;08;04
Oh no, I just mean like the character, like the fact that she went she entered into this realm, came back. Oh, he was still willing to go back, which kind of like says a lot. So there is there is a there's a growth process. There's Alice in Wonderland who goes to the world and comes back. There's Dorothy who goes through, like comes back and then goes back.
01;00;08;06 - 01;00;39;02
And then there's Ophelia, who commits to the bit, but I thought it was interesting because there we were talking about these other similar characters to Ophelia and the dress that they give her was giving a lot of, it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland outfit. Yeah, for sure. And then later when she. Spoiler alert, when she ends up in in the in the faerie realm, for lack of a better name, she's wearing red shoes that reminded me of Dorothy's red slippers.
01;00;39;05 - 01;01;10;15
So I it's very like, I don't know, on the nose, but I like it right. All right. Our fifth. The reveal. Our fifth monster reveal. This is the the fucking tree frog. So she has to take these, these. What are the three little, like, disappointing magic stones? Yeah. Magic stones. Yeah. She has to go into this tree and convince the frog to this trick.
01;01;10;15 - 01;01;36;24
Them to get them in his mouth. You will die. But, yeah, he's gonna. He's gonna barf up this fucking golden key. But what's funny is that this was supposed to be a whole different scene. They consider the movies. Yeah, they constructed this big set that looked like, you know, like under a tree where they could, like, move around.
01;01;36;27 - 01;01;58;08
And the frog was. But they were supposed to have, like, a physical encounter. They were supposed to, like, fight. And then she was supposed to somehow convince him to put the stone in his mouth or whatever. The effects in this movie, the makeup effects were done by a company called DDT. And isn't that a risky move? Yeah.
01;01;58;10 - 01;02;20;24
They assured del Toro that the the suit wouldn't be too heavy, but they got there and the frog showed up on set and it was too heavy for the person to move in. Oh no, you can. When del Toro tells the story, that's this. I heard that he you know, he said this in an interview. When he tells the story, you can hear the frustration in his face.
01;02;20;27 - 01;02;43;07
He's like, I think he says, like he's like, when the goddamn frog arrived on the I can set back cuz it was too heavy. So they had to rethink the whole scene. He said that was like on a Friday. On Monday they decided to, they had also constructed like this this tube, which would she would crawl through, which was supposed to be here, like going through the roots.
01;02;43;07 - 01;03;04;00
Right. Which is which you do see in the movie and they're like, okay, we'll use that and we'll put the frog at the end and he just won't move. They'll just like be there and we'll figure it out. So that was the solution to that problem. But then the person in the practical frog suit, it was too small for them to move in that thing.
01;03;04;02 - 01;03;25;29
So they basically had to replace the frog, this practical frog, with a computer, generated frog. So I think some elements of the frog in the movie are practical. But then like obviously you can see that it can you see this the other pictures of this, it's a big time bummer. I don't know. Yeah, I saw I saw wasn't a video that I saw on, YouTube.
01;03;26;00 - 01;03;47;21
I'm making a documentary. I'll send it. Okay. I'm sure there's stills of it somewhere on. Okay. What a bummer. Somewhere. It still works. I think the scene, it's, you know, it's 2006, you can see the, you know, the visuals are a little dated, I guess. But it it's so simple. I actually like the simplicity of it.
01;03;47;23 - 01;04;13;04
I've just it's very poor, like me. Like, just crawling through the the tube, the tunnel, the tube. And she's still like. It's, like, I mean, she thinks, like, you know, it makes them think it's, little roly smart. Yeah, yeah. What I, I think we should point out is that these there's a lot of parallels, like direct parallels between what's happening in the real world and then what's happening within these challenges.
01;04;13;06 - 01;04;53;04
So, like the idea of this frog or toad or whatever, infesting this beautiful tree in basically just feeding off of it and like, as it dies and just ruining this, like, gorgeous piece of nature is like kind of a literal, connection to what this regime is doing in this land. And just like in the, you know, just in general, and then even goes so far as to when she does finally kill the frog, it, like, throws up this sac that immediately just it looks like a placenta kind of which is basically like it's, it looks like it's whole thing because then a deflates.
01;04;53;06 - 01;05;12;10
Yeah. But then like the mom is having the baby and she's having. So it's like it's if you are gonna look at this from purely a it's all in Ophelia's head is like, sure, maybe she doesn't know what a placenta is, but it's still just kind of it's she's she's taking real things that are being kept under her.
01;05;12;11 - 01;05;34;00
Like her. Yeah. Like her brain is just kind of it's conflating all of these things together. In the most horrific way. Yeah. So I really like that. Oh guy when she hung out, when she fucking as soon as she, as soon as you see her fucking shoes in the mud I was like no, no she's in trouble.
01;05;34;00 - 01;05;58;02
No, no. And then it just gets so much worse. Yeah I know, well then they set it up or like, she hangs out. I was like, okay, at least she took the dress off before she went in. And only for it starts to blow away. And I know that's the most stressful state of the movie. Yeah, yeah, I like that for the mom because you know how important that is to her of, like, she even said, she's like, I would have been so, like, grateful for this as a kid.
01;05;58;04 - 01;06;16;12
Like, you don't know how old you are. Oh, yeah. Well, she thinks, and then when she's in the, you know, she's in the tub and the mom's like, I'm so disappointed in you, like, blah, blah, blah. I know the captain's disappointed in you, too. And she's, like, more so than more so than I am. The captain's more disappointed.
