Wrapping up off our HALFWAY TO HALLOWEEN triple feature, we’re lighting the black flame candle on hallowed ground to meet the Sanderson Sisters in Kenny Ortega’s HOCUS POCUS, starring Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Omri Katz, Vinessa Shaw, Thora Birch, and Doug Jones.
Wrapping up off our HALFWAY TO HALLOWEEN triple feature, we’re lighting the black flame candle on hallowed ground to meet the Sanderson Sisters in Kenny Ortega’s HOCUS POCUS, starring Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Omri Katz, Vinessa Shaw, Thora Birch, and Doug Jones.
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Today we wrap up our Halfway to Halloween triple feature with Kenny Ortega's 1993 Race Against Time. Dark magic and the dulcet, if not disorienting tones of Bette Midler. The cauldrons are bubbling. The immortal black cats are talking, and children casually walk to their collective doom. Also, a few witches can win back 300 years of aging as we like the Black Flame Candle, wear our V cards with pride and find some safety and hallowed ground for meeting the savage but surprisingly self-conscious, soul sucking Sanderson Sisters of Salem in Hocus Pocus.
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You're listening to how I Met Your Monster. A podcast that explores the introductions to your favorite movie monsters. My name is Zak. I'm Danny and I'm Casey, and together we dive into the world of horror to find out how filmmakers have introduced us to our favorite monsters time and time again. This is how I Met Your Mother.
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Once you open it, we met him. 15 years ago, I was told there's nothing left for you. Explorers. The region as humans, just South Asians to others. Oh, here we go.
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Oh. Surprisingly mind numbing. Get.
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Welcome to how I Met Your Monster, the show where we discussed the introductions to your favorite movie monsters. Today we are wrapping up our Halfway to Halloween triple feature series with a 1993 classic directed by Kenny Ortega and written by Mick Garris. It's hocus pocus, you guys pocus, jokers wild. Come take a spin, What is that? Oh, I'm shaking like a locust.
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Shaggy the clown. Back like scoliosis. It's ICP. Oh, God. Casey goes back on the subject of the Juggalos. I'm not proud, Casey. Oh, I know what Juggalo. No, I wasn't. I know, like, three songs. My cousin used to listen to them, and he's like. He's like, you got to hear these. You gotta hear, like, ICP and what? So what are we talking about?
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Insane Clown Posse. Yeah, yeah. Don't act like you don't know Danny. No, but it's funny because I've seen pictures of them, but I've never heard their music. At least I don't think I've heard that music. Well, they have a song called Hocus Pocus. Listen to it after we're done. Oh, you better believe I'm gonna add that to a social media that's going to be on Instagram.
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We have a whole love letter to, Yeah, I see, it's funny because they do full face, black and white makeup like I did for Art the clown last week. Oh, yeah. See, I knew it. You got to work on you. Yeah, that's why I have the makeup. You have a little juggle? Yes. Just. I don't think I ever have, actually.
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Not that you know of, Not that I know of closet Juggalos, probably. You know, but today we're not talking about Juggalos and ICP. We're talking about Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus. Yeah. Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus, and the lady from Sister Act in Hocus, Kathy Najimy, you respect her? Yeah. The first all of this movie.
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You were second of all, she is in one of my childhood and one of my favorite childhood movies called In Search of Doctor Seuss. Okay. And I did booked it after I watched Hocus Pocus. oh. Nice. Five points for this. I don't think anybody has. I do apologize that I did not know her name. I have heard of it, Casey.
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And the only reason I've heard of it is because of you. Because me? Yeah. So it's about like, she's a reporter, and she, like, goes to the doctor sister's house to try and, like, learn things about him. And so it's like, then she ends up, like, going through some of the books. And so, like the book, it turns into, like, cartoon, like it shows the snitches cartoon and like the Lorax cartoon and stuff like that.
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And she talks to the Cat in the hat the whole time, and you learn about, like, Doctor Seuss background and his, like, political, cartoons and how he got his like, I wish it. Okay. Very cool guys. You can watch it on YouTube. Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay, since this is the last feature of our Halfway to Halloween triple feature, we had to dress up.
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I mean, of course, because it's Halloween. Casey Casey dressed up last episode for Terrifier as Art the clown. And so we knew we all had to dress up this episode. but no, today we are. We are the Sanderson sisters. Yes we are. I am Sarah Sanderson. Danny. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Sarah Sanderson.
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I'm the horny one. Zach. Zach. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. That is exactly what I wanted for me. I'm not gonna lie. Like I'm not going to toot my own horn here. You feel it? You're like, look at yourself. Yeah, I was. I don't mind it. I kind of like it. I was it picturing the snake beard when I was imagining you in the wig?
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So, like the stark, I was actually. I wanted him to wear thing. Oh, that's. Yeah. I feel like I just, like, dyed my hair or I'm like a like a surfer, and I just let's let's, like, be on something, you know what I mean? I'm, Winifred Sanderson. What would she be? She's the leader, but she's the cranky one.
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She's the. She's the leader. Yeah, she's pretty cranky. The pompous one. She's, Yeah. The. Okay, who are you? I'm Mary Sanderson. I'm the one that likes to smell children. Yeah. This movie is very. I slip and kiss and mark when it comes. I love it. I can tell how old they are. I mean, I guess that's a bonus.
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it's it's a good, if you're going to be, make sure that got a smell to make sure they're virgins. You if you're sniffing kids it's probably good to know how old they are. That's, I really do share that with her. I don't smell children, but I have a very good nose. Oh, like a dog. It's a blessing and a curse.
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You know? Yeah. I mean, I used to kind of, But the child used to. Oh. Ooh. I'm just. And I used to be really horny before I. Jenkins. So before you're 30.
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So there we go. We're, Oh, really? You know, the horniness, the horniness factor has toned way down, but as a family. So. Yeah. I feel like families make you less horny. Yeah. Yeah. Shit to do, you know. Yeah. can I come smell your children? No. It's like. No. It's over. No.
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No. It just hit me now that, like. Of course we're dressing up. It's our Halloween season. It's like just phase. Yeah. Casey, dress up last. Yeah. Of course, we did technically dress up as the characters in Flatliners. I don't dress up as anything. Yeah. Yeah, I like, oh, my God, I love, like I have, I have come to terms with the fact that I picked Flatliners.
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I absolutely love our Flatliners episode. I think it was really, really good. But like watching Terrifier and then watching this, I was like, oh fuck. Like, why didn't we have like one more movie that was like, Halloween, I still stand. That's like the whole theme I like, I mean, because we have like so many flavors, you know, you have like the adult that's like an adult Halloween movie.
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You know, it's like, we're not gonna we're going to the whole movies. Me, Halloween. We're adults. You get a, you get a ten minute scene that we're references like yesterday and that's it. Yeah. and then we get the gory horror with Terrifier, and then we have, like, a bonafide banger with Hocus Pocus. Yeah, literally. from Sarah's perspective, she was horny throughout that whole vibe.
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She was, horny for children. I yeah, that was the end. I know, and you know what I was thinking during the whole movie? I'm like, man, can you imagine if those if those are three warlocks killed in each. Well, what was the movie? Was it, like, a totally different story? No, not something wicked this way comes. What's the movie with the, the guy in the traveling carriage that picks up the kids?
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It is something like. It's like from the. Is it different? Like a 60s or 70? I just remember that scene vividly. Yeah, I remember really creepy grants, wishes and stuff. that's the male equivalent. this movie actually made me wish that it was Halloween. Oh, same. I totally I was like, yeah, this. Unless it feels like Halloween, so I sound I had some old Halloween candles, so I lit those, got the aromas going.
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Got the lighting. Sounds very spooky. And I was for for a moment under the impression that is it. October. it made me really. It made me start thinking about what I'm going to paint on my pumpkins this year. Oh, yeah. Is that a euphemism? No, Danny, I paint pumpkins every year.
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what are you going to paint on your pumpkins this year? That's funny. I might actually do pumpkin head. that's such a good idea. That would be cool. And maybe the original Dracula. That's great. Oh, nice. My face looks totally different. Without hair. And I don't like it. You don't like it? Oh, I think it's a great look for you.
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No, I'm glad the face. It's fucking. I'm glad you did, Mary, because. Oh, no, I don't see that at all. Are you kidding? Do you see me right now? You see how ridiculous I. Well, can't, but you know, you see how you guys do? You see how cool? I mean, you do exactly like, I don't know, I can't relate.
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Sorry. I don't get it. Yeah. no. I think you look really good with purple. Like, see you in purple. I don't know if I've ever seen you. If I had purple hair. Did you? Well, we've had the I did, I had no no no no no, this was years ago so I had, I had purple hair and blue hair and I would go like back and forth between the two I like.
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And then I really just got sick. I got sick of bleaching my roots and then having to dye them. So I basically just let them kind of grow out. And I was dying them black. And then eventually it all just like, well, you hear all these looks good, but purple is cool. Thanks. I know, I wish I could do it again, but it's too much of a process I've thought about, like bleaching my bangs and my money pieces, which are the front like, that's cute pieces I call them, but they're called.
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Oh, okay. And doing those purple, I might do it, I don't know, money shot catchers. Excuse me. Sorry. Yeah. These are these are my money shot catchers. You've got quite the money shot catchers in right now. Yeah. Very little. Yeah. I just go like this and it's like emotional thinking. Just they call this trustee to this.
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Actually a weight thing. Right. That I can look, I'm a unicorn. I think you are the.
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Mary's wig is made for pay you to be back. I'm going to stay back for a little time. I love it. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. I feel like Kevin Nealon. Okay, little Nicky butt this way it goes like this. I had a dream, so this is actually really funny. I had a dream that I was in Erie with Danny.
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Oh. Danny wanted to say. Danny wanted to do a photo shoot, which is funny, because Zach, you're from Erie, and we used to pictures. Danny. Not Danny's not. And I was trying to figure out which Walmart to meet him at, and I the only thing in my closet was silver like skirts and silver like glittery dresses and stuff, and so I interesting.
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I brought a bunch of them to change into for the photos. When I was a kid, I used to love dressing secretly. I would obviously no one would ever know, but my sister had this very sparkly, ballet like dress thing, like not a tutu. It whatever the saggy equivalent of a two. Two is, and I would say equivalent, I love it.
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Wait, Danny. Yeah? Are you gay? There have been rumors. I haven't been. There is. I haven't been turning any of them down. I am married to a man. Interesting. But you know who needs labels these days? Who doesn't even these days? what do you like?
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Oh, I see you see the appeal. Yeah. You guys, am I changing these? You can be in a safer space to to to make any sort of true transition. Zach is going to be like, so into wigs now. And I kind of love it. I kind of want to step it. That's also subversive. It's like a straight man.
