Kicking off our ROTTEN EGGS triple feature, we’re screwed six ways to Easter Sunday as we meet an extraterrestrial infestation of Krites in Mick Garris’ CRITTERS 2, starring Scott Grimes, Liane Curtis, Terrence Mann, Don Keith Opper, Roxanne Kernohan, Lin Shaye, Sam Anderson, and Tom Hodges.
Kicking off our ROTTEN EGGS triple feature, we’re screwed six ways to Easter Sunday as we meet an extraterrestrial infestation of Krites in Mick Garris’ CRITTERS 2, starring Scott Grimes, Liane Curtis, Terrence Mann, Don Keith Opper, Roxanne Kernohan, Lin Shaye, Sam Anderson, and Tom Hodges.
Reddit Article: HOW CRITTERS 2 IS A TRANSGENDER NARRATIVE
Medium Article: CRITTERS 2 IS AN ACCIDENTAL GENDERFLUID FABLE
00;00;00;00 - 00;00;34;12
Today we kick off our next triple feature with Mick Garris. 1988 Easter Feaster Creature Feature. The colored eggs are hatching. The three balls are rolling, and the quiet town of Grover's Bend is screwed. Six Ways to Easter Sunday as we meet an extraterrestrial infestation of crates in critters two. Welcome to how I Met Your Monster, the show where we discuss the introductions to your favorite movie monsters.
00;00;34;16 - 00;01;00;22
Today, we're kicking off a brand new triple feature about eggs rotten eggs. Oh, to be specific. Eggs. All I want is eggs. Eggs, eggs. Excellent. You guys. Great. Yeah. Today we are covering what is just one of, maybe a small handful of Easter themed horror movies. I wouldn't say any of them are Easter themed.
00;01;00;24 - 00;01;19;01
This one takes place on Easter. Well, technically, a zombie movie is like an Easter movie. It's true. Coming back from the dead. Yeah, if you want to. If you want to say anything with eggs has to do with Easter, then that's true. What's your favorite non Easter egg movie? That may as well be an Easter movie because it's an egg movie.
00;01;19;03 - 00;01;39;16
Aliens. It's a good one. I like the little little woodpecker thing in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure that cracks that egg in his little breakfast contraption at the beginning. Oh see that would count. So yours is Pee-Wee? Yeah. So do you think does this mean that every hardboiled detective movie is an egg movie and is their monster movie?
00;01;39;17 - 00;02;04;20
Danny. So all film noir movies are. But does that mean Easter movies? I mean, the the mimic is also. Yeah. This is a deep cut because of Dick Roach. Gross. He's out a hardboiled detective. He's a detective. So mimic, is there for an Easter movie. Oh my God, yeah. And Cronos is a Christmas movie. Gerald El Toro just needs to do one more holiday movie.
00;02;04;20 - 00;02;27;14
And he's got a little trifecta. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Yeah, we got there. Guys, we're talking about critters two, the main course, and I did not remember. It's been a while since I've seen this. I didn't remember, like, how much Easter was in this movie. Yeah. Yeah, I like I knew the whole bunny thing at the church, but, like, it's just full on Easter.
00;02;27;14 - 00;02;47;18
I didn't realize, but I do remember the crate eggs. Yes. I always wanted the eggs as a kid. I thought they looked really fun. Yeah. So did you pick the second one specifically because it took place on Easter? Yeah. And we were doing egg movies. Well, I know, but do they not come from eggs in the first movie?
00;02;47;20 - 00;03;06;18
I see what you're saying. Yes. It was. I chose critters two specifically over critters one because of Easter. Not that I don't celebrate Easter. I don't, I mean, don't you don't love Jesus. So what can you tell us about your obsession with Easter? You don't love the fact that Jesus died for your sins and then came back as a zombie three days later?
00;03;06;20 - 00;03;33;28
Dude. No, it doesn't matter to you that, you don't celebrate Easter. And, I mean, we celebrate the Easter Bunny, which is probably a sin, but, I got a question for you. Do rabbits lay eggs? Yeah. Okay. Thank you. They do? Yep. Oh. Oh, they don't know. They they. Cadbury eggs. They're mammals. Oh. I need to go back to science class.
00;03;33;28 - 00;03;55;29
There is the mammals. Yeah. Okay, so mammals don't lay eggs. Gotcha. But they eat them. Sorry. Okay, well, a little science lesson today. Yeah. How I met you. Okay. Now do they have multiple bunnies at a time? Do they have like like, what do they call that. Yes. They have a litter litter. I think a lot of people don't know.
00;03;55;29 - 00;04;13;21
So bunnies don't stop giving birth. It just keeps baby bunnies just keep coming out. Every time they hop a little and mom's like, I wish I had eggs so I wouldn't have to deal. I wouldn't have to feed so many mouths so quickly. And then someone's like, oh my God, my rabbits talking. How did we get here? I don't know.
00;04;13;26 - 00;04;35;04
Why don't we get here more often? That's true. Yeah. So if you want to, make sure you keep up with all of our tangents on how I Met Your Monster. Make sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your podcasts. And, you'll never miss any more of our wonderful science lessons. I mean, Casey here talks to us about science.
00;04;35;04 - 00;04;39;06
Dan talks to us a.
00;04;39;08 - 00;04;55;08
Gotta send Zach to a linguistics class. Dan, I call you Dan all the time. I know, I think that's why I'm starting to do it. Yeah, I have a death list right next to me. It's off screen. You can't see it right now. And every. And it's only has your guys's names. And I just put a check next to it every time I get called.
00;04;55;13 - 00;05;16;02
Dan, I asked you. You said it's fine. I said it was fine, but that doesn't mean you're not on my death list, so it's fine. I did okay. Fair enough. See? Just like this one. You don't want to miss this. We do this every episode. I threaten them with their lives. Yeah. So make sure to subscribe to the show, wherever you get your podcasts.
00;05;16;10 - 00;05;36;09
And, if you guys are not subscribed to Fangoria, do it on your discount shop. That fangoria.com promo code. How I Met Your Monster. You get 20% off Fangoria. And in the process you will help support how I Met Your Monster. So check that out. If you're looking for a little Easter gift, I don't know, might be too late.
00;05;36;11 - 00;05;59;00
Imagine waking up. I don't even know any serious you being a kid. And you get your Easter basket. And there's just a fuckin fat stack of Fangoria issues. Fuck yeah, that would be cool. That's an Easter bunny that loves you. And a Jesus is Jesus. Leave the Easter baskets. No. The Easter Bunny leaves the eggs and the basket.
00;05;59;01 - 00;06;13;15
Jesus leaves the map to the eggs. They work in cahoots. But if you woke up too early, it's one thing to see, like wake up on Christmas Eve and or Christmas morning and you see Santa. But imagine you saw this guy in a robe and a beard. He just. It's like holding a map to eggs. You're like, what the.
00;06;13;16 - 00;06;35;04
No, that's a that's actually that's actually incorrect. He actually squeezes the exact he he birthed the eggs. So, wait, Jesus are the bunny Jesus. He just slaps the Easter bunny, brings the baskets, and then Jesus squats over the batch like he was in the tomb in the Bible because he was incubating the eggs. That's right. In the three days.
00;06;35;07 - 00;06;50;27
That's right. That scene in The Shining towards the end, where he like going, he's going around and all the ghosts are like showing themselves. And you see, like the one dude in, like, the bear mask blowing the other dude. Yeah. That's. Jesus and the Easter bunny. When you wake up in the middle of the night and you see them.
00;06;51;05 - 00;07;15;01
Oh, that's how they make the eggs. Those are the eggs you made. Oh, okay. So he. Jesus blows the Easter Bunny, and then the Easter Bunny comes and sprays the eggs everywhere. No, no. How is how in that scenario, did we. Is Jesus not the man? Not in the costume? No. Because. Because, you know, it's a real bunny.
00;07;15;01 - 00;07;36;28
Danny. It's a real bunny. Oh, so he's a Jesus costume? No, Jesus is a real man. The Easter Bunny is a real, real bunny. That is real. Jesus, man gives a shit bunny to the real bunny. Episode is correct, but the bunny comes in his mouth and he swallows it. And then he makes the eggs. And then the eggs.
00;07;37;05 - 00;08;00;06
Got it. So it is so that makes sense. So because it reminds you of aliens, Xenomorphs also plant seeds orally. Yeah. And little did you know Jesus when he was born. He had all the eggs in his body that he was ever gonna need. It's all that. Yep. See, this makes sense. See? How come they don't lead with this in Bible studies?
00;08;00;08 - 00;08;19;22
He just walk in there like a picture of, like you just see, like, eggs and like arrows pointing to a person. And it's like the whole, like, birthing process. Like the fuck is. It's like religion. Yeah, well, it's all about life, you know, as soon as, like, Sunday school, when you go in, all you do is you see a dead guy hanging on a piece of wood.
00;08;19;24 - 00;08;42;29
That's true. And it's, they just fucking focus on the death and not the not wonderful story of life and Easter eggs. Guys, let's talk about critters. Yeah, but why? You shouldn't talk about this all day. Yeah. No. Of course. I mean, you call the triple feature eggs, and you're not expecting us to just go on a bunch of tangent.
00;08;43;01 - 00;09;18;02
Get do it with everything. Do it. It's not going to work. Sorry. You can't do everything, but, Okay. If you're still listening, you are listening for a reason. Because you wanted to talk about critters, too. Written and directed by Mick Garris. It was Mick Garris first feature film. He was he got this opportunity because he was writing screenplays for the series Amazing Stories, which was an anthology series directed by people like Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, the Martin Scorsese.