01;06;16;12 - 01;06;38;14
And then Ophelia kind of has, like, a smile on her face, like, good. Yeah, but. But I'm willing to bet that the captain is glad that she didn't even show up to the dinner. Yeah. So, I fuckin. Can we just take a second to just. He sucks. He sucked. Well, it's probably, you know, it's rocks. That's probably the mom being like, she wants.
01;06;38;16 - 01;07;01;23
That's what she wants, right? Yeah. You know, she wants to think that the captain would be more disappointed because. Yes, she wants she doesn't understand that the captain has no interest in her or her daughter. Right. This is right. Gross. Damn. All right. The frog is dead.
01;07;01;26 - 01;07;25;16
That's classic lines and cinema history. The frog is dead. Rogue is dead. Our sixth reveal, the Pale Man. Now, aside from the fun, this is kind of like the image that people think of when they. Yes, iconic. When you talk about Pan's Labyrinth, this is so iconic that they did, they spoofed it, not spoofed it.
01;07;25;16 - 01;07;48;09
They just referenced it in Bob's Burgers. Oh yeah. Yeah. The you know you know you doing the thing with Bits and Bobs Burgers and Bob's like it's so upsetting. It's like I don't like that. It's. But yeah the phone tells her that she needs to like go into this room, don't eat anything. Get the fucking thing from the fucking thing with the key.
01;07;48;09 - 01;08;16;23
And, just don't eat anything and get out before this, before the hourglass closes. Which, again, to kind of draw that parallel is, they just showed that, Captain Vidal is basically saying, like, we're going to limit the supply of food that we're giving to people even more than we already are, because we're afraid that they're giving the food and all these resources to the, the the soldiers out in the woods who are fighting them.
01;08;16;26 - 01;08;39;06
Yeah. So then, you know, they're about to waste a huge, table full of, oh, when that priest is just, like, shoveling down food and then says something about, like, he's. You just see him justifying it. It's like, well, you know, their souls are already accepted into God's kingdom, so their bodies are just, you know, it. Do with them what you will just.
01;08;39;13 - 01;09;03;01
Yeah. As he's like just shoveling meat and potatoes into his mouth. Good stuff. It's like, so frustrating. But I love that del Toro does that and just like really reinforces it and doesn't shy away from it. Yeah. And the time thing could also be because it's always the watch in the time. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a good point.
01;09;03;01 - 01;09;28;18
I didn't even think of that. Yeah. Everything's like so random is the chalk outline is probably Beetlejuice. Oh yeah. He's, it's, he's got such a finger on the pulse of like where the world was at the time. And like a lot of people forget like when you read history books they always leave out Beetlejuice. He was kind of present throughout history.
01;09;28;20 - 01;09;36;14
It's actually I think in Beetlejuice people just don't tell him, you know. Yeah.
01;09;36;16 - 01;10;00;29
Yeah. When the pants that he's like, you have, you have a choice. You either have three tasks or you have to say this name three times. And she was like, yeah, the task, baby, give me the, saying that name. Yeah. And then she eats three grapes. Oh, yeah. So we see that the pale man like, you know, you see the the the paintings on the wall and he's like, he like eats babies even eater.
01;10;00;29 - 01;10;22;27
Yeah. And so you already know that he doesn't give a fuck. Like, you know, she's going to eat something and you know, she's going to be he does he does like no mercy. Right? So she eats the fucking grapes and he puts his eyeballs in which, why are they on his plate? It's a good question because I feel like none of this is acid.
01;10;22;28 - 01;10;47;23
You know, it's not just there for layer like, visual flair. I feel like there's a there's a point. So it's it's curious to think like, why does he why are his eyes in his hands? I feel like there's some kind of symbolism there that's going over my head a little bit. Well, if we think that he was representing like the captain at the end of the table, then I don't know.
01;10;47;23 - 01;11;09;07
Then think about you think about, like you're handing things either like control or he's controlling it. And he's seeing it in his eyes and hands and eyes are the windows of the soul. And he's eating his eyes before, you know, there's all in his stomach. All that food on the table in his eyes. You know, it's bigger than his stomach.
01;11;09;07 - 01;11;26;03
Yeah. Oh, thank God we got it. We did it, girl. How much we did justice to your character. We could have done a worse one. I think so, but there is there. I'm sure there's something to do with, like, he is blind and he only sees. Oh, there's like something there and it's it's just out of reach.
01;11;26;03 - 01;11;50;09
Well, he's blind, but he only sees once somebody does something. Well, once against him, she sees like she's not supposed to eat. Yeah. So. So when someone disobeys, then he can see. Well he's also like incredibly thin, which would mean he has all of this food, but he's he doesn't eat it. He just has it to show people that he can.
01;11;50;11 - 01;12;05;05
Oh, so you're saying his eyes are literally bigger than his stomach? I mean, I don't know, I was just saying you were talking and I was thinking about something else. And so I know that doesn't relate to it. That was what I was just thinking about. Sorry, but no.
01;12;05;07 - 01;12;30;17
He's not eating. That's a great parallel though, because nobody else is just. Or is he is a hoarder. And instead of eating the food he eats berries and babies like fascist baby babies. Right. So that's how you know they're fascist fascism is Latin for baby eater. Okay. I just it's the hand that's throwing me. It's like it's sort of like selective vision.
01;12;30;19 - 01;12;55;07
Like you said, he only sees when he's kind of, like, woken up because she did something wrong. It's like when you when they say if you masturbate too much, you're going to get you're going to go on your mom's. If you fascist too much, you're going to go by herself some you just jerk balls stick too much. Can I read you the the the Google your balls in your hands.