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He's just like owning this like, you know, very kind of classically feminine. Like, I don't know, he's wearing wigs to be a pastime. I don't know. sure. Yeah. You don't actually wear wigs. You just like, for, like, for an hour. You just put them on, you brush, and then you're done. It's your hobby. Do you wear it?
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That's that's creep. That's that's like wearing a wig. Should be like, it would just be like a personality thing. But doing that is creepy. Oh my God. Okay. All right. Okay, good. This is great. All right, but we do have to remember that this is the majority is an audio medium. Yeah. It's true. And, Yeah, apologies you're missing out on what I would say is some video.
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Yeah, yeah, guys, and we need to refer to our social media. There is, there are photos or videos. and speaking of social media, we can always use the support. The more you like our posts and respond and react and have people follow our page, it boosts the, the algorithm within that is Instagram and meta.
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Yeah. And it gets us, you know, exposed to more people, which means maybe more followers, which means better guess, more episodes, all all that. So yeah. All right. So here's the question since this is called how I Met Your Monster, what route did you guys take in this movie? Are the Sanderson sisters the monsters? Oh, yeah. Or is the 20th century the monster to the Sanderson sisters?
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Oh, no. No, I mean, the Sanderson sisters are still trying to sniff children and steal their life force, so I think that they're still. Yeah. So I think there's still there's definitely. These are still the monsters. Yeah. Okay. Get in. My monster reveals. I put a few honorable mentions, for the Sanderson sisters, because. Interesting. They were scared by a lot of stuff in this movie, but just.
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But that wasn't. But. But the 20th century isn't inherently the monster. It's just technology and time that they missed out on. Oh, I understand, I understand, I feel like completely. Do we want to talk about your fear of the 21st century? Yeah. Okay, I get it. I'm probably my fear should be that I don't understand what century you call it.
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Yeah. Like is it the before is does that, does it go one before or one after. I don't know. Yeah. So now in the 2000s who were in the 21st, first century I know it's always okay. So the 1900s was the 20th. So you were right. Yeah. Good. Okay. Thanks. I think I've always struggled with that. I don't know why.
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Well then obviously it's very pointless. Like, I don't know, it's it's it's one of those things. It's like who who sign up. But you know why? Because the first century started at zero. Yeah. Right. Right. I don't like it. so. Okay, this was my first time watching Hocus Pocus all the way through here. I was shown it, probably five years ago, but fell asleep about halfway through.
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To be honest, and never really figured out how it ended. well, so I'm glad that I finally saw it, for the first time in its entirety. and you YouTube had been watching it for since you were kids, right? No, no. Okay. Casey, when did you first see it? it's been so long since I've seen it that I literally only remembered, like, the party with the the song that they sing.
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Okay. Okay. Because I think that's just a pretty iconic scene. Yeah. And then for some reason I remembered the part when they're going remember when you remember, remember when you remember. And those are the only two parts of the movie. Oh that's when she's trying to like remember the spell. Right. So those are the only two parts of the movie.
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okay. I did enjoy it. There was some stuff that I was a little bit, I do think the children thing is very strange, and I do like. Oh, totally. And I think. But I think it's supposed to be strange. I don't think we're supposed to be like. I don't think it, I don't think it's supposed to be as strange as I think it is.
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I didn't really think too much about her sniffing the kids, because that was just like a a classic, like which kind of. Sure. Yeah, but I did think that Sarah Sanderson and Horny for everybody was really. Yeah. And showing her tits, like singing to the children with fucking tits out. Yeah, yeah. Weird. That was out. Yeah, I agree, I think that's almost more questionable because.
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Yeah, with with Mary it's because they eat children too. So she's really just sniffing food. So it's like right. Well yeah. That's. Yeah. But I just think the fact in general that they were looking around for kids the whole time and remember it like I was thinking about if it were men like. Yeah. Yeah. What if Alex Garland made Hocus Pocus.
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Oh no. What if Alex Garland made a Hocus Pocus remake in 2025? I could see him doing that. So with the score from just like the weird like really kind of. Yeah. trippy. Disorienting. I love that movie. Yeah. yeah. Yeah. I, I Hocus Pocus was a very important movie to me growing up. You know, I, I'm sure we can all kind of speak to this, but I was a big fan of horror movies, but I was kind of limited.
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And when and where I could watch horror movies and what kind of watch? so movies like Hocus Pocus, The Monster Squad, Goonies, things like that. We're sort of like that gateway horror. that a lot of kids who are, you know, like, like us end up kind of becoming big, like, horror fans kind of gravitate toward.
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So I always had it always held like a, special place in my heart. Love. I always loved the Halloween kind of esthetic, and I think it just came out the perfect time. You know, it's like 1993. I think we were all kind of maybe a little younger than the characters in this movie, but, generally around that realm of, like, we'd be trick or treating around that time, or at least starting to.
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Yeah. So I think it's just special for that reason too. so that's why I always wonder if I am kind of biased by nostalgia. Yeah. So I'm curious to hear your voice, though. Yeah, it it it is a it is. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like watching it last night. I mean I watch it I mean I've watched it multiple times a year, but like specifically watching it last night, I was like kind of hyper focused and being hyper aware of these things.
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I was like, wait, this is well-made. This is a it's a tight movie. It moves. There is a story. It is. It does your story. The characters are well-written, the performances are fantastic. It's high energy, it's fun. It's somehow balance is like the it's it's okay for kids, but it's still kind of had its roots in enough. fun for gays.
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It's fine. It's very fun for the gays. Love, I guess. Book is, yeah. You put Bette Midler and Witch Dragon. It's a guaranteed hit. But, you know who I thought? Speaking of the performances, you know who I think is a really good actress who I don't see any more? That's a shot. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true for Burt.
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Yeah, absolutely. But I'm thinking Vanessa shot like she was back in the 90s, and then, she kind of disappeared. Well, I shouldn't say. I shouldn't say she disappeared. I haven't seen her in something in a while, but that could be same. The last thing I do with her, it. And I'm sure there must have been something else, but it was that movie, 40 days and 40 nights with Josh Hartnett.
00;21;54;02 - 00;22;14;20
Yeah. she's because I was, she was in two lovers with Joaquin Phoenix. She, and I think it was, it might have been Gwyneth Paltrow in that as well. she was in that and I think that's the last thing I saw her in. But anyways. Yeah. And then Thora Birch. Amazing. I thought Thora Birch, it was so weird because I forgot that she was like a child.
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Child in this. Like, when I think of Laura Birch, I think of, like, American Beauty Age, you know, like Ghost world. Late teens. Cassie, what? You look like Thora Birch right now. Wow. You do right now what? You used to be Mary Sanderson. No, I know, like Danny Sweet. Know how you were saying that you felt your face looked different when your hair was like.
00;22;35;12 - 00;22;55;09
Yeah, whatever. You look like Thor, I see that. That's that's how she's got around her face. Yeah, but she, I was surprised in this movie because she, like, she's eight, but she speaks like an adult. Yeah. Which I very much enjoy. Yes. You know, kids have talent, so. Yeah. No, she was great in this for sure.
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All right, well, are you guys ready to head to Salem, Massachusetts, by way of Los Angeles? Oh, I can do it. The Sanderson sisters wait. Los Angeles. What's that? Well, that's where I'm from. No, I was they say L.A. is. They go, oh, I like, oh, I like L.A.. oh. Oh, yeah. Man. Oh, I'm like that dude.
00;23;18;23 - 00;23;42;22
I'm kind of like, are your. I could play both characters. I could play Sarah Sanderson and Jay. I should tell listeners that, I, I shaved the word ice the back of my Winifred Sanderson wig, just to kind of cover all the bases. Don't tease. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See it? We're all playing two characters, and Casey is playing Mary, and, and, Danny.
00;23;42;24 - 00;24;06;27
But. Yeah, it's it's just really random. you would think actors would like kind of alternate between the main cast or taking on the characters. So we're doing our best. All right, let's go to Salem. All righty.
00;24;07;00 - 00;24;12;05
And.
00;24;12;07 - 00;24;19;12
You.
00;24;19;14 - 00;24;23;25
Will.
00;24;23;27 - 00;24;48;10
Okay, so, Danny. Yes? This is your pick for our triple feature. Halfway to Halloween. Could you please read the synopsis for Hocus Pocus? Yeah. The synopsis is a teenage boy named Max and his little sister moved to Salem, where he struggles to fit in before awakening a trio of diabolical witches. There were executed in the 17th century. Okay, yeah.
00;24;48;12 - 00;25;07;28
we should note that Max Dennison is a virgin. Yeah, a proud virgin. Yeah. Proud virgin. Yeah. which is probably appropriate, considering. What was that dude who was, like, who was dressed up as a cop and they thought he was a real cop, and he, like, pulls Max aside. He's like, are you a virgin? And then he's like, yeah.
00;25;07;28 - 00;25;29;26
And he's like, really like a fuck. So weird. Like, why are you surprised? I remember as a kid I didn't know what a virgin was. So I was like, what is this very important element to this movie that is going over my head? Like, why is everyone so concerned? Yeah. man. but okay, so we are meeting the Sanderson sisters.
00;25;29;27 - 00;26;02;10
Yes. And we start off with a very classic reveal. I would say, in the very opening credits, my first reveal is the silhouette of the witch flying over the water. You see, these are this is where I started with honorable mentions midterm. Yeah, because we're not quite meeting even the second thing. Like, I'm kind of jumping forward, but I have a follow up, like consecutive honorable mention of Sarah running past Thackeray's window when she goes, by the way, is it's still just like these glasses.
00;26;02;10 - 00;26;25;18
We haven't quite figured out who we're looking at. It's kind of implied, but we don't know. Yeah, my honorable mention moves into that to where he says they conjure. And you can see the yes smoke coming out of there. Oh yeah. Yeah I don't have. Yeah. My first special. Yeah I have my first I have I'm going to call him Thackeray until he becomes a cat and then he's Binx.
00;26;25;20 - 00;26;56;16
I've got Thackeray seeing the sisters in the window. Then every time you say Thackeray, I'm just going to picture you as Mike Tyson saying my name. Thackeray. So when Thackeray sees the sisters through the window, I counted that as, like, the first reveal. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So we got first reveal. Thackeray opens the window. He sees the witches huddled over Emily, his sister, and then we get these, you know, very, like, distinct character, intros for the audience.
00;26;56;16 - 00;27;20;14
Yeah. To meet each sister. Okay, well, I just have the Sanderson sisters for each one we're not doing. I didn't do anything. Yeah, and I'm totally, I totally agree with you guys that the very first reveal is when Thackeray opens the window and when you see them in their. In their house with Emily. Yeah. And the other the other two are honorable mentions at the beginning.
00;27;20;14 - 00;27;42;07
Yeah. and speaking of this first reveal, with them surrounding Emily about to steal her life force, she does not seem that upset to be there. No, I think she's under, is she not? She's just like, she's like having a good time. She just hates her life. She's ready to go. She's like, she's over Salem sucked the 1600.