00;09;18;04 - 00;09;41;07
I think directed one. And so he eventually, Mick Garris eventually got the opportunity to, make his own movie. I don't know how like you did he, like, choose to do a sequel to critters or did they? Yeah. I've seen I feel like horror sequels are a safe bet for new filmmakers, so, That's true. That's true. Well, I guess my question is, like, I wonder if he like, wrote critters two and then, like, presented it to somebody and was like, hey, I want to do this.
00;09;41;07 - 00;09;58;09
Or if they were like, hey, let's make a sequel to critters. Who can we hire to do this? And they chose Mick Garris based on his screenplays for Amazing Stories. Do you know what I mean? What came first, the chicken or the egg? What came first? The Easter bunny. Bunny or the or the eggs? Looking for Jesus and the egg.
00;09;58;12 - 00;10;22;04
Were there eggs around when Jesus was alive? No, no. Just bunnies. I don't think so. He was holding them in there like, hey, Jesus, can we have some eggs? And he's like, now, not until Easter. Not yet. But the Romans really wanted, eggs. So why they fucked in the butt so much? Is that with the Casey?
00;10;22;07 - 00;10;48;21
That's why they killed Jesus. To get his eggs. Oh, I'm just going to do a little side of that cross. Sorry, you guys, it's all in good fun. Jesus knows we're joking. Jesus is literally laughing his ass off. Don't don't laugh too hard, though. Anyway, what explains no ass, no eggs? Oh my God. Critters two was filmed in Santa Clarita, California.
00;10;48;23 - 00;11;08;25
Oh. Was it? Yeah. Wait. And, I don't know if, Yeah. Danny, I don't know if you watch that show, but I know Casey had watched Santa Clarita Diet using it with Santa Cruz. Weirdly, Santa Lost Boys. Right? Yeah. This was actually filmed on the boardwalk and the whole town is CGI. They just created the whole 88.
00;11;08;28 - 00;11;30;16
That's how you keep hearing the roller coaster in the background. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. But you know what? Like, I want to talk about for a second. And, Danny, you might have some things to say about this. Okay, so film critics. Right. Siskel and Ebert, Siskel and Ebert, when this movie came out, like, just trashed it.
00;11;30;19 - 00;11;55;18
Right. And I saw, a clip of that. Well, like the clip where they reviewed this movie and how they were saying it was it was lame. And, it just like all around was just bad filmmaking. And Siskel said he was talking about the difference between creators wanting creators to. And he said he said now the difference between creators one and creators two.
00;11;55;20 - 00;12;13;01
And aren't we glad that we're in our 40s and we know the difference between critters one and critters two? And I was just like, you suck. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was just like, you know, I don't like to speak. We're too old for, But, yeah, for horror movies. And then just because it's. That doesn't mean he wasn't an asshole.
00;12;13;02 - 00;12;38;27
Yeah, look how we're talking about Jesus. That's true. And that time has passed. And no time. Yeah. Siskel. I went through a phase where I was watching a lot of Ebert, Siskel and Ebert reviews, like the, Siskel and Ebert go to the movies on YouTube. Yes. Let's go. Was always it's like his head was a little bit up his, egg hole egg.
00;12;39;00 - 00;13;05;25
Oh, I love that. Just they got kind of annoying because they were very pick and choose. Sometimes they would like movies and they would find a reason in the to like it in the same way we might, you know, like a lot of horror fans can, like, justify bad effects or maybe like, acting that isn't, Oscar friendly or, you know, level or whatever.
00;13;05;27 - 00;13;23;07
And then sometimes they would trash that exact type of movie. So it was so that's why I, I think film criticism is important. I think all art criticism is important. Art is subjective. It is beautiful that we get to talk about it and then leave it up to, you know, the masses to decide whether or not they like it.
00;13;23;10 - 00;13;47;29
With that said, I never could quite wrap my head around why gene Siskel always had such, an aversion to horror. Well, Ebert was a little better with it, but not always. Here's a question to that point. Yes. I think, like you said, I agree it's important that we talk about we have discussions about movies and things.
00;13;47;29 - 00;14;06;03
But, when you're so, you know, Rotten Tomatoes comes to mind because you said, like, we talk about it and then leave it up to the masses to decide. Well, Rotten Tomatoes comes around and people depend. The masses will go to it and say, like, oh, critics didn't like this. I'm not going to see it, which is complete bullshit.
00;14;06;10 - 00;14;23;22
And it's what makes them worthy of of saying whether a movie is. Yeah, and so it's like film critics, you know, I feel like there should be like, well, this is kind of like, these are some elements to it, and you might like this, or you might like this, or you might not like it. If you don't like this, you might not like it if you don't like this, but right.
00;14;23;22 - 00;14;46;00
To just be a film critic and be like, this movie sucks. It's garbage. Don't waste your time. I feel like it's like, enemy to art. Yeah. Instead of like, because somebody who might actually enjoy the movie, it might be persuaded, to not see it because a critic was like, this movie sucks. Don't watch it. Yeah.
00;14;46;00 - 00;15;09;16
It's also the way that Rotten Tomatoes works is just kind of fundamentally flawed, because if it has a 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, which they will mark as rotten. That means 50% of people loved it. So it's like you then have to consider but it's still not a good movie. Yeah. Like with anything you should kind of decide.
00;15;09;23 - 00;15;42;22
First of all look it you know it's like they always say like you know mind your mouth. They don't say mind your sources, but like check your sources and yeah. So who is leaving the review. Look at their other reviews. Look at where they're coming from. You know what I mean. It does have a feature where it's like you can separate all critics from top critics, which that doesn't mean anything, but maybe you have someone who's has more of like a thorough review or as a little bit more clout, which again, I'm like kind of saying these things and then sort of walking it back because it also doesn't really mean anything.
00;15;42;24 - 00;16;03;08
Yeah. Just instead of I mean, who am I? I'm talking to avoid now because, well, it's, I mean, it's it's a very complicated topic. Like there's not like a answer, but I just was I just wanted to bring it up because it, it sometimes rubs me the wrong way. Well, also to your point of like, film criticism of people, a movie comes out and then someone is like, this sucks.
00;16;03;11 - 00;16;26;08
There's so many movies that get sort of brought back into the conversation, maybe like 10 or 20 plus years after it was released. And there's this weird following or adoration toward it. And then there will be this I think piece that comes out. It's like, actually, this movie's the greatest, or how did we sleep on so-and-so? Or what?
00;16;26;10 - 00;16;44;07
You know, like the the critics were wrong, but that's like how art is treated generally in all respects, where it's like, you don't realize how good it is until time has passed and, you know, it's marinated. It's kind of like we realized what it meant at the time when it came out, or who made it and why it was important.
00;16;44;10 - 00;17;05;24
And sometimes it's like close to impossible to kind of realize that when it's just you're in the moment. So that's also and it's also frustrating also, I think like you're coming at it from the perspective of a filmmaker who's like, you put all this work and money into and someone's just going to walk in, have an opinion, and it'll have so much, right.
00;17;05;25 - 00;17;30;16
It holds so much weight in terms of like how successful or unsuccessful the movie ends up being. Yeah, yeah. Like you could lose half your audience or more that of people who would potentially see it because one guy who I don't know has didn't get it, he just didn't get it. Or, you know, I guess, like, how do you get to be someone on the level of, like, Siskel and Ebert?
00;17;30;18 - 00;17;52;29
Yeah. You know, I mean, like the right to do that. Yeah. Like, how do you like what makes your point of view better than somebody else's? Yeah. That you have this stage where you can tell the masses, you know, I think they came at it from more of like a film historian perspective. Like we've seen every movie. We just know it on a scholarly level, which is fine.
00;17;53;01 - 00;18;20;07
But it's again, you are holding someone's career in your hands and is a bad review. Worse someone else's like entire career failure or livelihood. And right it is. It's a it's a it's an interesting conversation and it's hard because like, you can't silence people. Like that's the beauty of free speech. It's like if you have an opinion, it's it's, it's, it's messy.
00;18;20;10 - 00;18;55;20
Yeah, yeah. Maybe, maybe you shouldn't be. Maybe you need to have a you need to get a license to be a film critic. That's a good idea. A license to kill my movie and to to be a film critic. You have to have made so many films yourself. That's a good point. So, yeah, if you've never made a movie that you're going to trash them, there are also, I will say, like there are some critics that I've seen that are very fair, and you can see it in the reviews, which again, is an an unfortunate thing because the way that Rotten Tomatoes determines what is a negative review versus a positive one is also
00;18;55;20 - 00;19;21;02
in itself skewed. Skewed. Is that the word I'm looking for? Sure. No, but you get what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Fuck you on tomatoes. Yeah. That's it. Okay. Well, you know what they say. Come for the Jesus slang Easter eggs talk and stay for the in-depth conversation on film criticism. Yeah. You can't make a movie without cracking a few eggs, you know?
00;19;21;04 - 00;19;47;08
Yeah. Okay. Well, regardless of what Siskel and Ebert thought of critters two, I had a fun time with it. Me too. Silly. It was just silly. It's like, it's a fun horror sequel to a rip off of Gremlins. Basically, this movie reminded you of Gremlins. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it had, like, a, like, a tinge, tinge of Gremlins s ness sickness.