01;12;55;10 - 01;13;02;17
Yeah. You don't get air. Your balls go in here. Oh, you,
01;13;02;19 - 01;13;28;20
Well, testicles are the are the windows to the. Dude, you couldn't you couldn't fucking clap anymore. So you're always getting punched in the ball. Oh, yeah. You do this every time. You're. That's why fascists are so unhappy. Because they can't just, like, appreciate art. Because every time they do, it's like getting kicked in the nuts. Yeah. The pale man in Pan's Labyrinth symbolizes institutional evil, fascism and gluttony, representing oppressive forces like the church or fascist regimes that feed on the innocent and helpless.
01;13;28;20 - 01;13;54;29
Mirroring Captain Vidal's cruelty, inspired by Goya's Saturn Devouring His son. Do you guys know what that is, though? Saturn devouring his son. It's a famous. It's like a god. It's a famous piece of art. It is so fucking cool. He sits at the feast but doesn't touch a metaphor for authorities hoarding resources while the populace starves, punishing those tempted by a forbidden fruit.
01;13;55;01 - 01;14;02;08
Oh, yes, I've seen it. Yeah, like a car. Like a Saturn. Yes.
01;14;02;11 - 01;14;23;04
I didn't know they had babies. Man, I was thinking, I thought I was on to something, but with the fucking palms fucking like with the balls in the palms. You thought you were on the hook. No. The fucking like the, like crucifix. Like Jesus. Like. Oh it could be that too. Yeah. I mean he just did modeling there.
01;14;23;06 - 01;14;49;28
Yeah. I mean it's very on the nose, like Catholicism is directly referenced in this movie with the, with the concept of like, feasting and hoarding. And then we go, yeah, this this scene. Yeah. I don't think that's I think there's something 100% there. It's probably balls in the hand. You might be able to do more. That was just the first thing that he came up with.
01;14;49;28 - 01;15;15;23
I'm sure there's some, but okay, so she eats the grapes. She gets two fucking berries killed. I'm in the process. Always bums me out. Yeah. And, she's running away. No. Okay, so she goes to the timer, runs out right in the door, shuts and so why does she have to draw a fucking another on the ceiling or on the ceiling?
01;15;15;25 - 01;15;31;06
I don't know, I wonder, what do you mean? Because, like, she she goes to draw another door and she, like, drops, like the chalk breaks or something. Well so then she like has to do this balancing act to do that on the ceiling. Why can't she just I think maybe she had a second to think about it.
01;15;31;06 - 01;15;55;18
And it's easier for her. It would be harder for him to get out. You know what I mean. So yeah. Yeah. But also she has some credible upper body strength, I know. Yeah. To pull yourself up through there. Oh, yeah. Because he wouldn't be able to because he's got his eyes on his hands. He won't be able to, like, pull himself up because it would hurt his right.
01;15;55;20 - 01;16;18;19
She could also she could also put more of her weight to close it because she could just stand on it versus pushing it closer. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. Yeah. He heard of here, folks. We say like 20 years people have been trying to wonder how, why, why ceiling doors. Where do you stand on ceiling doors?
01;16;18;19 - 01;16;25;27
Let us know in the comments. Subscribe. Like button. Stand on the.
01;16;25;29 - 01;16;48;20
The, The fucking pale man. Let's see. Yeah. This is this is where we at this point in the movie. This is where, Oh, you know, I was going to say, this is where the doctor says, if you have to choose. He's telling the. The captain's telling the doctor, if you have to choose one of the other, save the baby and kill mom, or, like, let her die.
01;16;48;21 - 01;17;09;01
You know? And so, like, Ophelia is under the bed when she hears this, and then she, like, this fucking broke me when she, like, gets up above, you know, she gets out from under the bed and she, like, leans and she's talking to her brother in the womb and she's like, I just have to ask you this favor.
01;17;09;01 - 01;17;43;27
Like, don't hurt my mom. And like, if you come out, I'll make you a prince in my kingdom. And I was like, oh my God, the fucking waterworks that were coming out of my eyes. Oh, Zach, dude, but what we have not talked about yet is the mandrake root. Right. The fun tells her to put this mandrake root in a bowl of fresh milk and give it to two drops of blood every day and put it under the bed and it'll help them, get better.
01;17;43;29 - 01;18;07;00
So we got the strawberry yogurt again. Blood milk. Milk mixed with why is it keep showing up. What is it with horror movies lately? Yeah, horror movies are gross people out. Although this one wasn't that gross. The blood didn't directly. She didn't really see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So second two in this triple feature and it's like the 17th in our run.
01;18;07;03 - 01;18;30;19
Dude, that's so gross. I didn't mean to cut you off, but like when you said that, I was like, he's very. Yeah. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Well, no. So this actually ties into the point I'm going to make or the not a point, but a story I'm going to tell Kirby. The whole reason that, like, the milk in the blood thing disgusts me so much.
01;18;30;21 - 01;18;49;01
It all comes from the fucking movie dodgeball, right? This is the. I told you guys when this when we started this one, like, the first time we saw this in a movie, I said, there's a scene in dodgeball when they're trying to learn how to make, trying to figure out how to make money. And the one guy says, we can sell blood and semen.
01;18;49;03 - 01;19;10;17
Oh, yeah. And then someone says, like you or something other guy says, what? Not mixed together. No. Yeah. And like when he says that, my stomach churns and so, you know, then we had all these movies where we saw, like, the milk in the blood and all the white substance and blood, and it's just so gross, according to del Toro.