00;27;42;07 - 00;28;04;11
Yeah. I mean, who wants. Yeah. Who wants to be a fucking pioneer? Wants and wash their clothes in a tub and shit outside in the river, you know? Yeah, it's. It's like, just take me. Yes. Fine. But no, I think it's implied that the song has kind of got to a trance state. Okay, cool. Like the, like they do.
00;28;04;11 - 00;28;32;22
Like they're in the movie bringing all the kids to the. Okay, I gotcha. That makes sense. But Thackery like. Yeah, every time. Man. Goddamn it. Like Mike Tyson pops in my head. but he like, he, you know, kudos to him. He steps up, but wait, we're skipping sparks. Honorable mention guys. Winifred. Spell book. yeah. You know, I went back and forth about counting the spell book.
00;28;32;23 - 00;28;55;03
It is kind of like an it's alive. It is a supernatural being, so to speak. yeah, I think it's nothing else. An honorable mention. Sure. Okay. I agree, let's mark that down as an honorable mention for, like, dishonorable. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Does have an eyeball. Does. And it is found in human skin.
00;28;55;03 - 00;29;21;06
And it was Necronomicon. The devil is right. this picture of what's the devil doing down in hell? Just like crafting a book. We'll talk about the devil later. Don't worry about it. I love I've got a lot to say. I have a lot to say about that part. Kerry Marshall. Oh my God. All right. okay. Oh, that's Gary Marshall, because Penny Marshall is in it.
00;29;21;09 - 00;29;47;22
And I didn't put the fact I didn't put it together. I recognize her, but I didn't recognize Salem, Massachusetts. Yeah. but, yeah. So we meet the spellbook, and then Thackery steps up. Yeah. Got a fight for a sister, but it kind of bites him in the ass. It does, because he gets trapped into a cat.
00;29;47;25 - 00;30;17;23
And his sister dies anyway, so, you know, it'd have been really creepy. Oh my God. What if they, like, stole her life force. They like, stole Emily's life force. Right. And then sidebar here. Do you remember Poltergeist three? Yeah. That movie absolutely terrified me as a kid. It still terrifies me to this day. But when Carolann is looking in the mirror and then her reflection changes to like, an old person.
00;30;17;25 - 00;30;44;20
Oh my God, what if, like, Emily looked like that's how it is after they took her life force. That was cool. She's sitting when she's sitting in the chair all hunched over and stuff. Her hair is gray, right? Yeah, right. Like, yeah. I wonder if there was a rating thing where we can't go too far. Because initially Mick Garris talked about this on his podcast, which they hanged people in this movie, I don't think, because that's like, Holy shit, dude.
00;30;44;20 - 00;31;00;10
Yeah, I can't believe that they showed their feet dangling like, yeah, yeah, no, they do cross the line quite a bit. Which which always surprised me. but maybe it was like a case of like this or that, you know, like if you want to keep the PG rating because it's not G, PG and PG, I mean, jaws is PG.
00;31;00;10 - 00;31;32;24
Yeah, obviously it's pre PG 13, but still. Still need a parent. The guidance. Yeah. yeah. The guidance. So no but Mick Garris talked about this on his podcast postmortem. the original draft. Well first of all the original title of this movie was, Disney's Halloween House and was. Yeah, it was, according to producer. David Kershner, it's based off of a story that he used to tell his kids about it.
00;31;32;24 - 00;31;55;14
Basically, the story he told his kids was this opening was about a kid who gets turned into a cat by these three women. Okay, so then I guess he, you know, he and Mick Garris, kind of build the story off of that. And the story the movie was originally supposed to be a little more not adult oriented, but more monster squatty, I guess a little scarier.
00;31;55;17 - 00;32;15;22
So, okay, a lot of the ideas in this movie, it makes sense why they're leaning into sort of not kid friendly territory, but then are kind of watered down in such a jokey way that it feels you don't really know, like, oh yeah, once you start thinking about it like, this is pretty, intense. yeah, so I do.
00;32;15;22 - 00;32;45;11
I wonder if some if they had gone that route with maybe they wanted to be a little bit more grotesque with the sister, because it would have been pretty cool. That would have been. Yeah. I know, I know makers had and this is purely based off of his, when he was talking about on the podcast. I'm not sure if I wouldn't go so far as to speak on his behalf and say he was disappointed, but you could tell that there was a lot of, you know, Disney interference from the first gotcha of this movie to what it ultimately became, for better or worse.
00;32;45;11 - 00;33;10;15
But, yeah, yeah, good old Mick Garris. He's just, an American treasure. We love him. So my next reveal, I have J and ice in the cemetery. I'm way early. Did you guys count them as much. No. To them as first I counted them as an honorable mention second. Well okay. See this is where the reveals get crazy.
00;33;10;15 - 00;33;37;13
My my next reveal was earlier was when the Salem townspeople meet the Sanderson sisters. Okay, let's hold on a second here. We need to take a minute. Let's pump the brakes. Let's pump the brakes on this for just a second. up until this point, we have Danny. Where we at on reveals up until the Sanderson sisters are brutally executed in this PG.
00;33;37;15 - 00;34;02;11
So touring Disney movie. This is the triple massacre. that is the second reveal. okay. Yeah. So the second reveal is kind of what kicks off. That's not necessarily the inciting incident, but it kind of sets up the story where the witches not only are caught. Yeah, and hanged, but they basically they don't really put a curse on the town.
00;34;02;11 - 00;34;25;17
They kind of put it they cast a spell on themselves that when someone lights the black flame candle, when a virgin lights the black film candle, they're going to come back from the dead and, wreak havoc on the children of Salem. Yeah, man, I wonder if the candle had ever been lit before. I mean, it looks like it has, but that doesn't mean.
00;34;25;20 - 00;34;47;06
Yeah, like they've been through this before. Or what if they know and then, like, blow it out, so you hear them coming and then like, oh, there it. If I know like I wonder like basically what I'm trying to find out is how much people in Salem have sex. I see what you're saying. Oh, back then, there was nothing else to fucking do.
00;34;47;07 - 00;35;09;18
They were all fucking nothing to do. It's all fucking stinky because they can't take proper fucking bath. Oh, it's the case that you're still in, like, the 1600s. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I thought you were saying, like, every time someone went to light it, they just happened to not be a virgin. Yeah. See, I was talking about how many people, like, in when it was a museum.
00;35;09;18 - 00;35;36;08
How many people in the museum? How many museum people lit that candle? Never mind. now, if they did, they all had sex because nice. Cool, man. So we've set up the premise of the movie, essentially, and we're onto our next honorable mention. It's where Max, who has just moved to Salem from LA, as we've pointed out, has just met the local bullies Jay and Ernie.
00;35;36;11 - 00;36;01;27
A m journey. Yes, Jay, Jay's. yeah. And Jay reminded me a lot of that guy from Idle Hands. Which one do you know who I'm talking about? He, like, works on his truck the whole time. Yeah. It's like. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I don't know that actors now I know. Yeah. That's so funny. He reminded me of him.
00;36;02;01 - 00;36;28;22
Like I was like, is that him when he was younger or something? It wasn't. But yeah, very similar. Very similar right. Yeah. When what's funny is Jay seems like the guy who's from LA, not Max. Seems like he's from Massachusetts. Right. Exactly. Yeah. It's pretty funny, which, Okay, so before we meet them in that honorable mention, I want to talk about real quick, Max's confidence in the classroom.
00;36;28;29 - 00;36;48;19
Yeah. And he just stands up in front of everybody in the middle of class and gives Allison his phone number, and he's just, like, something about Jimi Hendrix or some shit. And he's like, here's my shows. Here's what number. It's like, what do you like, do on a huge piece, like on a full piece of paper? And this is like, yeah, he writes in the top corner.
00;36;48;22 - 00;37;10;16
Yeah. But like the teacher's talking and he just like, stands up and he's like, what's up, baby? She's like, shoot your shot, Max. Yeah, but you know what's even better? For when she fucking gives it back to him? Oh yes. Baller move. Yeah, yeah. And he knows that town. Like what? They've been there like a week is what he said.
00;37;10;21 - 00;37;32;23
Yeah. Yeah. And he knows that town really well. He's got all kinds of shortcuts through the woods and he this and and his, his room is very well put together. It looks like he's been living there for years. it's so true. It's very funny. yeah. He has nothing to be upset about. He can't want to leave when he's invested the way that he has.
00;37;32;27 - 00;37;58;15
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. He loves the locals. He's got a he's fallen in love with someone. He's got. He's completely. Yeah. He loves her job. He's addiction. Yeah. He's he's down for the others. Yeah. And there's until our next reveal or third reveal. There's a lot of setup in between. Or it's essentially just kind of it's Halloween night.
00;37;58;17 - 00;38;14;29
Max is taking Danny out trick or treating. They meet Alison at her parents. eyes wide shut sex party. I want to go to that party. I want to go to the after party. Well, I want to go for fucking Max. And Danny wanted to go so bad that they just walked in the front door of a stand.
00;38;15;06 - 00;38;33;08
But there's so much of this in this movie. There is so much like, oh, it's Halloween. We can just go inside to do whatever we want. Yeah, there's so much of that. Yeah, it's a little crazy. And then Max gets super excited about the candy on the table.
00;38;33;10 - 00;38;54;17
That was the Disney executives watching the first couple. Like he can't be too horny. Make him excited about something. Like, it really is just kind of buffer it, it was funny. And they talk about, they talk about Alison Zervos. Yep yep yep. And she, like, doesn't even care. Like Danny's like, what do you call him? Ex.
00;38;54;17 - 00;39;04;26
Her. Yeah. Boss. Love her. Yeah. And she's just like oh she's like yeah. My god.
00;39;04;28 - 00;39;35;03
but then they go to, they go to the Simpson house. Yes. we're back at it. I do, I love this detail that it's like a preserved, museum, that it was a museum for a long time. So clever. But, yeah, so sad because it's like, it would never still be there. No. Right. And so it's one thing that they that they wrote in properly in this, but what that and everything else aside from, you know, people just walking into people's homes.
00;39;35;03 - 00;39;54;26
Oh yeah. Yeah. It, it okay. Yeah. But I love that Max's lighter. Like gets him anywhere he needs to go. Yeah. Finds that lighter. And he's just like, he like, flips it open on his jeans or whatever. They find a lighter and then like, later, he's like going through, and he's just like, it's just. Yeah, it's kind of like his Swiss army knife.
00;39;54;26 - 00;40;17;07
He kind of used to put that together. It kind of gets them out of every problem in this movie. but little Virgin Max. Lisa candle. Yeah. it's so funny because, yeah, he is so proud of his virginity. A lot of times in, like, movies and stuff, you see, like the boys who were, like, trying to impress the girl, and they're like, I'm not a virgin.