00;19;47;10 - 00;20;18;22
That's not a word. But it's a, Yeah. All right, so this is going to be, a positively I think so, yeah. Thanks to Sticks and Eggs. Excellent. Just stick with. Excellent, excellent. I'm like trying to. Don't try to church up that super challah. Fragile X sticks eggs XBLA be to keep. I think it's a place like I'm like a bad Easter bunny.
00;20;18;22 - 00;20;44;10
I lay the egg in the wrong place. That's what Jesus said. Put them in the wrong place. He's like Greg, gold eggs. Greg. No. But like when I was a kid, I always watched critters three. That was like my go to mine was to. Okay, mine was not. Yours was none. Mine. I don't even like critters for critters in space.
00;20;44;10 - 00;21;06;16
I don't really remember it that well, but it's interesting. Like critters for critters in space, right? We like criticize horror movies because the fourth one is on critters for some reason, but critters are actually from space. Criticize. They don't criticize this movie. So that's a good point. Yeah, critters in space, pigs play like they're actually from space, so it actually makes sense.
00;21;06;19 - 00;21;30;25
Should be critters at home. Yeah, yeah. Critters. Guard. They started cooking for home. Critters were here where we were meant to be. It's like homeward bound. This is the fourth. This is the fourth. Homeward bound in space. No, the critters are going back home. They're finding their way back home. Homeward bound. The incredible journey. Nice night. God, we're.
00;21;30;28 - 00;21;39;04
We're so talented at this. You're on a egg roll to.
00;21;39;07 - 00;22;01;00
Oh, the incredible journey. And create a double. Incredible. Oh, that's so much better and greater. Like global journey. Yes. Greater egg. Oh my God. Okay, you could listen to us talk about this for free, or you can pay for our Patreon and hear us talk more nonsense about other movies. That's right. Patreon.com slash, how I Met your Monster.
00;22;01;01 - 00;22;21;07
Yeah. If you're enjoying this, just, Just you wait. That's right. There's more eggs in this basket. Are you guys ready to head to Grover's Bend? And that was Bradley. Bradley, Bradley Brown and his, reputation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You like that? You didn't think I was going to go there, but. Yeah. You like. Yeah. You like, you like this.
00;22;21;09 - 00;22;52;14
You like drama. You like those legs, This is a character study on the reputations of men who leave their town and return. I wouldn't call him a man. He's like 12. The stuff. Yeah. Where is he coming back from? Like fucking the fields. They sent him off because he's alive. He's coming back from Kansas City to meet here to spend Easter with his grandma, his Nanna, because his family moved to Kansas City after the first film.
00;22;52;16 - 00;23;09;22
With the crates. Yeah. You know, you notice, like, in the when he's on the bus at the beginning and the bus driver is like, yeah, there's this whole town, like some kid and his family made up this story about, space creatures. And then he, like, hides the fact that he's that kid. Yeah, yeah. Let's go to.
00;23;09;24 - 00;23;40;08
Let's go to Grover's Bend. Okay. Next up, Grover's Bend. That's how trucks or, trucks. That's how busses usually work, right? Yeah, yeah. Ding ding. Grover's barnyard. Yeah. What is that? Mojo, man? Why'd you turn into a 20 reporter, my dear? Oh, yeah, he did that because fucking Bradley. Cause Meghan. Jimmy Olsen with breast, breasts. What a weird.
00;23;40;10 - 00;24;01;06
What a weird line, Brad. This movie in general was really weird. I have to say. I loved the opening credits. There weren't any there. Oh, there were though. There's the new line logo. There's the new line logo. Yeah. Oh, and a good one with the OG sounds and everything. Oh, yeah. So this was a new line movie, both critters one and two.
00;24;01;06 - 00;24;21;26
I don't know about three, but I would assume three, was a new line feature produced by Robert Shea, who produced the Nightmare on Elm Street films and, even has a Freddy cameo later in the movie. And this movie's literally an ad for he's like, if we can't make any money off of this, at least someone will see it and want to go see a nightmare movie, right?
00;24;22;03 - 00;24;53;15
And even his, sister Lin Shay, who was in Nightmare on Elm Street, is, plays a role in this movie. So, so in this little movie called the Short. Actually, yeah. Listeners, if you, have not been caught up on our quest to get Danny to watch Detroit Rock city, it's been a spent eight years. Now it's actually been two years, because that's how long it takes the crate eggs to hatch.
00;24;53;17 - 00;25;06;16
So let's go to Grover's Bend, hatch these eggs, and, celebrate some Easter. I can do it.
00;25;06;18 - 00;25;12;03
And.
00;25;12;06 - 00;25;19;17
You.
00;25;19;19 - 00;25;22;08
Will.
00;25;22;10 - 00;25;47;09
Be okay for critters two, we have nine official monster reveals. And if you are new to this show, I will say that a monster reveal is any time the monster is revealed to us as an audience or two characters in the movie that counts as a official monster reveal. So, this was actually my pick for our Rotten Eggs triple feature.
00;25;47;13 - 00;26;13;05
So I will go ahead and read the synopsis via IMDb. Eggs of the small but voracious alien creatures called Crites are left behind on Earth, and after hatching, set their appetites on the small farm town of Grover's Bend. Okay. Yes. I'm gonna do it. Oh, what? Who is Terrence Mann? He plays UG. UG. Okay. I feel like that name is.
00;26;13;05 - 00;26;34;21
So maybe I'm thinking of, like, Michael Mann and Taron s. Oh, my God, what now? I'm losing it. Terrence. Well, there's Terrence Malick. Terrence malick? Yeah, I think I'm thinking of, like, a mix of Michael Mann and Terrence Malick. No, I'm thinking of Terrence. I know what you're thinking of. He's got, like, white hair. Yeah. Terence Stamp, Terrence Stamp, that's who I'm thinking of.
00;26;34;26 - 00;26;59;05
I said slip on as a joke, and it was so close. The stamp. So, yeah, it was, it was again, critters three. I should I watched it enough. I should know as Charlie. As Charlie. No. Charlie in in critters three. But is he because og takes his form? Dude, speaking of Pee-Wee, Terence, man who plays egg, was in Big Top.
00;26;59;05 - 00;27;27;15
Pee-Wee as Snowball the clown. Oh, yes. His name is. What if it was? What if it was just og? But he, like, changed his face to be Snowball the Clown. Whoa, dude, is it time for the how I Met Your Monster conspiracy theory of the week? Oh my God. Credit. I'm telling you that NASA is going to the president of the United States with you.
00;27;27;17 - 00;27;56;29
That kind of thing. A Secret Service agent and, like, throw himself on top of the whole Vietnam War was fought over. And then Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle. The third issue this year, it ug is Snowball the clown in Big Top. Pee-Wee and the circus blew into town to stop the crates. Guys, we haven't even done a reveal yet.
00;27;57;01 - 00;28;28;12
I'm revealing a, I'm revealing a, conspiracy theory right now. What will most certainly be a fact. Yeah, and. Oh, shit. No, it's. I see where you're going. You're, Yeah, yeah. So, snowball. Oh, yeah. Because Pee-Wee cedes the town his little cocktail weenies and they all turn into little kids, right? I don't, and so what?
00;28;28;13 - 00;28;49;17
Or maybe I've never seen this movie. Big time Pee-Wee was the first movie I ever saw in movie theater when I was a kid. He gives them. He feeds him his weenie. No. His cocktail, his his cocktail weenies. Right. He could, because Pee-Wee has a hot dog tree. And the hot dog tree, he waters it with this chemical, and he makes a mistake.
00;28;49;17 - 00;29;10;29
And instead of growing the hot dogs, they shrink into little cocktail weenies. And it's happened to me. When I drink too much. This is real. This is so real. And you're making this up. The old people in his town don't want the circus there. And so he says, oh, I know I'll feed them the cocktail weenies. They'll shrink into small kids, and then they'll want the circus to stay in town.
00;29;11;06 - 00;29;31;09
What is this? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Zach discovered his love of cinema from this movie I did. Oh, my God, this. This is real. It's real. It's. This is a real movie. This is Big Top Pee-Wee, the sequel to pee wee's Big Adventure, based on true events. This is real. He does it work?
00;29;31;11 - 00;30;02;13
Yeah it does. They shrink into their child. So because of the because of the chemical within the cocktail weenies. Yes. What if they shrunk down into critters? See, that's where the conspiracy comes into play I figured so the people of the town are actually all great bounty hunters. And they eat the cocktail weenies and they're all just like.
00;30;02;15 - 00;30;29;12
Like they're trying to do Pee-Wee a solid. So they're like, all right, everybody changed. And they all. And they all change into their little selves while they, gyrate. And then while the circus is happening, I don't know what the crates are doing, but they're doing some. Well, what if it's something when the spaceship goes by it, like, blows the crates over exactly like this.
00;30;29;12 - 00;30;59;02
Literally. It, like, creates a gust and it just conveniently mashes them together. Yeah. This is not a critters two episode. You know, Casey, you always got to pop my, fucking cocktail weenie. You guys got to pop my, conspiracy theory balloon with your miniature cocktail. We. Excuse me, is anything but. Do you think you could pop a balloon with a hot dog?
00;30;59;04 - 00;31;17;06
I think I think that I could, but I think I could find a way to pop a balloon in the hot dog for sure. Yeah. Okay, so that was, you know, how I met your monster conspiracy theory of the week before it was popped by a small cocktail weenie. It was not small. Oh, well, okay. It is though.