01;19;10;20 - 01;19;38;16
Okay. Like a chill early, like it's terrible. According to del Toro, the early origins of the myth of the Mandrake said that the mandrake was born out of the semen of the hanged men from the gallows, so they would get hung, they would ejaculate, and the semen would seep into the ground and create this mandrake root. Why are they ejaculating after they die?
01;19;38;19 - 01;19;56;29
Or maybe it's to like, you know, this is straight from the person. So maybe you think every man that was hanged is into, autoerotic asphyxiation? I know that, like, you know, when you die, like you're bowels and. Yeah, but like you said. Well, that's what I'm going to say. Like. Yeah, it's like, I don't know if that.
01;19;57;00 - 01;20;02;07
I don't think that happens. Now, you to work in your best in a.
01;20;02;10 - 01;20;08;00
Two of life's greatest good.
01;20;08;02 - 01;20;22;26
But God gives us those two reliefs to death. Final. The later when you die a good poop and a good no.
01;20;22;28 - 01;20;44;15
Humans are disgusting. We need to. We need to for a while to take over. We need. We need. The rules of our reality are so disgusting. God. So that's like. Yeah, that's a horrible, origin story for anyone. Yeah, yeah. Yo, man, where'd you or werewolf? Where did you come from? Like, you know, I got bit by a wolf.
01;20;44;15 - 01;20;57;27
You know, if I see him full moon, I transform his silver ball to kill him. How about you, Mandrake? You know this dude got. Hey, Nutted. Here I am, bro.
01;20;57;29 - 01;21;05;10
Throw me in a tub of milk and give me some blood, and I'll make you feel good.
01;21;05;13 - 01;21;37;23
Because, that's also on your grinder. Yeah. Tell me to tell him. Milk. Give me some blood. I'll make you feel good. So, you guys, it's, It's funny. Just awful. All right, this is not the end of the movie, but we do only have one more reveal. This is the, one of the captured freedom fighters, and he gets interrogated, you could say, by the captain.
01;21;37;25 - 01;22;02;16
And this is our seventh reveal. Just, this scene broke me. Yeah. Horrible, horrible scene. But in this one, this is where the pieces are starting to come together for the captain. And he. Because he finds the antibiotic and this and that, and he realizes it's the doctor that's been, which this is kind of jumping to conclusions.
01;22;02;16 - 01;22;18;09
Does he think that that man is the only doctor who keeps antibiotics in the pilot? I was seeing that, too. Like what? It feels like a modern movie. And he finds like a generic bottle of Motrin, and then he gets up to another generic bottle of jet, and he's like, oh my, it's conspiracy. It might just have been.
01;22;18;11 - 01;22;42;27
They actually looked slightly different to me. The bottle, one of them was slightly shorter. Yeah. So I was like, it's not even exactly the same. The point is like he is kind of just finding convenience, right. Just so he does think earlier now I'm forgetting he does something earlier. That kind of is a little maybe it's the rabbit scene where it's just sort of like, yeah, it's convenient for him to just be like, you guys are bad.
01;22;42;29 - 01;23;10;28
Yeah. So he doesn't have a problem getting out anyway. So. Yeah. Yeah, he's just looking for excuses to inflict pain. Yeah, right. But yeah. The know I was so mad, though, at the fucking dumb ass fucking freedom fighters for using the key, and not breaking the mold. And she's like, careful. He's expecting this. Yeah. Then they do it, for the freedom fighters.
01;23;10;28 - 01;23;34;17
The real monster, you know, just so frustrating. Frustrating. But, yeah, this is, he's uses his. But this is like, the first time that one of the freedom fighters actually meets Captain Vidal. There's, like, this sort of back and forth. We know that they're enemies, but this is the first time we have one of them, like, directly captured.
01;23;34;21 - 01;23;55;03
And of course, it's the one who's the most, we meet him earlier. He's a he stutters. So he's the most. I don't know, sympathetic, I guess, just based just like on face value. Based on what? Yeah. Who who who? We've met. Oh. Do we meet them earlier? Like when they're about to amputate that dude's leg briefly? Yeah, yeah.
01;23;55;05 - 01;24;13;14
Oh, man. When they're cutting off his leg, maybe he's not this guy, but the other guy, and he's like, he's about to do it. And then the guy's like, wait. Yeah. And it's almost like he's like saying goodbye. Yeah. It's like, this is my last moment with a leg. So, he's just like, okay, there we go.
01;24;13;16 - 01;24;36;12
That was. That was rough. Yeah. The doctor, you know, when he he he kind of puts this, this poor freedom fighter out of his misery, by giving. Oh, the guy when he says he's so ashamed of himself is that whole fate. He's literally. His hands are, like, split down the middle. His face is his eyes are swollen shut and all he's upset about is he said.
01;24;36;13 - 01;25;11;12
He says the fact that he talked. Yeah. And he's like, I didn't say much, but I did talk. And it's just like he's just such like a good person. And his values are so ridiculously higher than any of the these knuckleheads that we've met at Vidal's camp, knucklehead. And the fact that the doctor puts him out of his misery, I don't know, it's I hate it when I can't think of a movie specifically, but like when you know that, like, just being put out of your misery and killed is is the better alternative.
01;25;11;14 - 01;25;34;07
And it just puts everything into context of how sad that reality is that like, you don't even question it. You're like, yeah, killing like it's endless. Yeah. And then when you zoom about, it's just, how did we get here. Good God Danny why are we watching. Why do we watch this movie we're watching next week Pan's Labyrinth to the return of Captain Rydell.