00;40;17;07 - 00;40;33;03
Yeah, yeah. Six all the time. Like, she lives in Niagara Falls. This is, like, the opposite of Superbad. Totally. Yeah, yeah, this is Superbad. They'd be like, all right, well, if you're not a virgin like the candle, let's see what happens. I can be like, no, no, I was just like so many women. Yeah. I don't want any later.
00;40;33;04 - 00;40;59;02
Oh, never worse. later. I can't say I can't light it after all. I better go. So. Yeah, this is where this is. This is a big reveal. this is our third reveal where they. Max lights the candle and it brings back the famous Sanderson sisters. Yeah, the third reveal, but maybe the most important. Yeah.
00;40;59;04 - 00;41;14;22
which, like, it was strange to me. I mean, it was a cool effect, but, like, the floor crumbles and there's, like, all this green light coming from under the floorboards, and I thought they were going to, like, come from the floor or something. And then they're just like. They're just like, open the door and they're outside.
00;41;14;22 - 00;41;33;19
And I was confused about, like, why the floor was glowing green. but it was still cool, though. There's still this that set as they were budgeting and they were like, whoa, wait wait wait wait wait. The portal that is supposed to open from the floor can't afford it. Yeah. No. Hey, we got a door. That door hasn't come to that.
00;41;33;25 - 00;41;55;08
Yeah. but, no, that was cool. That was cool. And, Yeah, Danny kind of has, like, this. Cool. It's like she's so smart. You mean she's eight and she's like, really? She got a good head on her shoulders and she's like, yeah, I was the one that brought you guys back. So I'm cool with you, you know, trying to get out of it.
00;41;55;10 - 00;42;26;02
I didn't see like you didn't see like John and pretend like, oh, like a long day. Like I'm gonna go home. Or she's probably my favorite eight year olds. That's okay. But she doesn't stand a chance against the witch's appetite. Because even though she says she's not hungry, they're hungry. Yeah. And Yeah. But Thackery who has now become Binx he, he makes himself.
00;42;26;02 - 00;42;52;14
No, no, that Thackery. So please don't start calling me back. Check my, you at the. He also does the voice for Max and the Goofy Movie. Yes. Oh. Does he? I couldn't thinking about out the whole time. If I was Jason Marsden. Yeah. Jason Marsden, who is not the actor who plays the right Thackery. He's just the voice of him when he's a cat.
00;42;52;15 - 00;43;21;22
Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. I didn't know that at school. Fun fact, Jason Marsden was the best friend of Eric Matthews in Boy Meets World in the first 2 or 3 seasons, and his name is Jason Marsden in the show. Oh, cool. Cool. I didn't know that. let's see. So they released the Sanderson Sisters and yeah, there's a big, big, fight scene.
00;43;21;22 - 00;43;38;25
And, and this is so cool to me because, like I had said before, this is my first time really watching this movie. and I love to see that because, like, I never noticed this before, but, like, I love to see them being scared by all these things that they're not used to in the, in the 20th century.
00;43;38;25 - 00;44;02;03
Like the sprinklers. Well, you know, he told them it was like rain. Yeah, he, like, could control the weather. And so they are freaking out. Well, they're witches, so what? They don't know what he's capable of necessarily. I mean, right. And I said, yeah, that was that was clever. These three actors, every time they scream, just responding to something for some reason it like, tickles.
00;44;02;03 - 00;44;33;03
Such a funny bone in me. I laughed so hard. It's because it's so everything is so over the top. These three actors sell it so perfectly. Yeah, yeah. And sisters, yeah, I know they get credit for it. It's not like this is like some, you know, underappreciated movie. I feel like everyone's obsessed with it. But I think I'd be remiss to, kind of overlook or not at least mention the fact again over the other countless times how perfect they are in this movie.
00;44;33;06 - 00;44;58;18
Yeah. They're good. Yeah I guess. Okay. Have you guys seen part two. No. Yes. How is part two Danny. yeah I've seen it. Okay. He's seen it okay. Yeah. He does not want to elaborate. I did watch it. I've only seen it once, so I can't really compare it in. I've seen focus. I mean, I can't even tell you how many times, it was fine.
00;44;58;18 - 00;45;27;02
It was. It was not. I'm glad they got the actors back to play the Sanderson sisters. That was cool. Yeah. it definitely did have a moment where I was like, oh, I'm. There is no nostalgia. I'm an adult watching a kid's movie. I don't judge this. I love kids movies. No, me two, even new ones. Yeah, but I think Danny like, what Danny's saying is like, you know, since you're not a kid.
00;45;27;04 - 00;45;46;23
Yeah, you kind of have this, like, I don't know if it's a bias or whatever, like a different perspective that it's like you may not have if you were a kid seeing it for the first time. Yeah. Like, I hear that conversation a lot with, Star Wars fans where maybe, you know, everyone's entitled to their opinion. Maybe, maybe some movies are coming out that are objectively not good.
00;45;46;23 - 00;46;06;14
I don't know, that's not what I'm saying. But I've heard people say, like who? People who criticize a lot of the modern Star Wars movies have been sort of like faced with people saying, are you just did you just grow up? Did you just love what you loved? Because not to say Star Wars movies are kids movies, but like that magic maybe isn't there anymore.
00;46;06;14 - 00;46;26;02
So you don't you're not associating it with these newer ones because you're you grew up. So to be I mean, kind of judge it on the same grounds. That's a you can't. But maybe that's where that kind of negatives reaction is coming from I don't know. Yeah, yeah yeah. Parts one, two and three though they were bad. Anyway let's move on.
00;46;26;04 - 00;46;53;27
the prequels. Yeah. but real quick, I just saw a guy talking about, The Matrix on. It's actually he's he's pretty big on social media. He's the guy who wrote John Dies at the end. that movie, I guess it was a novel. And then they made it into a movie. But he was talking about how, like, if any movie needs to be remade, it's The Matrix because it's got, like, such, good message or like an important message.
00;46;53;29 - 00;47;22;06
but like he said, he's like, showed it to, like, his nephews or whatever. And they were all like, this movie's so dated. It's it's silly and like, the costumes are bad and this, but like, we know it was like, oh, yeah, The Matrix. It's cool. Amazing. But he was like. He was like, if kids today are thinking that about like this movie, like remake this movie because the message is good, but you know, day that my brother actually talks about that, like my brother has told me before, like, because I'm not usually a fan of when they remake movies, right?
00;47;22;06 - 00;47;39;04
There are some that I like. There are some that I enjoy. I don't have a problem when they do it. I just don't usually watch them. Yeah, but my brother is like all for it. And he's very like, people are going to forget about movies, you know what I mean? And like 50 years, people will forget about a certain movie, but when it gets remade, then there's a new interest in it.
00;47;39;04 - 00;47;57;15
It's a different take on the story. Same thing if things are dated, you know, like with with the new pro coming out. People are so angry. Yeah, well, that's for no reason. I'm. I am, you know, you know, ten years ago or something, I was like, fuck remakes. Yes. but now, you know, like The Crow, for example.
00;47;57;15 - 00;48;36;00
And people are like, oh, if you want to see it, just go watch the original. And and, you know, it's, it's easier you you're not honoring his legacy and stuff, but like, I had an experience years ago, you know, a lot of times they say like, oh, we're we're bringing in a new audience for these movies. I had an experience with a song cover years ago when I heard The Killers, who I was really into, they covered Dire Straits, Romeo and Juliet, and I absolutely love that song, but I did not know that it was a Dire Straits song.
00;48;36;03 - 00;49;01;00
and so I love the song. And then I said, oh, this is a song by Dire Straits, and they're very, you know, like, this is we covered the song. And so then I started listening to the original version by Dire Straits, and now I really like Dire Straits. so it's not like The Crow remake shouldn't be like an, I shouldn't say just a Crow remake, but this is what kind of sparked this thought process in my brain.
00;49;01;02 - 00;49;23;20
Remakes. I am of that mindset now that they can introduce the new generation to the older movies, right? Because if you enjoy The Crow, you're going to go watch the original, right? Or if they enjoy the remake. Yeah, yeah. Or if you didn't really like The Crow, the new, the new one, and someone's like, oh, you're interested in it, but you didn't really like that.
00;49;23;20 - 00;49;46;24
Go check out the original. Yeah. And be like, okay, so yeah, I'm all for remakes these days. I love, except the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, but that's a well, that's the thing is, anything can be done poorly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you can do something. Well, remakes have been happening. I mean, the film, film, Hollywood movies are so new.
00;49;46;27 - 00;50;06;25
You know, Christopher Nolan even mentioned it in his Oscar speech where he was like, we're just in, like, the beginning of this. I'm so excited to see where it goes. Kind of like reminding us that this is new. I mean, they remade The Fly as a remake, you know, it's a remake. Yeah. You do a good job on something as long as you respect what you know, what came before it.
00;50;06;27 - 00;50;35;21
You know you're not replacing. You know, for example, you just said, Nightmare on Elm Street. Like that movie, that remake sucked. Oh, but how much attention did it bring back to the original story? Right. And so something bad might build up an appetite for a better take on it. You know, if it's going to be inevitable, if a sequel or a remake is inevitable, you maybe have to trip up a little bit to be like, okay, next time, let's learn from our mistakes.
00;50;35;21 - 00;50;59;05
Let's really perfect this. So, I mean, it's going to happen. So to hate it, to hate all of it, just all of it based on like what it's branded as then maybe, I don't know, maybe it's well, we'll just, you know, we'll we'll this argument can come to a close once, Alex Garland remakes Hocus Pocus. There you go.
00;50;59;05 - 00;51;30;14
Yes. what a dream. Okay, where are we? there is a lot that happens, I think, between our third reveal, which is the Sanderson sisters returning, and our next honorable mention when the trio meets Billy Butcher. Sin. Yeah. The zombie who turns out to not be a monster in the end. he's a, quote unquote monster, by definition, as like a zombie.
00;51;30;16 - 00;51;58;13
yeah. But he's also been terrorized by the Sanderson sisters himself. Yeah, right. Who is the famous miraculous Doug Jones? Doug Jones, who you all know as he's played every horror, iconic horror character you could think of. He plays the pale man in general del Toros, Pan's Labyrinth. He's basically in all of Euro and del Toros.
00;51;58;16 - 00;52;20;13
All of them require a slave to be adapted from Shape of Water. Yeah, everything. And yeah, he's also I actually just started the fifth season of What We Do in the shadows, and he's in that. Oh, nice. That's incredible. Yeah. That's fun. He's like the most famous vampire that exists. Basically, he's like the head of the Vampiric Council.
00;52;20;16 - 00;52;53;21
Okay, fun. Yeah. That's cool. but correct me if I'm wrong in Hocus Pocus. His character back in the day was married to Winifred Winifred, but was sleeping around with Sarah. Surprise, surprise. You're fucking whore. I'm sorry. Look at you, you horny little slut. Yeah. So she got herself into some trouble. What? I mean, and so then did they put a spell on him?