00;31;17;12 - 00;31;35;21
Sorry. Calling Casey's weenie small. What are you, some sort of size queen? I'm just telling you, I'm a regular sized wiener. They were full size hot dogs on a hot dog tree, and they changed into small cocktail weenies. That's like. That's just a fact, as my favorite argument I've ever heard in my life. No, you don't understand. They were regular sized hot dogs.
00;31;35;23 - 00;31;59;08
When the chemicals were added to the hot dog tree, they then became miniature weenies. Yeah, I don't understand. That is to wrap your mind around Casey. Because I'm talking about my weenie. I understand. Oh, my God. Why are you so frustrated? We're having fun. This isn't fun.
00;31;59;11 - 00;32;27;29
Okay, so now that we know who Terence man is and that he played snowball, did you guys realize that his bounty hunter partner, Lee. His name is UGG. The other guy's name is Lee. Ugly. Ugly. Okay. So. Okay, we've got nine official reveals. Let's get into him. Number one. Actually, the first reveal isn't even an official reveal.
00;32;27;29 - 00;32;54;05
It's an honorable mention. A giant alien creature that is not a crate attacks Charlie. It's clearly the thing, right? It's. It's very much like the thing. Okay, which is funny because Mick Garris, this was, you know, we mentioned this was his first feature. He had made a series of making of videos before he got this job. And one of them was the making of the thing.
00;32;54;07 - 00;33;16;12
So I wonder if he kind of had like this. Let's do a little, little homage to. Yeah, yeah. The critters are actually created by the Kyoto brothers who, did it recently, movie, killer clowns from Outer Space. And, most recently, they just released the game Killer Clowns, from which I heard some very fun. Yeah, I see I get annoyed with those games.
00;33;16;12 - 00;33;37;09
So you have to work with strangers if you don't have. Yeah, I'm the same. Yeah, I just want. I don't want myself. I just I don't want. I'm such a dork. I like to go on YouTube and watch videos of people playing it with friends. I'm like, it's like I have friends. Danny, you know, I remember when we watched when we played Friday the 13th together.
00;33;37;11 - 00;33;50;08
And so this it was you and me, and there was a bunch of, like, teenagers, and I didn't know what I was doing, and they were yelling at me. And then you were like, do you want to play another one? And I was like, no, I'm just going to I got to get to sleep. And like, I didn't go to sleep after that.
00;33;50;08 - 00;34;08;03
I just stayed up and did stuff. But I didn't want to play the teenagers anymore because they were making fun of me. And I was like 32 years old. That's my pitch for the next Friday movie. You're at camp. It's just like two adults and like a bunch of annoying kids that just swear at them all the time.
00;34;08;06 - 00;34;32;19
The kids are mean. God damn, they're so mean, my God. Well, I think it's just because they have so much time to dedicate to playing video games that they've mastered everything. So when you come in and not when I mean you, I mean like, it's like grown men who have other responsibilities. Yeah, I think I was at, you know, the first time I played, I was Jason and like, everybody escaped and I didn't like this.
00;34;32;21 - 00;34;53;17
Like, you're like, why am I swimming? But Jason can't swim. But he's, the, can we do another Friday? Because I want to talk. I won't do it right now because it's too much of a Tange egg. He is in the water a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, it's his weakness in Freddy versus Jason, but it's his strength in most movies.
00;34;53;17 - 00;35;14;20
But it is what killed it. So it's. All right, back to space. You know who's also in space was Jason. And you know that's true. So in Jason was an egg. Yeah. And you know, it was also an egg was a critter. Yeah. And your critters are in space. That's right. Back to that. But not now. They're in Grover's bed.
00;35;14;22 - 00;35;46;15
So, because our two honorable mentions that we start with are the giant alien that lands on the bounty hunter, which which is revealed to be Charlie, who was in the first film who left Earth and went with the bounty hunters to bounty hunt. And in our second honorable mention, we see that alien that he has captured in a group of other aliens of all different species, I guess, and then this little, like, big headed alien on a screen says, hey, guys, she has a name in science.
00;35;46;17 - 00;36;07;05
So Santi Zante is scene. Okay? My bad. Zante says, hey, bounty hunters, there's crates back on Earth and you need to go eradicate them. And Charlie's like, oh man, I'm scared to go back because it's been a while and I only had, one little kid buddy and nobody else like me because I was a drunk. That's weird.
00;36;07;06 - 00;36;32;00
That's very weird. Yeah. Okay. The 80s and 90s were a weird time with children and old drunk people. Old drunk people are just adults in general, you know, like fucking blank check where the fucking 30 year old police officer kisses the, like, 11 year old on the lips. Fucking weird. Anyways, we're not going to get into that because our first official reveal, thank god.
00;36;32;01 - 00;36;52;06
Let's see. We've talked about Jesus bunny rabbits. Peewee. Fucking Friday, the 13th cocktail when he's film critics. And now we are finally in our first reveal. Well, the thing is, is it's no secret. No, Danny. It's not. It's still, we had a guest last week, and whenever we have a guest, we are always on our best behavior.
00;36;52;06 - 00;37;13;19
And we're very controlled. This is the result of that. This is what happened. Yes. That's right. We. And by the way, a wonderful guest. Yeah. Candy Carpenter, a wonderful musician and a wonderful for one of my favorite episodes we've been. So if you haven't listened, go back. I'm really proud of it. Yeah, yeah, we covered the Final Destination as, to wrap up our unlucky Fox triple feature.
00;37;13;19 - 00;37;41;12
So check that out. But. Okay, Casey, you will be so pleased to know that our first official reveal is Wesley and Quigley looking at the eggs in the barn. And I promise, I promise I'm making this promise. We will not talk about another movie in a moment. But do you realize, oh, it's going to be so fucking hard not to talk about this movie.
00;37;41;18 - 00;38;05;03
I have nothing to say about it, so don't even worry. Where do you recognize Wesley from? Leslie, where do you give it away? Where do you recognize Wesley from? Me. Heavyweight. So what's your name? Yeah, he's Lars in heavyweights. That's why I, I have no thoughts on this movie, but we're not talking about, you know, we done.
00;38;05;04 - 00;38;22;24
We've never even seen that movie. What are you talking about? Yeah. I'm not. I will say one quick thing, though. Hey, I probably said, I promise I won't talk about it. That's what I said. Heavyweights features the blob and the blob. Yes. Is on our Patreon right now. And we did a commentary episode for it for the month of March.
00;38;22;24 - 00;38;46;24
So go check it out. And with that I. That's right. The book is closed. Nothing. Heavyweights heavyweight don't. Heavyweights are so heavy we cannot lift them and therefore we must move forward. This episode is tangents and promos for old material that. We could talk about what we're trying to do now so that we can promote it in a future episode, but we're kicking ourselves in the head calls.
00;38;46;26 - 00;39;07;06
Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, yeah, Wesley and Quigley find the eggs in the barn, and they're, like, green and weird shaped and they don't look like regular eggs, but they don't question it. They're just like, okay, here. And you, like, trades it for fucking beer and playboys. Which I love that all the cans of beer just say beer.
00;39;07;06 - 00;39;32;15
It's so funny. But, after some, back and forth with the eggs, because then, like Bradley's nana comes and buys the eggs for Easter at, like, an a very expensive amount. I'm so confused. Why you confused? What? What about this movie? Casey is confusing it. Why do these people think that these are eggs? Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying.
00;39;32;15 - 00;39;50;08
Like, it's just, like, weird. And nobody like bats and I. There's. Yeah. No one. I found these weird eggs. Okay. Well, yeah. And then what, you're going to buy them for Easter? Yeah. Yeah. There's obviously something wrong with them. There should have been a setup with like. I mean, they don't look like Faberge. Those clearly weren't birds that Jesus is.
00;39;50;08 - 00;40;10;26
But yeah. But like, yeah, there should have been something there. Like some, I know it's still funny. I still rationalize and justify something that is irrational and I justify it, but I don't care. The movie's still funny. It's great, but you know it. There is a level of horror movie logic. Maybe that's what Gene Siskel is trying to get at.
00;40;11;03 - 00;40;38;27
Maybe that's what threw him. He just couldn't get around why they were so okay with the eggs. But yeah, one fun thing was when Wesley is going into Quigley's barn at the beginning and, like, there's the dog, and the dog jumps at him and he's like, Quigley. He's like, oh, it's just a dog. And Wesley says, oh, so is Cujo, which is a fun like, Stephen King nod from Mick Garris, who would go on to direct a bunch of Stephen King adaptations.
00;40;39;00 - 00;41;03;01
He did The Stand, Sleepwalkers, The Shining, Randi The Bullet, desperation and Bag of Bones. So I thought that was fun, and I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes here or on your tail. But Cujo starred, a star from critters one who did not return in this movie, Dee Wallace. Yeah. Oh, we love. Yeah, yeah, we do love D yeah.
00;41;03;01 - 00;41;24;24
If you're like, you know, if you're like, wanting, like a full on, like, horror critters, one is definitely like the way to go. But if you're, like, having a good time with just some fun critters too is a blast check, would you say? I've noticed. I've been noticing a trend and I could be wrong. Could just be coincidence.
00;41;24;26 - 00;41;43;20
Would you say that one of your favorite eras for horror films is the late 80s, early 90s, or is it just a coincidence? No, I think that's I mean, because that's like those that's like when I was like, you came of age. Those are the movies that I was. Well, I mean, yeah, when this came out, I was only two, but, you know, you came of age at two.