01;25;34;09 - 01;26;05;25
Yeah I mean this is basically it is it just ends up being like a final fight to the finish Pan or something. Keep reading. Seeing Pan the faun gives Ophelia a second chance. And when Mercedes gets resists, Mercedes gets caught. Right. And, she gives Captain Vidal Sassoon a little makeover. Glasgow style hair today sliced today.
01;26;05;27 - 01;26;25;23
This is another one of those moments where I'm like frustrated at somebody in the movie, much like the Freedom Fighters for not using the, you know for using the key. Why did she not kill him I know well I don't want to say that, you know, it's okay that she didn't kill him, but she certainly killed a part of him.
01;26;25;23 - 01;26;47;08
She certainly killed a big part of his ego by not only locking him up and getting away, but, like, destroying his face. Yeah. Oh, totally. But, like, do I mean, like, she had the opportunity to literally kill him and she would have had a much better chance of getting away. Do you think it's something to do with, like, justice after her anyway?
01;26;47;11 - 01;27;08;18
Yeah, maybe it's something to do. It's like telling the audience that she's not as easily capable of taking someone's life. If it is to do that, you know, for the greater good. Yeah. Which is like a testament to, like like the idea of, like, innocence, like she can't do it. It's much as much as it'll help her. Yeah, yeah.
01;27;08;18 - 01;27;31;06
Because I thought the same thing. I was like, oh, this is one more a little. I love the way. By the way, how Jermell del Toro shows violence. It's the, I don't know, like you always think of, like a traditional movie. There's something about the way that like a character stabbed in like any other movie versus how they're stabbed in this particular scene or she's not going for like the obvious parts.
01;27;31;06 - 01;27;51;17
It's just sort of instinctual, like, oh, like it's more jabs, like in his arm, in his forearm and his in his chest. It's in his face. It's I don't know, it's all it feels so real. She should have gone to the neck, though, I know. Yeah. Maybe the blade ran out of ammo. Yeah, yeah. The blade ran out of him.
01;27;51;17 - 01;27;57;20
Which just like. Oh, I'm out. Yeah.
01;27;57;23 - 01;28;14;18
It took me a minute because I thought. Used to like, I was thinking like blade. Like the man like blade ran out of ammo. You hear it? She goes, you're like. Like when a gun, like. Well, it's like any bullshit.
01;28;14;20 - 01;28;22;11
It's like a it's like a switchblade. But she switches it and it's like it's a comb.
01;28;22;14 - 01;28;48;14
Oh, Fidel says soon would have an accent. Oh, Maya. That's funny. Okay, well, in. Yeah, like. Yeah. Like you said, this is pretty much we're getting to the end here. Ophelia is given another chance. She takes, Oh. Well, she sneaks into, the captain's office to get her brother, and she also drugs him. She puts the the medicine that the doctor gave them, to help her sleep.
01;28;48;14 - 01;29;17;12
She puts, like, a whole bunch in his drink. And now when he's chasing her, he's all loopy. Get to the thing. She doesn't give up the baby to the fun. But the captain comes, takes the baby, shoots Ophelia, and then, they kill the captain and boom, bang, bing bing bang, boom. Here we are. Yeah. That's it. But not before Ophelia either goes to her kingdom or she goes to heaven.
01;29;17;12 - 01;29;40;14
Whatever. Whichever one you or helps you to say it's the fun does say like you're. It's the seven circles of his garden or something like that. Oh, yeah. Boy, I guess, he's got this horns and. And her mom is there. Her dad is there. Yeah. And the mom. This is what confused me. Not a whole lot, but a little bit.
01;29;40;16 - 01;30;05;08
It looks like the mom's holding a baby. Yeah. Oh. So. Yeah, but the brother is still alive, so that makes me think that it is a real. The the fantasy fairy tale thing is real because the brother is still alive. He's not dead, right? But if you don't believe that it's heaven or hell, and it's just something she's made up entirely, she wants her brother to be with her in in this.
01;30;05;08 - 01;30;28;02
So, yeah, in this, if we're playing by the rules of like, the fey wild, it is like a mirror of our world, so. Oh, so that would just be. That is like the mom. Maybe they all did die. Damn it. No. Like, is this, like, her mother die? But this is now, like, the mirror version of her mother, who still is her, who is so alive.
01;30;28;04 - 01;30;52;19
Yeah, but, yeah, it's all like the everything. So I don't know why the rule wouldn't apply to Ophelia. Or maybe it does. Maybe it opens up like a consciousness to that. Like if you die in this physical realm, your consciousness opens up like you still existed in that other one. But but I guess. Oh, I guess Ophelia would, based on the the story that they told, she actually did leave physically.
01;30;52;27 - 01;31;24;25
The princess. So there's the differentiation factor for her is that she actually did leave. So even if these are the mirror Realm versions of her family, who still acknowledge her as family, she. Yeah. Okay. I think that makes sense. If we are playing by the rules of, like, the literal rules. All right, so that's the movie. Now let's go over and choose our favorite reveals in Pan's Labyrinth.
01;31;24;27 - 01;31;36;25
All right, speedrun recap. Here we go. Number one, Ophelia and Carmen arrive and meet the captain. Number two, the farmers meet the captain also.
01;31;36;28 - 01;31;54;27
I feel like this will be very tasteful, considering number two, the farmers. Me? I love this. Do it. Number two, the farmers meet the captain. Also known as. We are farmers. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.