00;52;53;24 - 00;53;14;08
I'll kill him. What? She pointed point. She poison him? They talk about it. Oh, I thought you were going to. Did Sarah put a spell on him to have sex with her? Oh, I don't think she needs to. She's just the hot one with the Sarah doesn't get. Winifred isn't angry at Sarah, which is interesting. Oh, all the blame goes on to Billy, right?
00;53;14;14 - 00;53;36;08
Right. Then I would say there's probably no spell involved. Okay, what if there was, like, what if there was, like, an intense family drama about the Sanderson sisters? That's the old scar. So we need a break here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. We need to get Alex Garland. I know not focused. I know I tried calling him earlier, but it was,
00;53;36;11 - 00;54;13;05
The line was busy. He's promoting his new movie, Civil War, in theaters now. yes. Yes. unless you're listening to this episode, when it's not in theaters, I love when we meet Billy Butcher in, specifically for he like specifically for the fact that he wakes up from his resting place. Right. He comes up like a classic zombie, and then he turns around and he sees his headstone, and then he kind of slumps his shoulders like, oh, fuck it, like I thought I was sleeping, but now here's my headset.
00;54;13;05 - 00;54;41;17
I'm fucking dead. that was really funny. You know, it's interesting. I don't want to. We don't have to linger too much on this. But he has an interesting death because it's. I'm literally building. This is a theory based on. Absolutely. Oh, it's based off this. So he has his mouth sewn shut. I wonder if because whenever it's Sanderson is a very interesting character because all of her kind of if you really think about like what her goal is because she's kind of leading the charge, you could say that the sisters are in on it, too.
00;54;41;20 - 00;55;03;09
They kind of just follow her. And her whole thing, she's a very like superficial, goal. She just wants to be young again. She wants to be beautiful. That's it. At the expense of literally the most innocent thing you can think of. Children. So she seems like someone who's who, who maybe doesn't want to be challenged with anything.
00;55;03;09 - 00;55;35;19
Like whether or not like her intentions are even meaningful at all. So I like to believe that she also, like, refuses to see her sisters in a negative light because they're kind of an extension of her. So my belief this is my theory is that Billy tried to talk to her, to Winifred, saying that maybe what he and I don't know, trying to basically talk itself out of this shit show with like, maybe it just wasn't working out, you know, like, you and I like are clicking, you know I'm.
00;55;35;21 - 00;56;01;00
So she shut him up instead of because she can't quite face the reality of her delusions. That's very deep for hocus pocus. Damn. Yeah. Well I saw that in the Alex Garland movie. so I can't take all the credit. yeah, probably a stretch, but, no, it's the first time I really thought about the fact that his mouth was sewn shut, and I needed.
00;56;01;02 - 00;56;29;23
I needed to know. Yeah, yeah. is this where, banks gets run over by a fucking bus? Yes. So that leads us into our fourth reveal, which is when the horny bus driver meets the Sanderson sisters. Okay. yeah. And then. Yeah. Sarah is like, sitting on his lap driving the fucking bus. Yeah. she sold his mouth so that he couldn't reveal her secrets.
00;56;29;23 - 00;56;53;10
Even in death. Oh. Did they say that in the movie. Yeah. Yeah, they do. Yeah, but I like your theory, Danny. It's. Thank you. It's just. It's good. You know, when you're not paying attention, your brain just when you're talking about your own theory. Yeah. You just you totally don't even try to listen. but, yeah, banks gets run over.
00;56;53;12 - 00;57;18;08
He's so cute. Yeah, that was pretty, fucking morbid. Like they fucking run over the cat. Yeah. Yeah, also pretty dark. Even the coming back to life was dark with, like, the bones crunching and, inhaling, filling up. He's just like, I hate when that happens. I get, like, opposite of a fart.
00;57;18;10 - 00;57;44;13
It's a gas goes in. It's a bloat. Yeah. No. It's bloated. we're jumping right to our next reveal, you guys. Oh, yeah. they meet, their master, Satan himself. They meet Satan himself. Why the fuck does this man invite them in the house? I am just so. I feel there's two ways of looking at it. There's no way to look at it, Danny did.
00;57;44;13 - 00;58;12;22
These are three fucking strangers that he just invites inside on Halloween. I mean, he's clearly horny. Yeah, right. Yeah. They they show up at his door. They're like worshiping him, right? I don't know, he's just like, I mean, so that's that's that's all I got is that he's horny. So if you were horny, Zach, if you were horny, and I was just chilling in the living room, your horny, you open the door.
00;58;12;23 - 00;58;30;17
The three strangers there. Three. You get in vitamin. you say, come on in and meet my wife. She's gonna love this. That's what he does. He can, I know that. That's why I'm asking if you would do that. Well, I don't know. I mean, I have also seen that Keanu Reeves movie with the girls at the door.
00;58;30;18 - 00;58;53;13
Knock, knock, do I wrong? That doesn't. Yeah, that doesn't end well for him, I don't think. Yeah, but maybe that's why you shouldn't do that. Jerry and Penny have. Well, clearly they maybe they've been open. Maybe they have an open relationship, but it's just not the right time, you know? Yeah. Because I was thinking either he's just very into Halloween, so he's like, so like, oh my God.
00;58;53;13 - 00;59;15;04
Like it's like cosplaying. It's like, oh my God, you're as into this as I am. Come on in. Like, let's like celebrate. But they are strangers. That's the fun. He does not know. These women know this is not real. It just it just boggles my mind. But maybe it is like his accent. Maybe it is. My other point was maybe it is like a sex thing where these maybe, maybe this guy.
00;59;15;06 - 00;59;39;20
All right. Great. I think it's time for our conspiracy theory of the week. Oh, Danny. Hit it. I'm telling you that NASA is going to of the United States kind of thing. A Secret Service agent and, like, throw himself on top of the whole Vietnam War was fought over. And then Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle on. The third issue this year.
00;59;39;23 - 01;00;02;12
Conspiracy theory. Okay, let's just say maybe Gary Marshall in this movie has a reputation. He throws the best sex parties. And every now and then people, it's like it's on a, invitation you know basis. So sometimes people show up. It's like, well clearly you're here because you've heard about it from, you know, you know that they didn't think about any of this.
01;00;02;14 - 01;00;17;06
This is but I think they did. This was not there was no, there was none of that. So when they show up and they're like calling it master all of a sudden like, got it. Okay. There. Got a dominant like submissive kind of thing going on here. He invites them in and I'm just I'm just throwing this out there.
01;00;17;08 - 01;00;42;04
He does give them full size candy bars. Yeah he does if you know what I mean. So he's a dick. Yeah. Clark Byers is that the name of for his penis. Clark. Clark. Yeah I want to be Clark. He pulls down his red spandex and Clark. Clark. One ball is named Barr and the other one is named Kent.
01;00;42;06 - 01;00;54;09
Oh, I appreciate that. You thought that was so funny. I love Clark by Clark. Yeah.
01;00;54;11 - 01;01;21;10
Oh, wow. That was good. That was good. I think his wife is usually in on it, but because he also maybe is a little too excited around Halloween, she's overwhelmed by the energy and she's like, pick a lane, man. Like I do one or the other. We're either celebrating Halloween or we're going. We're going around town.
01;01;21;13 - 01;01;42;11
And okay, he obviously leaned into Halloween because it's comes about once a year, except for us, because it's Happy Halloween. And once the lady showed up, he she was like, okay. And us, she's like, I told you to pick. Yeah. We talked. And then she's, she sees him dancing with Sarah Sanderson. And, that was the last straw.
01;01;42;14 - 01;02;01;17
Yeah, it's implied that she's jealous in the movie, but more it's just she's just frustrated because Mrs.. Yeah. And then she gives them more Clark bars. Yeah. Like real credit versus, you know, almost like, kind of like to throw it at him to be like, look at me. Oh, you want to celebrate Halloween? Well, I'm going to celebrate Halloween and kick these ladies out.
01;02;01;17 - 01;02;24;02
So what do you think? Well, because that's what they they give Clark bars as, like, door prizes for their sex parties. Right. And so because it's because it's molded. It's molded after his penis. Oh. So. Oh they're like here, take all the Clark Kenny that you were. Oh, I don't think he cared. Like, get yourself like. Well yeah yeah yeah yeah.
01;02;24;02 - 01;02;39;12
But it's still shaped like a stick. They're not sticking it in their butts any. Why? Come on. Get a graphic card. Chris. Let's try that grip firmly around your Clark palm.
01;02;39;14 - 01;02;48;17
Cakes. yeah. So they get their Clark bars to go, and they leave.
01;02;48;19 - 01;03;09;14
Yeah. Take your Clark bars to go. Just get out of the stupid. This very. It's all right. So sorry. Know it's great, but they're not really sure what they're supposed to do at their Clark bars. So they end up eating them. Yeah. And then just when they spit, that's like, what does that say in. Next we get an honorable mention.
01;03;09;16 - 01;03;28;12
Yes. Yeah. So they're back out there like fuck this. Like this world, this future is not the same as the world that we're used to. To the point that people dress up to kind of mock their culture in so many ways. But that is when we get the honorable mention of the trick or treaters dressed up as them.
01;03;28;12 - 01;03;47;28
So it's, it's very meta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're, they're legends in the, in the Salem community. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if they know that. No, no I don't know if you know what I mean. Yeah. I don't think they do either. I've actually been to the park where part of that part of it was filmed.
01;03;47;29 - 01;04;14;26
Yeah. Really. Oh, cool. And Salem cool. That's cool. Yeah. You do wonder because Winifred is her. Her goals are so superficial and selfish that if she had maybe known that they were so revered nowadays, even in like an infamous light, maybe she wouldn't be so compelled to try to kill a few kids because she needs like, no, I think she was right.
01;04;14;27 - 01;04;34;22
I think she would have used it to her benefit because it would have been much easier because, I mean, like, look, it's Halloween and we're dressed as the Sanderson Sisters. Yeah. Come on, kids, you want some pictures or, you know, some some like that, you know. Yeah. They could have easily lured children. Yeah. If they paid attention to their surroundings a little more and weren't so narrow minded.
01;04;34;22 - 01;04;59;10
Right. This. Yeah. Their journey throughout this night could have been a lot simpler. Yes. It'll get you. Yeah, but then they head to the party at. I don't know what kind of town. Honey, this is a town hall for the for the adults. And this is where there's, like, a witch. Kind of threw me that. Like, I know it's a kid's movie.
01;04;59;11 - 01;05;28;14
I know Bette Midler is like a singer too, as well. And so it's like, you the fact that she sings, the fact that, like, broke into song and there's like, it's not like them on the microphones. And so the best part of the movie, I'm going to push back only I mean, have your opinion, obviously, but the reason why I think this works is because this is actually a good example of the sisters kind of they just realized that they are very much in a different time.