00;41;43;20 - 00;42;04;02
Wow. But, you know, the video store, when I would go to the video, like, that was like the section I would always go to. And so these were, you know, early 90s, I guess, and then back from there. But but yeah, that is a good. Yes. That is my favorite time for horror. Yeah. Yeah. And and speaking of critters one, the sheriff in this.
00;42;04;02 - 00;42;29;02
Well, the ex sheriff, Harve, was actually played by Matt Walsh in the first movie who just passed away recently. Right. Was it recently? I think it was a couple of years at least, which I guess is relative. 000, March 19th, 2024. Almost a year ago to the day of this recording. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, this one's for you, Matt Walsh.
00;42;29;04 - 00;42;55;29
Even though you weren't in the sequel, the world of critters salutes you. Oh, but, yeah, let's jump to our second reveal. At this point, Bradley is back in town and Bell is back in town. So can I just say something really quick? Yes, daddy. Really quick. And I'm so sorry I didn't. I don't want to go off any more tangents, but one thing stood out in this movie that I loved, and I am being genuinely sincere about this.
00;42;55;29 - 00;43;16;20
One thing that I was like, oh, interesting is when they're on the spaceship after, Charlie and Lee get their orders to return to Earth to destroy the crates, we see that Lee has not chosen a form, right. Because we realize that these aliens can take they can look at something or someone and become at them.
00;43;16;23 - 00;43;42;17
Charlie asks Lee. Or so I guess. Because Lee can't talk. Why has Lee not chosen a body? And I know this sounds like a stretch, but I'll also support that. I'm not the only one who caught this. That OG makes a very good case for trans rights and gender fluidity. He tells Charlie that Lee doesn't have a face because you can't live in the wrong body.
00;43;42;20 - 00;44;04;23
They have to find the right body that works for them. And obviously we were not experts on this topic, but it is something worth pointing out, something we support. Trans lives matter, and especially in this day and age where a lot of those rights and people's basic human rights are being challenged. We just want to make it clear that we support them.
00;44;04;23 - 00;44;26;16
And if you don't support that, you can go right to fucking hell. Right. But then I saw that there is, this Reddit thread on this entire topic. I felt very validated when I googled it. I was like critters to trans rights. Question mark. Tales from the crypt 82 did this whole Reddit thread on it, and it refers back to.
00;44;26;16 - 00;44;47;26
Apparently this is something that is continuing from Lee's character in the first film, which I don't remember, but they kind of mentioned how Lee couldn't settle on a body and actually specifically didn't like being male. Like it just didn't feel right to them. There is also if you're interested in this, if this is like if you watched critters two and had the same takeaway that I did.
00;44;47;28 - 00;45;14;06
There's also a medium article from this writer, Riley Black. Will attached links in the show notes if you want to read up on these, but, just really interesting. Just, I wanted to flag that before we, dive into our next, reveal. Yeah. No, that's a good point. Yeah, I don't remember, Lee from the first movie, but, yeah, when he said that, it was kind of like, I didn't think about that.
00;45;14;06 - 00;45;51;25
Didn't make, like, the trans connection, but I was like, oh, that's sweet. Like, you know, yeah, you don't want to live in the the wrong body. And even if the movie like, miscarries, maybe even if he wasn't like specifically trying to make a point that was highlighting that directly. I feel like there is something there about choice and identity and, you know, I'm kind of generalizing, but a lot of people that I know of or know in like the horror realm, like horror filmmaking realm, tend to be very, sensitive, sweet people.
00;45;51;28 - 00;46;11;01
So it's because, oh, God, we can go into a whole topic about how, like, horror is political and all that, but, yeah, if ever there was a type of person to put that sort of subtext or context in a, in a, in a movie, it it's usually, horror filmmakers that make a point to do so.
00;46;11;03 - 00;46;38;00
Right? Right. Yeah. No, that's a good point. Very insightful. And true. Thank you. Let's see. Oh, okay. Reveal number two. Good old Quigley. Quigley gets eaten by the crowds. Yeah, he gets put in by the crowds. Yeah, because they were sitting next to a space heater in a bar and an address bar. I thought you meant my brain was thinking of, like, in space.
00;46;38;04 - 00;46;57;05
I was like, heater. Space heater. I was like, I think they just had a heater. I was like, oh, it's me Peter. Yeah, like a little furnace. Like a little thing. But yeah, they hatch and, Yeah. Like he fucking bites off Quigley's toes. Little cocktail. We need. No, that's the sheriff that the sheriff gets out of here pretty soon.
00;46;57;05 - 00;47;26;27
But, Well, I meant toads. Looked like little cocktail weenies. It wasn't. Oh, that's the sheriff's. The sheriff was. He got the hot dog off the hot dog tree when it was full size. And then I was like, I see, we hope. I know, I don't know what she was like. I got, but, you know, yeah, but, like, you know, the, the they don't spend a whole lot of time, like sneaking around with the crates in this because, like, you've already seen them in one, so it's kind of just like they hatch.
00;47;26;27 - 00;47;43;06
And here they are. We we've seen them. We know what the what the gist is. And, there we go. Even like, you know, in a little bit when they shoot the little quills out of their, out of their, backs, like, nobody questions it because it's just like, oh, this is how the rules have been established, right?
00;47;43;10 - 00;48;11;01
Exactly. Before we go into our next reveal, and maybe you were going to mention this, but, I did want to say there was another honorable mention, with Cyndi's crate egg when it hatches. Oh, because Nina has given all the kids, quote unquote, Easter eggs. But Mr. Morgan. Yeah, the her dad, Mr. Morgan, walks in and squishes the egg thinking that he's the bunny rabbit and like, what kind of, speaking of, what's your name?
00;48;11;03 - 00;48;33;11
Cindy. Cindy? What kind of monster sleeps on the bed without a blanket? Oh, shit. This whole scene is coming back in a okay potential. Yeah. Okay, I will tell you. My daughter does that. She goes, no blankets off, and she just sleeps without a blanket. And I'm like, you're a psycho. I can be as hot as can be, like a heat wave.
00;48;33;11 - 00;48;53;29
And I'm like, I just need a blanket on me. Yeah, she even said that. Yeah. Sheet or something. But. Okay. Speaking of the sheriff's full size hot dog, we are jumping into our third reveal, where the sheriff is in a bunny costume. And what I thought was funny, it was that he does not want to be in this suit.
00;48;53;29 - 00;49;25;26
Right. But when he puts it on, he's in the yard. Nobody is around him, but he starts acting like a bunny. He says he's having a good time. And I'm like this. He's got some secrets. He does? Yeah, almost. I literally because I haven't seen this movie since I was much younger. So I didn't remember every detail. I, I literally was typing in the real monster category because I thought he was going to start peeing because it set it up where he was like taking it off and looked like he was unzipping, and I was like,
00;49;25;28 - 00;49;49;10
Yeah, I'm gonna whip that mini out. Oh he full size, full size full size hot dog. Yeah that was a full size. Oh full size Frank. Yeah. But then it didn't I was like okay. And then backspace does like got all this time just. Yeah. Because the could bite it off before it. I mean maybe, maybe that's his kink.
00;49;49;13 - 00;50;13;16
Yeah. Just to get my dick beaten off by, he's just like, it's coming in that suit, dude, what do they call those, Furries? Furries? Yeah, he's in a suit. He's messing around with a little furball. Yeah, he's a furry. I've never googled, like the mechanics of a furry costume, but there must be a space around the groin area where there's, like, a.
00;50;13;16 - 00;50;31;04
Is there an opening where you can kind of like some of them. They're not all just about having sex. Oh, okay. Okay. But, you know, I don't know. Honestly, I think furries are cool. Oh, shit. Those cosplay, they're awesome. I agree, I met some furries at a at a convention before. Dude, they're so well-made. Those costumes. So is that like.
00;50;31;04 - 00;50;53;06
It is like the furry, culture, I guess. Is that, like, a stereotype that they're all about sex? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yes. All right. Well my apologies. Yeah. We are. Yeah. On this podcast we don't kink shame, but we also do not stereotype. So we apologize for the fact just like anybody else, you know. So they're at a convention and they're like, okay bunny rabbits.
00;50;53;14 - 00;51;11;17
This is a really hot fox over here at Fox. Fucking like rabbits. It's all I see. I see the appeal. Okay. Yeah. Guys, are we about to become furries? Oh. All right, if you were a furry, what animal would you want to be in? Second question. Is that like a thing? Do you, like, chew or is it.
00;51;11;17 - 00;51;27;16
Oh, yeah. I've seen, like, mostly like foxes. Yeah. It's it's an alter ego. So you'd you'd pick what you want to be. What would you cat. What would be your. You'd be a cat. Fuck yeah. Oh, do you be Zach does it now is it they. They're called furries. But does it have to be an animal with fur?
00;51;27;16 - 00;51;49;20
Or is it just like animals and furry, like, takes on, just like the general name? I'm not sure. But does it have to be, like, fluffy? I don't know. Well, maybe Fluffies are like a whole. Oh, that's all other furries that keep you hard or fluffy's because when you fluff a fluffer. Because, like, what? If you wanted to be like a shark, would you be like a stick, a slinky?
00;51;49;22 - 00;52;16;11
Technically, they're called personas. Fursona. Oh, like a persona. That's fun, a fur. That's an excellent choice is it has to be furry. But yeah. Okay, maybe there are some subcategories in the persona culture. Then I would be a, a raccoon eats too much garbage. And, so. Yeah, but you got the cool, like, black eyes.