01;31;55;00 - 01;32;12;16
That's pretty good. I thought you were going to do it because Bugs Bunny, I thought were gonna be like, that's all, folks. Oh, yeah, because they know I was going to do something about hunting rabbits. But yeah, yeah. All right. That's all I got. That's all I got. Number three, the stick bug turns into a fairy. Number four.
01;32;12;19 - 01;32;32;07
The fun in the labyrinth. Number five. The frog in the tree. Number six, the pale man. And number seven, the captured freedom fighter meets Captain Medal statue. All right, Danny, this was your pick for Scary Tales. So let's go ahead and start with you. What's your favorite reveal? I, I didn't struggle on this one number.
01;32;32;08 - 01;33;00;14
I was between two. But I am going to go with, even though he's not a bad monster, I'm going to go with when we meet the faun. Yeah, we set up the story. It's such an iconic performance. The visuals are so good. I think we we we we didn't gloss over. We just didn't linger on, like, just a little, like, physical mannerisms and features of the faun that are just so strange and kind of, like, discomforting, like going.
01;33;00;17 - 01;33;24;09
He keeps, like, shaking and. Yeah, but strange were way you were mentioning some things like Narnia where there's like a bond in that is one of the key differences in this one is that he's like part tree, you know, he's like, yeah, it's like very much a part of nature. We established two that like he is a monster.
01;33;24;09 - 01;33;45;20
Just as like the general definition of a monster. Not like the antagonist of the movie. But he does look like a bad guy. Like he doesn't look like someone you would something you would want to. You don't trust him? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, there's multiple moments in this movie where he gives you the sense of like, oh, shit.
01;33;45;22 - 01;34;11;26
Okay. Don't cross. I shouldn't have trusted you. You are right. You know that. He he could turn you. And that's the thing too, is characters from, like, creatures or beings from the fey wild is there is a lot of, trickery involved. Not everything is at face value. Okay. So the idea of him, like, can trying to convince her of something, which I guess to a point, like he does kind of it's more of a test.
01;34;11;26 - 01;34;36;23
But you could argue it's also kind of doubles as a trick where it's like he wants her to not obey him in the final task. Right. Which is yeah, yeah. But yeah, I love this. I love the performance. I love Doug Jones. I think Pan's Labyrinth is a masterpiece. And I think this character, this titular character, Turkey, Turkey does all the heavy lifting here.
01;34;36;25 - 01;35;04;03
Cassie, what do you got? I think the Pale man. Okay, because it is very iconic as well. It's such a small part of the movie. Yeah. But it is one of the parts that everybody knows. And, you know, we talked a little bit more about the, the meanings behind this scene and, you know, when I was younger and I watched it, I was just like, oh, how spooky.
01;35;04;06 - 01;35;21;07
Yeah. But, you know, now you understand the parallels and, Yeah. Right. Yeah. I think I'm with you on that for the, you know, for like, the same reasons. Yeah. I'm going to go with the Pale Man.
01;35;21;09 - 01;35;46;23
Yeah, I guess I don't have much else to add. It's pretty much the same thing. It's just like the the vibe of it and the just the iconic nature of the whole thing where it just now somehow that cemented itself as, like the visual right. I love like I say, I love the captain. Like, I love how I love much captain.
01;35;46;23 - 01;36;03;06
No, I mean, I what I'm saying is, like, I love how good of a bad guy he has. Oh, yeah. Like, he's just absolutely awful and you hate him so much. And that's what I love about it. You know what I mean. But I mean his reveals in this movie are kind of just I mean you already know right.
01;36;03;08 - 01;36;35;26
Like our first official reveal isn't really much of a reveal because you just know who he you just know he's a bad guy. Well, how about this? We don't give him the prize, but we kind of give him the participative, participatory prize. It's sort of like if, for example, like if someone were to win, like the Nobel Peace Prize and then, oh, handed it to someone as a gesture of good faith, and then they accepted it and then and it kind of acted as though they earned it or actually accepted it as sort of like that.
01;36;35;26 - 01;36;58;15
It's like, tell it that. Yeah. Let me see. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's that's a great that's a great way to put it. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I would be fucking so it would be a little crazy if it had happened. Yeah. So it'd be one of those things that if it happened and people didn't question it, you would start to wonder if everyone has been has just lost their fucking minds.
01;36;58;18 - 01;37;21;26
Yeah. Real because you it's it's unjustifiable and it's insane behavior. But thankfully, I hope we don't start the movie. I hope we don't ever get there. Yeah, you know we won't. All right, well, speaking of that, now it's time for our next segment that we like to call the real monster.
01;37;21;28 - 01;37;35;28
I'll say my real monster is not to beat a dead horse or a dead rabbit. It's, people who, accept participatory awards without earning it.
01;37;36;01 - 01;38;01;29
Oh, also fascists. Fascists are the real monsters. Yeah, totally. Yeah. It's 2026. We're having this conversation yet. Casey, what do you guys. You know, I don't know. I guess it's okay. Yeah. For eating grape juice. Yeah, that's a good one. Because you were told to. She was told not to eat, and there was just so many other things.
01;38;01;29 - 01;38;21;16
So be. And you chose just obey. That's the one that you know. I mean, if somebody tells you if you do this, something bad is going to happen. And that's different than just obeying. I mean, that's really not a hard thing to, you know, that that's literally her just obeying would literally just be her selfishness at that point is the fear and die as a result.