01;05;28;14 - 01;05;51;10
So now we're kind of seeing them owning it like, well, let's lean into it at this point. And so yes, are there movies, especially a lot of Disney movies where they break into song? It's like, what? What? Like what prompted this? What are reality? Whereas this it actually works because she's doing a spell. Yeah. How do you hide a spell while you're at a dance?
01;05;51;10 - 01;06;09;14
So do it. I mean, sure, Sarah sings and does a spell too, so it's not like, yeah, it's the only. Oh, that's how that happens. Yeah. but yeah, I love this part. It's very iconic. Everybody knows this better than me. But like, the the, Mary and Sarah used the microphones. They don't know what the fuck a microphone is.
01;06;09;17 - 01;06;28;12
And they're standing at the microphone like they're backup singers. Like they know in the culture what the backup singers do. Yeah. And they're just like they're. We get a lot of that in this movie. Like later. Yeah. When she climbs up next to the window and checks driver's license. Yes. And says he's resisting arrest and like, yeah. And then calls him dude.
01;06;28;19 - 01;06;55;12
Like what? There are a few. It's funny because you could argue that a lot of this movie takes a lot of, so like suspension of disbelief, I guess. Yeah, because it's about magic. But within that realm, like once you believe that that exists and you accept that there still are moments like later we'll get to it where when they're in the high school and Max is doing this whole like, I'm Boris Karloff Jr and welcome to Ice Spell.
01;06;55;12 - 01;07;16;09
Like, yeah, what? Who are you talking to. Are you what is this performance that you're doing? It's in the context of this movie. It's just so there are moments like that. Like the drivers permit. Yeah. It's just it. Yeah, you kind of have to accept it, but it sticks out like a sore thumb. Yes. so that's our sixth reveal.
01;07;16;11 - 01;07;40;20
our sixth official reveal was when, they put a spell on the partygoers at town hall. Allison, I think it's Allison who has the idea of how to get rid of the Sanderson sisters. Right? Which is a classic textbook example of killing a witch, historically speaking. Yes. Which I thought was really cool. Like. Yeah, putting them in the in the kiln.
01;07;40;20 - 01;08;02;12
Right. It's in the county, like and like burning them alive was a cool like throwback to burning which is at stake. but one line that I loved like there's like kind of like a commentary on shit when like they go up to the school and they're like, what is this like building whatever. And, it's like it's a prison for children.
01;08;02;14 - 01;08;25;26
Yeah. Like, Yep. It's a school in a nutshell. There's something we can agree on. Sanderson sisters. Yeah, but how did they know they were in the school? They can smell them. Oh, that makes sense. I guess that that does make sense, though. Oh, yeah. Because, like, Mary can, like, track him because she she can't. She the shoes and she smells the shoes.
01;08;25;26 - 01;08;53;23
Yeah. And she smells scrubbed. It's it's about what ever so like I smell I smell scratch. So wait when does, when do they meet J and ice. That's after. So you know, our protagonists have their little false victory with the kiln. Yeah. I mean, they do successfully kill it, but the fact the, you know, the deal is that the witches get to stay alive for this period.
01;08;53;23 - 01;09;20;22
Yeah. Because I can't they'll still burning in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's then that we see J and Ice Arc have kind of exhausted themselves and exhausted their tomfoolery of the evening. Yeah, I say too much candy. Yeah. I feel they would have been fine. The witches did not want to bother with them, but they were calling them names and, yeah, they end up getting ugly, right?
01;09;20;25 - 01;09;46;22
Yeah, yeah. It's like Jesus. Do they call them ugly? They said, why did the only the ugly ones come out at night? That's all right. Let's stay out late. Yeah. The only ones that late, would, yeah, be a little punk, but just don't be mean. You know? What a jerk. But, And then they go back to Max's room, which has, like, that little staircase up to the.
01;09;46;23 - 01;10;04;28
Oh, that was like a dream for the widow's peak as we speak. What else is it? Isn't it? Widows, something. It's where women would sit and wait for their husbands to come home. Yeah. Oh, my dream scenario is to have a cool room with that. And they have, like, a little office setup up there. Oh my God. Oh, yeah.
01;10;05;03 - 01;10;24;05
Views. Yeah. I, that's perfect. What is it called? What is it called? I have to I have to figure it out. I think it's a widow's peak. And then they called it. But it's not. But widow's peak is hair. Yeah. I only remember this because years ago I wrote a story called Widow's Peak, and it was set in and around that kind of room.
01;10;24;07 - 01;10;51;24
But this was years ago. Maybe I was writing about hair by accident. Widow's walk, a widow's walk. Yeah. Okay. We put boots for the return of their seafaring husband. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Widow's walk. yeah. And so Danny has adopted Thackery Binks as her own. As her own. And he's just so cute when they're. He's cool with it.
01;10;52;01 - 01;11;13;05
Yeah, it was cute. Oh my God. Allison is all cuddled up with Max. Max is getting a big old boner and a big old virgin boner. It's a big old virgin boner. You know, it's. I never thought about this. It's kind of funny. They. They set up this whole thing of, like, Binks has kind of resigned himself or at least accepted in a maybe a more positive ways.
01;11;13;06 - 01;11;37;26
He accepted the fact that he was going to be a pet cat. And two seconds later, Max and Alice are like, let's turn him back. Yeah. It's just like, fuck with Danny. Like, fuck. They're like, we're going, oh yeah, yeah. And in doing so, they end up, yeah, yeah, they they don't follow, Banks's advice by not opening the book.
01;11;37;26 - 01;12;05;08
And so they open the book and it sends out a signal that they can't see. But a Winifred can see. It's like a, beacon, of where the book is. The spellbook. and this actually, when they, they open the book. Oh, my God fucking. They're. Jesus Christ, I'm struggling. It's like listener Zach is struggling with his Sarah Sanderson wig.
01;12;05;08 - 01;12;26;05
And it is instead I'm using, good thing to watch all over my face. that's what she said, but. Oh, yeah, I did have my cum catcher standing here. All right, let's not be, homophobic. That's what he said. That's what. That's what they said. That's what they said. Yeah. but, Yeah, this scared me, dude.
01;12;26;11 - 01;12;44;07
When they like, when she was in the bed. Yes. Me. Holy shit. And they code. They're like, they go to find. They go to find Danny. Yep. Yeah. They go to find. They're like, oh, we got to protect Danny. And they go and they pull back the covers on the bed. And Sarah is there and she jumps up.
01;12;44;12 - 01;13;07;13
Holy shit. It scared me too. It got me when I was a kid. It it's so effective now. the pacing and the editing in the scene is fantastic because you know that they're fucked. So it's a great example of like that. Hitchcock's fencing, like, you know, the bomb is under the table, but you're watching the characters not know that it's about to go off.
01;13;07;15 - 01;13;26;29
So you have that cutaway of like, Max and Max and Allison are flirting, and then you cut to that close up of Winifred's fingernail cutting open. Oh, Wendy's was cool. It's just those, like, little details. That works so well. And make this, like, one of those great gateway horror movies for kids. Because I think it does.
01;13;26;29 - 01;13;54;01
Like, this movie does get remembered for, like, those iconic scenes like the the I put a spell on you, but this stuff is I think that's what makes it so rewatchable because it's just well-made. It's a good little light horror movie. Yeah. Very good. And that visual of her, like you said, ripping the screen with her with her nail is just it's creepy.
01;13;54;03 - 01;14;08;08
Oh I always love the scene because when they kidnaped Danny every time ever since I was little. And Allison is like Danny I was like, yeah, why?
01;14;08;11 - 01;14;44;26
It's. Okay, so the Sanderson sisters have successfully captured Danny and Binx, and they are taking them back to their little house. Yeah. Is this a final reveal? Yeah. Technically, yeah. Our, final reveal of Sarah Sanderson singing sexy songs. Sexy songs to the children of the town of Salem. Yeah, baby, that was another creepy. That was another creepy visual of all the kids.
01;14;44;26 - 01;15;12;09
Just like. Yeah, just walking towards, in one direction. That was kind of cool because it's not their walking to die. Yeah, yeah. There's no like, oh, God, there's nothing kind of like, spooky about it. It's straight up murder. And she's got her eyes out and she's just grinding on that mob. Oh, yeah, I do love. We did skip that where they do the when they fly out on the improvised brooms.
01;15;12;09 - 01;15;33;15
Oh. So yeah. Oh my God, I love it. Yeah. Such a clever idea. but again that goes with like that being an old museum because those things were in there because it was being used at one point. So there were, there was a mop and a vacuum cleaner because people were cleaning it all just. Yeah, it works so well.
01;15;33;18 - 01;16;01;15
Yeah. That was, that was really clever. But yeah, she's, she's flying up on a broom and, and luring these kids to her mop. Broom. Her her must and a Nimbus 2000 mop with bristles that are Nimbus 2000. It's the turducken of mops and brooms. That's right. And so. Well, this is where we see, that Winifred kind of dooms herself.
01;16;01;17 - 01;16;20;28
Yeah. She's an idiot. Pride. Yeah. And arrogance. She could have had any of those children. Which would have at least kept her. And then she could have gone and gotten daddy any other. Yeah. Well Sarah even points it out. She's like we'll make more potion like let's just but it, but it, it, it works so well with the character.
01;16;20;28 - 01;16;53;01
It's very consistent with who it is. Nothing that she's doing. Everything is so immature. Her goals like as a witch, it's not even like, oh, I'm a witch because I want. It's just I'm. I want to be the most beautiful, the most powerful, and that's it. There's it's it's not any more complex than that. Which actually makes her an interesting villain, because you see her kind of fuck herself over inadvertently.
01;16;53;03 - 01;17;15;10
Right? yeah. And then they get to the, cemetery, you know, this isn't a reveal, but it's the climax of the movie. they get to the cemetery and, Binx, like, jumps on her. She drops the potion. And honestly, why didn't Max just let it break on the ground? He caught it purposely. All right.
01;17;15;12 - 01;17;38;06
Yeah. And then yeah it's smashing it. He drank it. Well because he said that seemed to pull the attention directly to him from the sister. Well you know, but they wouldn't have been able to do anything if it would have smashed and then they would have waited five minutes and they would have died. but yeah, but then, but yeah, he purposely catches it and she says if you dump it out, I'll kill her.
01;17;38;08 - 01;17;59;28
Right. So like at that point then he drank it, which, whatever. But then he drank it and just chilled there for like two minutes. Yeah, right. What are my favorite? Do something. One of my favorite things in these like, something about the sunrise. He's like, how do we get the sun to rise? We're going to need a miracle to.
01;17;59;28 - 01;18;23;04
Yeah. And it was like, no, you don't need to wait. You just need to wait. You just need to stall them. And then the sun will come up on its own. Buddy. The sun will rise. They say. Wait a miracle. There's literally nothing more certain than the sun rises. When the sun rises every day. And it. Oh, so I thought that was funny this month.