00;52;16;11 - 00;52;40;12
Yeah. You got, like, the dark, moody eyes. Oh, a lemur, I'd be a lemur. Oh that's fine. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Very cute. Danny, some pigs have fur, right? Like a warthog or something. Are you telling me I got. Do you want to be a fucking pig? Oh. Is that middle kid thing? Yeah. Oh, I changed my mind.
00;52;40;12 - 00;53;04;20
I changed my mind. Golden retriever, I want to be a golden retriever. Okay. Yeah, yeah. What would I be? I don't know, yeah, I was thinking a dog, but maybe, a lion with, like, a nice mane. Oh, no. Tiger, I want stripes. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Bengal or white? Oh, Bengal. Okay. Yeah. I always forget that white tigers are a thing.
00;53;04;22 - 00;53;23;11
White tigers were. I was obsessed with white tigers when I was a kid. Really? Oh, no. I want to be a panda. Oh, and I would just, like, roll around, like, eat bamboo, like, is kink is definitely not sexual. So you're not a bear, though. Proving it. I'm not a bear. Yeah. What's like the first of all, I don't know where I fit into the gay community.
00;53;23;11 - 00;53;26;29
I'm neither Tink.
00;53;27;01 - 00;53;55;06
You're in between, Tinker Bell. Okay, man. You guys. Critters two the main course. This movie is actually titled The Main course. Yeah, yeah. All right. Anyway, man. Lion. It's subtle. It's subtle. Reveal number three. Yes. Sheriff Bunny gets eaten by crates in the dark. Okay. He, one question I have is that, like, the crates get into his suit and they start eating him.
00;53;55;11 - 00;54;14;26
Then he flies through the window of the church. But then the crates aren't in his suit anymore, because then nobody are like, people are like, how did he die? I wonder how he died. We listen and we don't. They do say later that he does. Yeah. So he got his insides carved out. Maybe he was very light and they threw him like.
00;54;14;26 - 00;54;39;05
It's like when you only see like someone like a rich. Oh, he like, chew the chicken or throw the bone. Throw it. Maybe it was that. Yeah. Yeah. They don't like bones, which we'll find out later. Oh yeah. Maybe it's literally. What? Nobody improved it. Yep. That's what happened. He was turkey legs through the window. That's right. Okay, so now Meghan is convinced that Bradley story is true.
00;54;39;05 - 00;54;58;24
And the crates are here. So they go to the sheriffs and the sheriff's like, fuck this, I'm out of here. I'm not dealing with these crates again. Goodbye, then. Then they go to see Quigley. Why do they go to see Quigley? Or do they just get stopped by Lynch? So, yeah. So she's. And then she's like, fly in there.
00;54;58;24 - 00;55;17;10
Come down. Yeah. Got it. And then you know Bradley's like, oh I've seen these before. Let me go deal with it. And we see Quigley. His eyes like all like sticking out whatever. And he falls over and then dude, how come nobody said fucking crate to be a furry? Nobody wants to be a crate. I'd be a crate.
00;55;17;10 - 00;55;35;28
I don't I need a bulb crate. Oh, I hair, I love that like screams. Wait, we all crates. We're all crate furries and we have an orgy and we're the. We turn into the critter ball. Oh my God.
00;55;36;00 - 00;55;59;24
Yeah. There has to be furry conventions that are specifically for crates. God, I hope so. It'd be a wasted opportunity if it's. If there isn't. But all the crates attack Megan. So. And Bradley and they are in the truck, and, we see some of their personality coming through and their defense mechanisms. Yeah. You mentioned earlier the porcupine kind of attacked, one of the crates.
00;55;59;24 - 00;56;19;18
They can chew through tires but then get filled up with. They're funny. You know, one thing that, I believe it was Mick Garris had said about the Kyoto brothers is that they're like the Three stooges of special effects. And I was like, oh, that makes so much sense, because, yeah, things like the inflating and just fun.
00;56;19;24 - 00;56;40;04
Yeah, this movie kind of goes against that kind of like standard or rule or whatever you want to call it, where it's like if you're doing a horror comedy, the horror needs to remain horrific, and the comedy can kind of be its own thing, and that's how you find the balance. Whereas this movie uses that Three Stooges kind of effect to kind of heighten the horror.
00;56;40;07 - 00;57;05;03
So it ends up kind of more so becoming full comedy with some, it's like a horror movie that is ultimately a comedy. Sure. Yeah. But oh. We also see in this scene, maybe we saw it earlier how the critters get around. They can turn into little, like they can roll quite quickly. Yeah. So we kind of paint a broad picture of what these creatures can do, right?
00;57;05;09 - 00;57;34;27
Yeah. They're kind of like, tumbleweeds. Yes. Yeah. The the tumbleweed of space monsters. They're like, if Sonic the Hedgehog and a tumbleweed, they okay? They're like, If Sonic the Hedgehog got stuck inside a tumbleweed, he would roll like that. But I'm changing my fur. I would be a, hedgehog. Okay. So, and then right after this, our fifth reveal, this is where Nana meets the crate in the fridge in her, in her daycare center.
00;57;34;29 - 00;57;57;28
Which, you know, Bradley and Nana have met the crates before in part one. But since this is clearly an episode on part two, and nothing else, we are just sticking with this. So this is for the episode's sake. This is the first time she's meeting this this crate. And this is also where, the bounty hunters come back in.
00;57;57;28 - 00;58;24;22
Because at the end of the first one, they give Charlie, not Charlie, Bradley this little communicator so that they can call him if something happens. And, one thing that we did skip over because it's not officially a reveal, because it doesn't happen with the monster, but the bounty hunters and Charlie land on Earth. Lee finds the Playboy magazine, Charlie finds it, and Charlie sees it, and he becomes, who's the woman?
00;58;24;22 - 00;58;45;14
I forget what her name is. Oh, I didn't even realize it was a real, Yeah, she's a real, Playboy model. Yeah. While you search for that, I think this may have been the first pair of, movie boobs that I ever saw growing up. Roxanne Carnahan. She looks like a Roxanna. Roxie. Yeah. She does.
00;58;45;16 - 00;59;05;04
These are either your first pair of, boobs. You. Sir, I think so. Dang, that's. I just assumed. So, like, is that a pivotal moment, even for a gay man? Oh, yeah. Well, that's. Yeah, I was surprised to discover that that's how boobs are made. That they just sort of, like, inflate. Oh, yeah, they just grow when you see a magazine.
00;59;05;05 - 00;59;24;09
Yeah, yeah. Right. So Danny, like, never looked. That's why I was like, I can't look at that since you're gay. Yeah. I was like, I can't look at Playboy because I don't get boobs and I don't want boobs. That's. I was like, oh, what's this play girl okay. Yeah, that's that's this. Yeah. And then your dick grew so bad.
00;59;24;11 - 00;59;35;24
Yeah, exactly. I was like, wow, it does work. But you.
00;59;35;27 - 00;59;57;14
That's not funny, dude. Yeah. Okay. So that makes so much sense. And we've talked about, you know, Mick Garris maybe putting this into this screenplay about like, trans rights and that and this. And, you know, as a young person who maybe sees this as, oh, I can't look at it, this because I'll turn into a woman, I'll get these boobs.
00;59;57;18 - 01;00;15;21
But if I look at this, oh, I get a giant penis also. There's that. And then there's also the the bounty hunter blasters that like, when they look like giant dicks and they keep, like, growing. Like they like. Yeah, they get erect when they're, like, about to kill a crane. The way they hold them is by their groin.
01;00;15;23 - 01;00;41;08
Yeah, dude, it's all coming together. This. This is like a masterpiece of sex education. Yeah. Critters two is my first introduction to the queer community, you know? God bless it. Wow. We figured it out. Yeah, we sure did. But what is so fun about this is a staple that, like Lee, Lee sees the picture and it's like a centerfold.
01;00;41;08 - 01;00;59;16
And it's like a staple there from the magazine. And then there's a giant staple on, on their chest, which is, which is a fun little touch to. Okay. Yeah. And then I'm at the crate in the fridge, the bounty hunters show up, and this is where Bradley and Charlie are reunited. As, like, a little reunion, which is fun.
01;00;59;18 - 01;01;22;03
Mr. Morgan is our sixth official reveal. Megan's dad. He runs the newspaper, and there is a crate, like, coming through the vents, I guess. And he blocks them in. And when they rescue him as they're leaving, he gets darted with a quill in the neck. Yeah. Which. I'll do it. Wait, if I can be dramatic. Jesus.
01;01;22;05 - 01;01;37;26
Yeah, right. It was like, it grazed him and he toppled over. And he go without any more? Leave me. It did not graze him. It's stuck him in the neck either fucking way. You can't walk. Yeah, well, I guess again, like we said, the rules are established. That was in the first one that we find out.
01;01;37;28 - 01;01;57;22
That's why they didn't put much stock into it. Because, like, we're supposed to already know I'm on Casey's side. What do we find that we mentioned Homeward bound the incredible journey earlier. Chance the dog gets a fucking porcupine. Like a whole, what would you call it? Well, yeah, but a stream of porcupine needles. But what is it poisonous?