01;38;21;20 - 01;38;37;23
Yeah. It's just eating a just don't eat a cupcake or just don't eat the grapes. Yeah, yeah. It's not like, oh, don't look at these people or don't help these people as they're dying, you know, just don't eat the grape grapes at home. But she could have eaten something far better on that table that she was doing. I think that's the true.
01;38;37;25 - 01;38;59;08
Yeah. If you're going to do it. Yeah. Grapes. Oh, no. That's on that table. That is just is so gross to me. I like I know it's like a thing, but I've never it's like a ham with like slices of pineapple and oh, dude, I hate seeing like an interactive piece of pineapple. I just like it was like dipping it in the ham juice.
01;38;59;10 - 01;39;17;08
And. Celia, what the. What if she just took the two cheese free, but the cherry and the pineapple in her palms like they were her eyes, and she, like, faked them out, and she's like, look, I'm the same as you. It's like, wow. He's like, that's all he wanted in the end of his family. That's right. Why do you think he keeps eating babies?
01;39;17;08 - 01;39;45;13
He doesn't know what else to do. Yeah. That is what I do. Whenever I find myself lost in life. Like I hate you, baby. Baby. God damn it. Yeah. I've got two real monsters. I've got, fascism, obviously. And the second one is the mom. Carmen. Yeah. For two reasons. One for telling Ophelia that she's too old to fill her head with the nonsense of fairy tales and, like, get out of here, Carmen.
01;39;45;13 - 01;40;08;13
Here. Can't this, like, never like that spark of creativity, burnout. And number two, more importantly for making Ophelia call the captain father by saying it's just a word. Yeah, it's not just like, well, that's a whole other. That's a that's a whole other argument. You're trying to protect her, but about words, then their meaning, not them.
01;40;08;13 - 01;40;33;11
Right? Listen, Yeah. Like, I hate that argument of, like, things are just words. Yeah. Of course, you know what I mean? It's like everything. Yeah. That's all we. That's all we have is work, language and just communicate. We don't call at just a call. We call it. So it's it's an insane statement. Yeah. So anyways, that's why the mom is the real monster.
01;40;33;11 - 01;40;47;19
Although in reality, go back to San Diego. Yeah. Okay. Our last segment, would you survive?
01;40;47;21 - 01;41;10;14
I said, I hope not, no. Yeah. I want to go to the field with Ophelia and her family. So you want to get shot by Captain Sassoon specifically that death? Yes. Yeah, I know it'd be. It's hard to say, I guess. I mean, I guess we'll find out if we survive, since we're in the situation now, so.
01;41;10;16 - 01;41;31;14
Yeah, exactly. So you guys in the field, fingers crossed. Yeah. I can't say, to be honest, you know, because you want to be like, oh, yeah, I'd be one of the freedom fighters. And that's like, no, I will. The live is not that. Oh that's right. We've talked about this. That's right. Yes. Want that pineapple on the ham.
01;41;31;17 - 01;41;57;07
I don't even eat him but like hammy pineapple. But I used to love him so. And it's a pineapple. Really? Yeah. You never eaten a Hawaiian pizza. That's my. Oh, God. No pizza. Oh. So good. Never. I do not like pineapple. I was like, all right. Over Christmas, I wanted to make a beef Wellington, which is, like, considered like a luxury, you know?
01;41;57;10 - 01;42;16;05
And I'm like, here, I'm going to make it for them. And they said, no, no one wanted to eat it. But then when you find out that all of their, his and his brother's favorite pizzas are pineapple pizza with ham on it, I'm like, okay, I, I don't know how I can trust your judgment on food. Yeah. So I actually don't feel bad anymore for you, you know.
01;42;16;06 - 01;42;34;28
Yeah. I mean, a beef Wellington is a, you know, a bunch of mushrooms and a giant piece of beef. It's a big, fancy hotdog. It's a big fancy corndog. It doesn't. I don't know the boys. Do you like it? Big. Have you ever had a beef Ellington? Just like a big hot dog. It's literally a Santa corndog.
01;42;34;28 - 01;43;02;14
It's so good offense. It's so good. Yeah. Now, I'd like just to be clear, like I'm a hotdog guy. Yeah. Nuts like corn dogs are fine. I don't mind eating them, but, like, I'd rather I just have a hot dog than a corn dog is a giant piece of pastry covered with, like this mushroom mixture. And then you roll a giant piece of beef with it, and there's pancetta.
01;43;02;17 - 01;43;23;26
Oh, that's right, you use a layer of pancetta around it is a little mustard, but you really taste the mustard. It just kind of adds to the it is. I'm gonna send you some pictures or maybe I'll put it on socials. Listeners, you tell us, do you prefer you want to see Danny's Beef Wellington? You want to. Can I show you my beef Wellington?
01;43;23;29 - 01;43;32;09
Do you like a beef Wellington or a corndog, or are they the same? Vote below and smash that subscribe button. I.
01;43;32;11 - 01;43;58;20
Just, All right. Well, you guys, that's Pan's Labyrinth. That is our final entry in our, Scary Tales triple feature. So you know what that means. Oh, shit. What's the mean? It's time to announce our newest triple feature. Oh, that's right, I got. Are you guys ready? I'm. Yes. Are you guys ready for me to tell you what it is?
01;43;58;21 - 01;44;19;27
Yeah, well, this is it. Oh. Did we. Oh, I did, yeah, it's Lord of the rings. And so, Zach, you do the fellowship, I'll do the Two Towers. Danny takes return of the King. That way we stay in order. Okay? Okay. All right. Great. I got the, No, no, it is actually, this is one of our more.