01;18;23;07 - 01;18;38;29
That's so funny. But yeah, when he drinks, it just hangs out there for a minute. Wait for when a friend to drop his sister and grab him instead of running. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, by the way, then Danny gets kidnaped one more time in this movie, like it's on Earth. It's like he's like, what are you doing?
01;18;39;01 - 01;19;01;23
So they they put her in the circle of salt, and she's just like, I got better things to do. She's like, let me go help the zombie who is already dead. Yeah, they hold on in the back. And that was funny. Guess. Yeah. And then, Yeah. And then Winifred, you know, they set it up earlier. It's the Chekhov's gun of of laws.
01;19;01;25 - 01;19;22;28
And they said, that the cemetery is hallowed ground for witches. So before the sun even explodes her, she turns to stone because she steps on the again, stubborn Harry. Yep. Okay. That's why she turned to stone. And the other one's just kind of. Okay. Yeah. And then the beams of light. Yeah. And then she got shot as the sun was there, you know.
01;19;22;28 - 01;19;43;21
So she kind of got, like, a double. Yeah. That was a really bad statue. Double kill. You know what's funny? You said they could have done that. Noticed. Well in that close up when they do it I agree it looks kind of rough. But then they have a wider shot and it looks at the same statue. Yeah, it looks really good actually.
01;19;43;23 - 01;20;06;15
Comparatively. yeah. And then that's it. And then one thing though, at the end when Binx, you know, they're freaking out because like, Binx is dead because there's no witches to maintain that curse. But then the ghost comes back to kind of like, make Danny feel better. And he's like, you freed me, Danny. Did she know? What did she do?
01;20;06;17 - 01;20;26;26
What did. Danny. What do you mean? Oh, I see what. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was like you said. He was trying to make her feel better. Oh, yeah? Because the cat's body was dead. Yeah. Let's just. Let's just let's give every have let's give every kid a trophy, you know? Let's lose it when I get it. Yeah. So that's the culture we're living in.
01;20;26;28 - 01;20;48;29
Well, he's got his whole thing because, like, you know, Emily was his sister. Yeah, she was the same age. And so he kind of like, he's got that, that brotherly thing. And he just was helping her and. Yeah. Yeah, the cat, like should have, like decomposed right there. I just don't I don't support this. I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna die on this.
01;20;48;29 - 01;21;20;10
So Danny doesn't deserve this closure. Well, then they shouldn't have gone into the Devil's house. yeah. Okay, guys. So that is hocus pocus. Yeah. Yeah, right. Have you guys ever seen the porno version of this movie? No. What's it called? But I, But now I want to watch what so focused. Hocus Pocus showcase. Hocus pocus focus focus focus.
01;21;20;12 - 01;21;45;23
Hocus pocus to focus. Focus. Yeah. Joker's pocus, it's just Gary and Penny Marshall. no. You know what? That's a good one, though. Since you guys are so set on the fact that he has sex parties. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. what would the name of this is? Actually the sex tape that he produced? It's Gary, so Hocus pocus joke is hocus.
01;21;45;25 - 01;22;17;28
Yeah, yeah. A swallowing porno special. that's what it looks like. It is a thing is what's it called? Hocus pocus. Pocus? Hocus pocus. But they didn't get that great tagline. Yeah. The song. Oh, no. Maybe. Maybe that's a no. Me. No, it's a drag show. okay. Okay. All right. Well, do you guys want to go over our favorite reveals of Hocus Pocus?
01;22;18;00 - 01;22;26;13
Let's do Hocus Pocus. The one where the devil puts where, Clark puts his Clark bar. Never mind.
01;22;26;16 - 01;22;45;02
Oh. Hold on here. Oh, please. Anyone? That's how they can. You. They're under the goddamn bar.
01;22;45;04 - 01;23;07;13
My favorite reveal is the party at Town hall. Because I like the song. Okay. It's fun. Yeah. It's classic. Iconic. The dad in this movie. Oh, daddy, he's in Dumb and Dumber. He's. Yeah, he's a bad guy. And Dumb and Dumber. He's hot. Yeah. And he's really funny, too. Like, I like how, like they're going out to the.
01;23;07;15 - 01;23;27;14
They're making him go trick or treating and the mom's like, say cheese or something. And he just like, you know, what does he say that cheese. I know he's just very like, goofy. He's just is, you know. Yeah. yeah. He's a very much like a dad. Like he. I think he hour is about to begin. Yeah, it's very fun, but,
01;23;27;17 - 01;23;50;08
But. Okay, the party guests at, at the town hall is your favorite. Yeah, it's a good one. Okay. Danny, what do you got? My favorite reveal of this movie is when the trio of sisters comes back after the black flame candles lit class. Okay, you mentioned all of those, really fun practical effects and the green lights and the jumping floorboards.
01;23;50;08 - 01;24;09;02
I love that stuff. It reminded or reminded me of, like Beetlejuice, you know, like when they draw the door to the green lights or something like, that kind of stuff always gets me cause I feel like I'm in one of those, like, Halloween fun houses, for sure. That's what I love about the holiday. Yeah. Oh, it's a little touches.
01;24;09;05 - 01;24;32;21
Yeah. The vibe. What about you, Zach? so I personally I want to go with the honorable mention of Billy Butcher sin. just because I laughed out loud when he, like, he gets up and like, I've seen that image. A lot of him. Like sitting in the grave. Yeah. so I'm pretty familiar with that. But I loved when he turned around and saw his headstone and it was, like, disappointed.
01;24;32;21 - 01;24;52;24
He was like, oh, fuck, that's him. So but that is an honorable mention and not a full reveal, so I'm not going to go with that one. I'm going to go with, Danny, the same as you when they like the, the Black Flame candle and the sisters come back for the first time. It's pretty, because it's pretty cool, even though they do just, like, kind of come in the front door.
01;24;52;26 - 01;25;14;16
Yeah, yeah. Like the everything is pretty cool. You can almost. It's also power move too. It's like they just walked into the front door, you know. Yeah that's true. But also the Casey's boy, everyone's walking into the front doors, so it's just kind of on. Seems true. Yeah. All right, well, now it's time for a segment that we like to call the real monster.
01;25;18;08 - 01;25;45;18
Run, run, run as fast as you can, okay? I'm the gingerbread man monster. I'm not the monster. Here you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale crash poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others? Eat me. You're. Mine's pretty simple, guys. I bet you can guess what it is. It's uninvited guests. That's good.
01;25;45;21 - 01;26;06;13
Yeah, yeah, especially on Halloween. Dude, my. When we were kids, like, my mom wouldn't even let my friends walk in the house. No. No fucking. That's what I mean. Like, she would be, like, absolutely not. She's like, they will knock on the door and we will come answer the door. You know, my mom just was very like, no one's here when I'm not here.
01;26;06;13 - 01;26;27;12
Like, sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, but we did it anyway. But she always knew somehow we stepped foot in the house. Even if they were gone an hour before she got home. I bet she could smell. She's like ice. Oh, those are. Yeah. My mom's like Cody. Josh was here, wasn't he?
01;26;27;14 - 01;26;48;10
Okay. So uninvited guests. That's a good one. I mean, that is a monster, but. Yeah. Danny, do you want to go next? You want me to go next? Yeah. No, I've got two. I've got a handful. Not as good as Casey's, though. one of the real monsters on my list is people who say, check out the new cross trainers.
01;26;48;12 - 01;27;10;13
It's like, what is there? It was like he was last year. I don't know, it's not like, check out like the new Jordans like that, but cool. In 93. Yeah. Oh, no, the word cross. It sounds so nerdy and I do. I mean, well, I guess you'd have to wear your cross trainers with your, Charlotte Hornets. Fucking track.
01;27;10;14 - 01;27;28;11
Yeah, those ones that, like, went over your head. Remember, everybody had one of those. That makes more sense. But but were everywhere. It's there's too much. Yeah. It doesn't even know what sport they're saying. Why these bullies care about that. Why do they know the cross I don't know, it doesn't work. Yeah. Thackeray's dad for kicking a cat.
01;27;28;13 - 01;27;54;01
Oh, you did piss me off. Not only was it a summer, it was. Oh, yeah. Like it called it a beast. Yeah, like, take it easy. It's a cat. Like. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucked up. Oh, whoever added this to the thine own tongue to the potion recipe I like. You can't do the spell potion until you bite off part of your tongue and spit it in the thing.
01;27;54;03 - 01;28;10;01
Oh, God, I don't know, like you're a witch, I am. Soon you have, like, a jar of tongues. Why does have to be your own? yeah, I don't know. That was pretty gross. Like, they all lined up and they were pretty gross, right? Yeah. Really gross. yeah. Something different of the tongue was it? Must have in the back.
01;28;10;03 - 01;28;41;00
Oh, it hurts just a little. Oh, no. No, I, hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I do, and my last one is kind of a general real monster. And it's people who are like skeptics but are very vocal about it in front of people who are passionate about what you're skeptical about. So in the opening when we're first introduced him and he's so anti Halloween, and when he's in Salem, Massachusetts, in Salem it's the day it is Halloween.
01;28;41;00 - 01;29;04;04
Everyone's excited and he just like can't just shut the fuck up. Yeah. he's like give me a break. It's like okay you're new here. Like we wouldn't come over there. And if you had a class on like, surf boarding, no wonder the bullies want your cross strainers. Yeah, like he's a dick. yeah. So. Yeah, that. Those are my four fingers.
01;29;04;05 - 01;29;33;14
Yeah, absolutely. Like, don't rain on our parade, newbie. Yeah, exactly. We're having fun. Fucker. okay, I have to say, I've got, And, you know, this is pretty much on theme for this movie, which is a little creepy, but, the dad, for kissing a high schooler when he meets Allison, he takes her hand. And I know it's, like, innocent and kind of like, old is Karen.
01;29;33;14 - 01;29;52;23
And he was like this, and he was like, Yeah. Could you, like, grabbed your hand and like, he kisses it. I'm like, Maybe not. Maybe just. Yeah. He should have kissed her on the mouth. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It's a proper. Yeah. Proper. Hello. In that scenario it's fucking tongue down the throat. Oh control girl it's Jesus.
01;29;52;26 - 01;30;20;19
He's always crossing lines and it's crossing lines. and, and my second real monster is boiling lobsters. Yeah, that also is, boiling them alive at least. Yeah. Well, yeah, because I think that's just how they do it. And, I've seen it like Gordon Ramsay. I've seen him do. Or they have a special thing where you put the knife through the head and it's very quick, and they die instantly.
01;30;20;22 - 01;30;43;27
Yeah. so obviously if you don't eat meat, it's disturbing. Regardless, I think if you eat meat, it's disturbing killing it. I am like, man, I am so torn in my head and body about me eating because I know I do it. I eat meat all the time, every day, but when I think about it, it makes me cringe and I just want to stop.