01;01;57;22 - 01;02;18;13
Can it does it render you. Does it render you a washcloth. Yeah. They've got like stuff in a porcupine. Needles. Yeah. They're waterless porcupine needles. It's kind of like the blow darts that the camera in Moana shoot I was not where I was going, but they paralyze you. Oh, I thought you were talking on the scene from a Indiana Jones.
01;02;18;13 - 01;02;44;14
The Kingdom of the Crystal skull, or. Oh, mean. Just so many blue skies. Cinema is filled with blow darts. Have you ever seen a bloater? Ever in your life? Porcupine curls and blow darts. Don't forget jungle. The jungle. Oh my God, who has, oh, who has the kid? Jam, jam. Who is in Detroit? It's from Detroit city. I love how I've seen this movie.
01;02;44;16 - 01;03;05;00
Like through your guys's telling of it. It'll never live up to that. Dan. Yo, Danny. This is. This is why I'm not. I can't do it. Yeah. There's no respect to the name. Well, hey, you know what? We'll start respecting you when you watch the movie with that title. Then. Not until then. You're Dan, you're Dan to me.
01;03;05;02 - 01;03;29;22
You let me, Where were we? We are. We were just. Oh, we're heading on to the seventh reveal, which is one of the big ones. Oh, yeah. Okay, so, yeah, we're not in the church yet, but, he sees it. He sees the crate in the newspaper. And then our seventh official reveal is the Hungry Heifer. My favorite part of the movie.
01;03;29;24 - 01;03;52;29
Yeah, it's probably the most. I mean, other than the Critter Ball, it's probably the most memorable part of this movie. It's so silly. Because they're just like they're, like, full on gremlins at this point. Like, this is the Phoebe Cates bar scene. Yeah, like, they're not really like that in the first movie, but this is kind of just like, full on, you know, I remember like in the third one, they're like eating dish soap and then, like, burping bubbles and, like, they float and stuff, and it's like, oh my God.
01;03;53;02 - 01;04;19;03
But, yeah, here they're like full on eating the salad bar and all the burger toppings and squirting ketchup. And it's it's wild. Yeah. Like the critter, the crate rather falls onto the stove. So he uses the spatula to, like, it's like, yeah, all right. What I did love was when the bounty hunters start shooting everybody, and, the one crate, which I think gets his hair buzzed off, falls into the fryer.
01;04;19;05 - 01;04;35;10
Yeah. And then he comes out and he's all just, like, melted. Really, like burned skin. Like no hair. Yeah. I was like, oh, that's pretty cool. That's fun. I do say there has to be a more efficient way to kill these things. The bounty hunters, you'd think they'd have like, a system, but it's just like, yeah, very loose.
01;04;35;10 - 01;04;58;24
Like blowing shit up. Yeah, yeah. So that maybe they're like a good shot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Instead of just spraying bullets everywhere. Right? Yeah, yeah. They got all the machinery, but not all the I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Because when we'll see like, you know, when, even in a, just a little bit when Lee goes down to the alleyway and walks into it.
01;04;58;26 - 01;05;21;20
Yeah. And then it's just like, oh, I'm fucking not even a trap. She walks out a creepy dark alley, like, all creepy dark alleys. Are traps like that just. Yeah. Is a trap a trap if you know, if the trap, you know, we do get our first, buoying sound when, And the birds chirping, when the crate slides across the floor and hits his head, like, literally.
01;05;21;20 - 01;05;43;16
Yeah. Like birds over his head. That was like, oh, that's like, guys. Yeah, we are on the verge of crossing a line, so let's turn it back a little bit. Our seventh reveal at The Hungry Heifer also bleeds into our eighth official reveal. It was when, like the critters or the crates rather are now all over Grover's Bend and the town is just experiencing them all.
01;05;43;22 - 01;06;06;04
And to that point, Danny, we get like the bowling ball sound effect. It's like when it knocks over a bunch of townsfolk and it's like the crack of a strike. Oh my God, so stupid. And so now all the townsfolk are like, gathered up in the church. It's getting to be nighttime and they are trying to figure out what to do.
01;06;06;10 - 01;06;34;10
The crates are like gathering to eat cows, dead cows. And oh yeah, this is where that guy goes out to investigate a strange sound. It's like, dude, what do you think it is? It's definitely the alien. Yeah, and he gets eaten. But then what's her name? I always forget her name. Cindy. Cindy? Cindy. She goes out on her tricycle.
01;06;34;12 - 01;06;56;07
Why? I don't know the only way to escape a crate. And, they all chaser. But Bradley comes to the rescue, and just like, brushes them away. I guess he has a baseball bat, but, the sheriff is really what saves the day. Because Harv comes back, and now he's cavalry's here. The Calvary series got, like, 2 to 6 shooters.
01;06;56;09 - 01;07;22;25
He's like me, which he shoots a lot better than the bounty hunters. Maybe he should go to space. Yeah. With them? Yeah. What's Charlie doing? I don't think he's doing more harm to the, poor Charlie. But. Yeah. So the sheriff is back. They devise this plan to, like, go blow up the burger factory. But, like, because they're going to, like, lure all the critters there, then blow it up.
01;07;22;25 - 01;07;39;06
And it was like, where did the town get all these explosives that. No, they just had boxes that said explosives. And it's funny. I mean, when you're a little they got it at the same store where they got the beer. Exactly. The beer and explosives. Maybe the first draft of this movie was a 4th of July movie and the like.
01;07;39;08 - 01;08;12;02
How do eggs tie into 4th of July? And they're like Easter, Easter? Yep, yep. They're not firecrackers anymore. They're dynamite. Yeah, yeah. They lure the they lure all the crates into the factory, with the help of UG Goo. After the wedding of. Yes. Who, after learning of Lee's death, kind of just reverts back to reverts back to his original form, and, then he back then he morphs into the leader of the the crowd that's like, is that a bigger crate?
01;08;12;04 - 01;08;33;19
Like, no, it's a smaller UG. Then he turns into UG. A yeah, it's a smaller UG. You just like little like he forms back but he can't, he like ruined it and like, so he's just that big. Which there's a big crate in the first movie. There's like a big, much bigger than that. Like a full on big, boss.
01;08;33;22 - 01;08;54;03
Like the boss. Yeah. We find out that it was UG, and he lured him there, and then they blow it up. But for some reason, the critters. Yeah. Don't blow up. There's just no splash. So glad they did. Because this is our ninth and final official reveal for critters to the giant crate ball or critter Ball or whatever you want to call it.
01;08;54;05 - 01;09;18;20
But I'm so glad this happened because we get that awesome effect where it's rolling through the field toward the group of people and it runs over one guy, one town person. I love it, and when it when it comes off the other side, he's just bones. He's just black bones because they just like, like sucked it right out of meat off of him.
01;09;18;20 - 01;09;38;02
I just that was so, like little, piranhas. That's it or. Yeah, I was like, what is this reminding me of? Land piranhas? Yeah. Land piranhas. Space piranhas. But, yeah. Space piranhas. You could call them, crates for you. Call them crates. That's a good idea. That is, if you put space and piranhas together. You can get.
01;09;38;07 - 01;10;05;22
I get crate. Exactly. And crate is Latin, which I learned in my Latin class for egg. Yeah. I want to be so bad. He's like, Yeah. I can't believe you left any, but Charlie who is been kind of useless this whole movie mad respect Charlie, but come on. Pulls a Quaid. It's the Quaid maneuver, as they call it.
01;10;05;24 - 01;10;25;16
What's the Quaid where you take a alien spaceship and you slide, or I guess he's not an alien spaceship, but you take a ship and fly it into a bunch of aliens to end the movie and save the day like Independence Day. Randy. Oh, Randy Quaid I was thinking, Dennis I was so confused. What do you think of not Randy?
01;10;25;18 - 01;10;44;01
Well, Dennis Quaid was in with Dennis. No, Dennis Quaid is on Innerspace. Is he? Dennis Quaid is in interspace. Yes, but he's not. He's the. Is he? He is. Oh, no he is. Enter because it's. Yeah, it's his name on the outside. Is it Martin? No, not where am I. In short, you know, why am I myself?
01;10;44;01 - 01;11;05;10
But let's go with Danny. Knows everything about this movie. But refused to leave him so that I. I get it. So Mick Garris is good friends with Joe Dante. Joe Dante, Directed Innerspace, which was produced by Steven Spielberg, where Dennis Quaid gets really small in a spaceship and gets injected into the inside of Martin Short. What is it?
01;11;05;10 - 01;11;39;28
The same chemical fuck big top Pee-Wee. Yeah. What the fuck is happening today? Oh, God. So funny. So the chemical that was in there got, like, mixed in. So that's the how I Met Your Monster conspiracy theory of the week has nothing to do with critters two. That's a no. I prefer Pee-Wee and Innerspace. But, Danny, I think what you're thinking is Dennis Quaid was in an alien space movie called Enemy Mine, with Louis Gossett Jr, who played an alien.
01;11;40;00 - 01;11;59;10
I used to watch that all the time as a kid. Never seen it. Highly recommend enemy mine. Add it to the list of things we are talking about. Besides, I used to do you, You know why we're not talking about credits to it? Because it's fucking over. We're done. We did it! Yeah. Charlie, finish his spaceship into the Critter Ball.
01;11;59;13 - 01;12;20;04
Blows them all up. We think Charlie's dead, but he used his eject button, I guess, which all spaceships say. His ejaculate. Yeah, he ejaculated himself out of there. Well, you know, I actually have a serious question for you guys. Have you jerked off an egg? Oh.