01;44;19;27 - 01;44;35;28
We should preface this is our more like. We tend to, like, goof around on the show. This is one where we were like, let's be a little more serious with them. And say the name of the triple feature is, Is it dicks for Christ? Is that what.
01;44;36;00 - 01;45;00;23
I think was devil. It was either Dickson Devils or devil. The fact. Oh, it was dicks. Which would sounds better. Dickson devils and devils and dicks. I well, I think I my brain goes to devils and dicks because there is a Springsteen album called Devils and Dust. Oh, definitely, I love it. I think, I think that's where my brain said devils and dicks love it.
01;45;00;26 - 01;45;25;04
The name of the triple feature is Devils and Dicks, and it has to do with Satan, the devil and dicks, as in some sort of detective or police officer or something like mysteries associated with Satan, with some kind of not Satan or religion, not very like niche at all or anything. Yeah. Very broad. So yeah. So Casey, this is your pick for a triple feature.
01;45;25;07 - 01;45;50;01
You pick the triple feature idea. My pick for this is going to be The Exorcist three. Yes. Great point, a great point, great movie. Great great great great. Thanks. Thank you. And then, I'll be coming in hot with seven. Oh oh. Now we're gonna be coming in slow.
01;45;50;03 - 01;46;12;23
Danny, what could we like? We got two heavy hitters. Yeah, like super followings. Yeah, yeah. And favorites. What are we gonna round out? This was gonna feature. I was trying to find something that at first, like, really fit into it. And then I discovered this title, which I had heard of. And I never heard a movie that no one's ever seen before.
01;46;12;26 - 01;46;48;26
Well, I never knew it was like this. I didn't know it was about devils and dicks. And it is a little like religious drama, but it isn't. It's actually about like killings and the Satan and all that. It's called The Name of the Rose with Sean Connery. Yeah for sure. Dude. Hell yeah. Dude, I wanted I was like, I either go like, I meet you guys and like, totally like, we're doing like that, or do I just kind of like subvert and do I, do we do something a little different?
01;46;48;29 - 01;47;08;02
Yeah. You know, like, if it were, if it was like fall in, it wouldn't have been like my favorite triple feature ever. And I'd pick the next triple feature and it's movies called solids. Oh, great. I don't even great. Okay, here we are. Here we go. This is the, Danny's, Danny's pick the name of the rose.
01;47;08;02 - 01;47;45;05
This is the IMDb synopsis. Oh, no. And into an intellectually nonconformist friar. Okay. I'm hooked on internet. Nice TV. Does he have the Friar Tuck haircut? Yeah, I know, I never seen this poster. The poster is something. Oh, my God. An intellectually nonconformist friar investigates a series of mysterious deaths in an isolated abbey. So it's it's.
01;47;45;08 - 01;48;06;10
I made sure I did a lot of deep digging on this because I was like, is this does this really fit? And from what I was told, this is very much like, it's just like it's like an old fashioned for it's a medieval version of seven, basically. Right. So the friar is the dick. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. Yeah.
01;48;06;13 - 01;48;34;25
Oh, hey. Christian Slater is the second billed cast member. All right. And then, what's this fart is, what's his name? What's the story? Who plays? Oh, we do have, Ron Perlman's in it. Of. Yeah. El Toro lore, but who's the guy? Oh, that's Murray Abraham, who was in, 13 ghosts. Oh, yeah. The tagline for the movie is who in the name of God is getting away with murder?
01;48;34;27 - 01;48;55;24
Oh, boy. All right, let me see. I want to read this from Google. In the 14th century, William of Baskerville, a renowned Franciscan monk, and his apprentice and so of milk, travel to an abbey where a suspicious death has occurred. Using his deductive powers like a dick, like a deductive powers, William begins investigating what he believes to be murder.
01;48;55;24 - 01;49;20;02
During the course of the investigation, several more monks wind up dead, with Sierra running through the abbey. The church there just calls forth that and, okay, I, I don't know, I saw some visuals. The trailer is spooky. I'm either going, I know my real monster already without the hair. Yep. Vidal Sassoon would never, Christian Slater's bowl cut.
01;49;20;05 - 01;49;44;12
All right, well, that's. I feel like we're hype. Is, this is going to be the best episode of the year, and it will 100% win the monster ranking for 2026. Oh, yeah? Well, hey, what's his name? Made it to the finals this year. Oh. It's his name from Mars. Big, big Daddy Mars made it to the final.
01;49;44;18 - 01;50;16;19
He deserved five or something. I don't know, he deserved. So you never know. All right, well, well, that's going to be cool. Yeah. So we got The Exorcist three seven and Friar Tuck. James, friar tuck is a good name for a drag queen. It is? Yeah. Changes Friar Tuck. Yep. Or Friar Tucks. Friar tucks. All right, well, thank you for joining us on our Scary Tales triple feature.
01;50;16;26 - 01;50;43;29
Make sure to follow how I Met your Monster on social media Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Patreon. Where can our listeners find you too? On social media? I am on Instagram at Wolf Mother. Casey. Awesome. Danny. You can find me on Instagram Letter box and blue Sky at my name Danny Slim. That's Danny Salemi, that's two M's. Like the candy melt in your but not in your hands.
01;50;44;01 - 01;50;54;29
Wonderful, I love it. And you can find me on social media at Zach when sick make sure to join us for Devils and Dicks. And until then, thank you all for listening. Now go meets the monsters.