01;30;43;27 - 01;31;09;24
But then it's, I don't know, like, well, it's kind of like anything where you face the reality when you see how the sausage gets made, so to speak. I mean, I was visiting Cody's family, and they hunt sometimes, you know, and. Yeah, but hunting is even a different story. It is. But they had they have this, like, garage area and they were like, Danny, you probably don't want to come in here because they know, oh, do they have deer hanging upside down, deer hanging.
01;31;09;24 - 01;31;27;06
And they were talking about like, yeah, you know, we're just skinning it and like, oh, I get it. That's just how it's done. But the way I think it was my fantasy and not my fantasy like my imagination, like what was going on in my head of what I was picturing was like them, like cutting open this poor animal.
01;31;27;08 - 01;31;48;18
Like it's eyes are just, like, still open, as though, like pulling the skin off of its flesh. And I was like, oh God, I don't want anything. yeah. I mean, I only eat chicken, which I don't even really like doing. Does it make me feel bad? But I definitely don't eat beef or pork. I would eat venison because it's the most humane.
01;31;48;20 - 01;32;11;11
I mean, they're not. My problem with the meat industry is just that we are literally raising these animals to kill them and eat them. Yeah, yeah. When you hunt, they still have live. They're not they're live their natural lives out in their natural environment. Totally. They don't know what's coming. And then more often than not put out in the misery pretty wild is going to be eaten at some point or another.
01;32;11;12 - 01;32;35;13
Right? Right. And so I don't have like a problem with hunting at all, and that doesn't bother me, but it's just the fact that we raise them to be killed. And, you know, I'm totally with you. And that is also I don't think I've gone far. And, I mean, I know I haven't gone far enough as, like, you know, someone who eats meat in terms of, like, making sure I'm going the most, humane route.
01;32;35;16 - 01;32;54;16
But I've had this up myself quite a bit. but yeah, I also try just to eat chicken and fish, but every now and then I throw also nasty in there. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's like I'll see a truck driving down the road with like, cattle in it. Yeah. And like, you lock eyes with the cows and you're just like.
01;32;54;24 - 01;33;12;20
And then you oh my God, you cry a little bit and then you're like, oh what's for dinner. Oh let's go to, go to, let's go get a steak. Let's go get a burger. And it's like, it affects me so deeply for like, a few moments. Yeah. And then it's like, and then it happens again and I'm like, oh, I got to stop.
01;33;12;22 - 01;33;44;22
Yeah. it's it's just Crazy Horse. That's my just discourse. And I still need to see some go around. They do that in in Italy. Oh do that horse and dog. Oh God. all right. So moving on. our latest segment. Would you survive the Sanderson sisters? And here we go. I'm a whore. You're a whore. I'm a whore.
01;33;44;22 - 01;34;09;16
Yeah. I don't think any of I think are. No, I mean, I think all of us would survive. We're all, We're not virgins. Non virgins. Zach, unfortunately, is in the morning anymore. But I get there from time to time. I just. It's not like my 20s and early 30s. But, yeah, we would all live. Yeah, we'd be fine.
01;34;09;18 - 01;34;30;04
Okay. Yeah, that was easy. Yep. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Would. This is the one. This is the one time in a horror movie where we've had sex and we live because we've. That's true. It's true. Instead of, is this the best progressive horror movie ever made? Except in 1993? I don't think any of us had had sex yet.
01;34;30;04 - 01;34;50;09
That's a good point. So us. All right. So yeah, okay, I like that. So in 1903, when the witches did come back, would we stand a chance again? But also, yes, because they didn't get anybody. Like that's fair, but we don't. Yeah. Okay. So here's the thing. So it's only us three. There is no Max, no Allison, no Danny.
01;34;50;14 - 01;35;10;00
Maybe we'll have we have banks. Why wouldn't banks be there? So how old were you in 1993? I was in or. That's five. I was seven and I would have just turned five. So we've got a four year old, a five year old and a seven year old. So I was like, I was close to Danny's age. You were the leader.
01;35;10;03 - 01;35;32;27
Yeah. Come on, you're our leader. in that case, we're all dead. Yeah, I think we're all dead. But, Yeah. No, because I think even if we did get our hands on a some some source of fire to even light the candle, let alone how are we? Where are our parents? Why are they just. Yeah. Are they all.
01;35;33;01 - 01;35;56;12
They're all there at the Eyes Wide Shut party at Allison. Oh, they're in town hall, right? Yeah. Who's babysitting us? Like, what's happening? yeah. I think if anyone was going to sneak past babysitters at seven years old, I probably wouldn't even go into that broken down cobweb spider infested me. Yeah, I feel like I'm surprised by that, Zach.
01;35;56;12 - 01;36;12;08
I feel like because I think I would, too. And as someone who likes horror, I could see you. Oh, man. When I was. When I was six years old, we lived in this brick house. I had this giant abandoned building next to it. I got in trouble, like every fucking day for going into that building. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, I was.
01;36;12;08 - 01;36;31;04
You have to stay out of there. I was like, I never like to get in trouble as a kid. I didn't either. But my mom didn't. I was so, drawn by I would love to sneak into things like if there was an abandoned, if it was something spooky. yeah. Let's go. I'm gonna be scared the whole time, but.
01;36;31;10 - 01;36;54;21
Yeah, but when you were five, Danny. Oh, so six when I was doing that. Okay, if I was with a group, I think I might be more inclined at five. Maybe it's pushing it, but, I remember my grandmother used to own this coffee shop in Cape Cod, and there was this house, on or adjacent, like, connected to the property.
01;36;54;24 - 01;37;21;11
And it was the most textbook haunted house, like, truly abandoned, like it was so scary. And we would, sometimes sneak in my new house during the day, so. Okay. But we would, despite how scared I was, and I was very scared, we would still, Yeah, yeah. And I was 11 or 12, and I lived next to a cemetery, and there was an abandoned house in the cemetery.
01;37;21;11 - 01;37;48;12
That's for that. That's awesome. Okay, so Zach, you are the oldest, but I think Casey would be the leader. Is she there for you later? So come on, guys. Hell yeah. Dude. So, yeah, Casey and Danny would survive through Cassie's leadership, I would perish. She was five, six, seven year old body. His corpse just like, Well, I should probably get home.
01;37;48;14 - 01;38;09;13
okay, you guys, that's hocus pocus. That is hocus pocus. And that is our halfway to Halloween triple feature. So. Yeah. So we did it, trick. We treated. We didn't get defeated. That's right. Except for Zach. Except for Zach.
01;38;09;15 - 01;38;40;01
okay, so that was fun. Flatliners. Terrifier, Hocus Pocus. Thank you again to anyone who joined us for our Halloween H2O watch along. That was a lot of fun. you guys, what? Our next triple feature needs to be announced. Yeah, it does now. Now. Oh my God. And I'm just going to do it. I feel like we're going to have a really nice library of movies to choose from.
01;38;40;03 - 01;39;15;29
Ooh, I agree the catalog. The card catalog. but. no, I agree because I find it with the Dewey Decimal System. We're going to be the author of our own demise. Oh, yes. because our latest triple feature is writers shock. Wait, don't you mean writer's block? No, Danny, I mean writers shock. Because we're shocked. They're scared?
01;39;16;02 - 01;39;41;22
Yeah, like they're scared. our next show will feature all deals with authors and their books. Scary books. Our first feature in our writers shock triple feature will be none other than John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness. First time. Watch for me. Very excited. we're very excited about this one. It was recommended to us, by a frequent listener.
01;39;41;22 - 01;40;04;28
Zane, this is our first movie based on a listener recommendation. And so we are very. Oh, that's so exciting. to Zane for sending in that request for In the Mouth of Madness. I love this movie. I'm super excited to cover it. And, so thank you, Zane. Thanks. A what are our other what are the other two movies we're covering in this triple feature?
01;40;05;01 - 01;40;33;15
Our second will be Mike Flanagan's Hush. okay. Okay. I have never seen hush. hush. I've heard good things. I've heard very good things. Hush, hush hush. I'm so, so sorry. I've heard really good things about hush. Speak up, speak up so we can hear you. Speak up. Factories, Factory. So that's exciting. Danny, what about you?
01;40;33;15 - 01;40;59;16
What's your pick for our writers? my pick for the writers shock triple feature is Ken Russell's Gothic, which is kind of, from what I hear is kind of a more cerebral retelling of, the night that Mary Shelley came up with the concept for Frankenstein. The book. Okay. Or as, and you, scholars might say novel.
01;40;59;18 - 01;41;23;13
And we like Ken Russell on this show. We do, we do have, we did, layer of the white layer, the white worm. Yeah. So I'm excited. I'm actually very, Ken Russell's filmography is kind of a blind spot for me. So when you introduce this triple feature, Zach, I saw that this movie existed. It got really excited because I loved the idea of The White Worm, and I was like, I don't even want to know too much about it.
01;41;23;16 - 01;41;42;02
Put it on the list. and I remember I remember the VHS cover in the video store when I was a kid for Gothic with that, like, creepy person, like sitting on on the bed. Yeah, kind of like like a little goblin, which I think is based on, like, a real painting. It's like the nightmare or something like that.
01;41;42;04 - 01;42;05;26
Okay. okay. So that is very exciting. I am looking forward to that. but thank you again for joining us on our Halfway to Halloween triple feature. make sure to follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, anywhere you get your podcasts, and you can find us on social media at how I Met Your Monster on Instagram, TikTok x Facebook.
01;42;05;26 - 01;42;32;15
All those, where can our listeners find you guys on social media? I am on Instagram at Wolf Mother Casey. Awesome. Danny. I am on various social media platforms. my name Danny slim, that's Danny. Sally. Me that's two memes. Like the candy melt in your butt, not in your hands. Perfect. Wonderful. And, you can find me on social media at Zach.
01;42;32;21 - 01;43;02;29
Sick. Danny, what would a Clark bar do in your butt? Oh, well, you're dealing with more mass, so the time between insertion and melting is extended between that. Oh, you've also got, like, the wafers inside. Yeah. You also, but you don't have the thick candy shell of an Eminem. No. And you have to be careful because if the wafer snaps.
01;43;03;01 - 01;43;26;01
Yeah. Oof! Wait. There's a weight inside of a Clark bar. I want to Clark bar. Not good. Yeah. You do ever had one? Yeah. You do. You know what a Clark bar is? It's a dick in one ball. one ball. So where's the other one? It's Clark Kent, the other. The other ball is Kent. hey, some bar ball.
01;43;26;02 - 01;44;32;10
And that's okay. We don't all shame on this part. We don't know, or can't change. All right, well, thank you again for listening, and we will see you next time for Writer Shock. Now, go meet some monsters. Have been perfect. Wow. No, no, we'll never get that right. No.