01;12;20;06 - 01;12;47;02
No, I've jerked off a chicken. No, I want to check to try to get an egg. Oh, choked your chicken. No, that might not. My chick. I know, I know, yeah, this is before I knew that, only hens lay eggs. Big mistake. Yes. Oh, my God, what is it like? What? What is this? You know, I've questioned this before.
01;12;47;02 - 01;13;05;09
Like, why would you listen to this show? I don't know. Oh, I love it. This. We did make a promise at the start of the year that we are just unhinged. We started off. Oh, yeah. A bunch of hinged movies goes to Mars. Oh, yeah, that's right. And that just set the tone. I don't know if we consciously made a promise, but it's just it just happened.
01;13;05;11 - 01;13;25;00
The crimson wind flows through us all. Just me though, but you know. Oh my God, listeners, thank you for sticking with us. I'm also sorry at the same time. Actually, Charlie did say earlier in the movie, he said, and I wrote this down and forgot to mention it. He told Brad, I got to go where the cosmic wind blows me.
01;13;25;00 - 01;13;44;22
Yep, yep. And it made me think of the crimson wind. And maybe he was confusing them. But yeah, the power of the crimson wind flows through us all, y'all. Damn so deep. Thanks, guys. That's it. That's for sure. Yeah, we got nothing else. And nor should we have anything else. Nor should we. We should have had a lesson before it.
01;13;44;23 - 01;13;47;23
Yeah.
01;13;47;25 - 01;13;59;16
Well, with that being said, it is now time to choose our favorite official reveal in critters to the main course. Oh.
01;13;59;19 - 01;14;14;23
Hold on here. I don't believe anyone. That's how they can just. They're under this goddamn foreign.
01;14;14;25 - 01;14;40;18
Listeners, if, you were hoping to find some fun, punny official reveal titles. I do not have that. So let us down. I let you down. So it'll be pretty, pretty straightforward. Awesome speedrun recap here we go. Number one, Wesley or Lars and Quigley find the eggs in the barn. Number two, Quigley gets eaten by crates.
01;14;40;21 - 01;15;03;18
Number three, Sheriff Bunny gets eaten by crates. Number four crates. Attack the truck. That's a lot of crates. Number five. Nana meets the crate in the refrigerator. Number six, Mr. Morgan sees a crate at the newspaper. Number seven. The crates attack the hungry heifer. Number eight. Grover's Ben is attacked by, you guessed it, crates, crate. And, number nine, the crate.
01;15;03;18 - 01;15;29;19
Ball crate. Go cry. Come on down. A cry. Oh, cry. Crikey. It's a crate ball. So, you guys, Casey, you know, you've been so, you've been so on these reveals this whole episode. I'm going to let you pick your favorite reveal first. My favorite reveals The Hungry Heifer reveal because it was just fucking wild. It was silly.
01;15;29;21 - 01;15;54;24
So. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, sometimes you vote for nonsense. Yeah. Kind of like the last election. True. Guys, let's talk about the state of the word no. Okay. Danny, what was your favorite reveal? My favorite reveal was the critter ball. The great ball? Because we were balls. I do love balls. I like a nice bunch of hairy balls.
01;15;54;26 - 01;16;18;29
I just feel like it's iconic. It's on the poster. Yeah. And, it's it's educational. It taught me why you don't normally see or hear of, burger factories blowing up. Yeah. Because there's the chance, you know, it's not, it's not definite. But there is still a chance that the reason that doesn't happen is because it'll turn into a giant critter ball, right?
01;16;19;00 - 01;16;41;04
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I wonder if they did that for, like, protection. Like, but it would have exploded so fast. I don't. But this apparently was added not like last minute, but in terms of like the script being done and going into production, it was like more of a last minute idea and not becoming, kind of a defining image for the sequel, right?
01;16;41;08 - 01;17;06;03
Yeah. It's like one of the big, big things. And, you know, you mentioned, the poster. I kind of am sad that they didn't continue the same poster theme, I guess, throughout all the movies, because it's like one and two have the same poster style, and then three is, you know, obviously different. But then like, I think gonna say the third one should have two balls on the cover.
01;17;06;05 - 01;17;26;27
No, I think three is like them ripping through, you know, like ripping through the poster. I think kind of like, do you think anyone ever fell for that? But you walk by and you're like, But I do posters of, the first two critters, movies, posters. Me too. Danny, I'm with you. My favorite reveal is the critter ball.
01;17;26;27 - 01;17;49;17
The crate ball, whatever you want to call it. For, you know, exactly the same reasons that you said. It's just. I can't say exactly. Exactly the same reasons. Exactly. And plus that great gag where they run over the guy, and he's just. They just fucking eat all the meat balls. Gag balls? Yeah, they gag on the on the guy's bones.
01;17;49;24 - 01;17;59;08
Yeah. So, speaking of gagging on bones, it is time for a segment that we like to call the real monster.
01;17;59;10 - 01;18;25;24
Run, run, run as fast as you can, okay? I am the gingerbread man. You're a monster. I'm not the monster. Here you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others? Eat me. You're I have to. I have Megan, sir. Parking so close to that car in the beginning and she got out of the car.
01;18;25;24 - 01;18;48;23
Great. Like she climbs out the window, but chances are in Grovers bend, the car next to her belongs to an elderly person. Yeah. And so, you know, that's just rude statistics or, just the odds. It seemed like a pretty old town. That they would have not the same ease of getting in and out of a window to get into their car, and so.
01;18;48;23 - 01;19;10;04
Fuck you, Megan. Q and number two, I have. Maybe that's why they call it Grover's Bend. Because if the bend your way through cars. Because Megan keeps parking. Yeah, like a shithead. Speaking of Megan, like when Bradley is in the truck with her and she's, like, being really cryptic about who she is. And then she says pony tail braces, zits.
01;19;10;04 - 01;19;33;23
And he was like, Megan Morgan, is that you? Yeah. This is not my girl that had a ponytail and zits and some braces. Like what? That's hilarious. He's like, wait, let me think. I'm. I'm now filtering through every single girl I do in high school because that's how you described, but my next real monster is like daycare kids, right?
01;19;33;26 - 01;20;00;23
So critters in and of themselves. Yeah. Exactly. So when kids eat and paste the other kid is like stabbing a doll relentlessly with a red like pen or something. And you know, from a real life experience, there was a kid in my daughter's daycare class who was just licking the walls, just straight up licking the walls, the various taste stuff.
01;20;00;28 - 01;20;30;13
Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. And, like, I just, like, walked out, like, what the fuck? And because of that, in turn, my daughter at home licked a wall and I said, no, we don't lick walls. So that's what I got daycare kids and Megan for being just an inconsiderate prick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Casey. So I also have two, so first, it's funny that we, had mentioned Koga Togo.
01;20;30;15 - 01;20;39;15
It is funny that we had mentioned to Kojo. Kojak. Kojak. Yeah.
01;20;39;17 - 01;21;01;07
It's funny that we mentioned Cujo earlier in this episode because during the Cujo episode, my real monster was the saying, don't let the bedbugs bite. And they say that in this movie as well. And again, is one of my real monsters is a saying, don't let the bedbugs bite because it is disgusting. Well, even this girl said she's going to bite them back.
01;21;01;09 - 01;21;21;17
Well, yeah. I was like, sorry, honey, you can't Yeah. So but that that was one, my second one was that, these people keep driving with their windows down, and, they already know that the crates can, like, roll and jump into their windows, but they still just keep driving with their windows down. Yeah. That's true.
01;21;21;17 - 01;21;41;24
So come on. This whole town is a bunch of a, full of a bunch of knuckleheads. Yeah, I don't think they're very smart, but that's okay. That's all I got. Okay? All right. Is there. There's got to be a movie called bedbugs, right? Like creepy, oversize bugs that, people gross in their sleep. Yeah, that would be fun.
01;21;41;27 - 01;22;08;04
Yeah. Or it could be like, you know, how there's, like, movies that are just, like, the bugs aren't necessarily like, giant. They're just. Oh, there's just, like, a lot of them there. A lot of it could just be like bedbugs. Just. It was so gross. Anyways, I like it. Like, I like that movie square and where it's all about earthworms and there's just, like a bazillion of them, you know, what you feel like, you know, like you want the cold side of your pillow.
01;22;08;04 - 01;22;26;05
So what if, like, we know that there's a bunch of bugs underneath, but the character doesn't throw away? Oh, my God, Danny. And we we've set it up earlier where she's always like, oh, I hate the worms. You know, I need the cold side of my pillow you're waiting for. And then finally she does it. And it just like the grossest display of bedbugs.
01;22;26;05 - 01;22;43;21
And they all just like you, realize they've already kind of slowly gone into her ear. So it's like, you know, an ants in, like, take it up, Kingdom of the Crystal skull and they create, like, a little tower. What if it's like this? A little like ladder of bedbugs coming out of her ear, and they're just, like, crawling on top of each other to get inside?
01;22;43;24 - 01;23;12;10
Because, like, they also. So they want the warm side. Yeah, man. To hide. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, that is awesome. She's about to puke. All of that I like that. Oh, I want to write this. What are your monsters, Danny? Because I have to as well. Too many. I have Quigley for licking the dog food off the spoon, which is big.
01;23;12;10 - 01;23;33;13
No, no. Oh, yeah. So gross. I missed that, but. Okay, Cindy, for putting her chocolate bunny on the floor. It reminded me of Zach. I feel like we should bring this up because I feel like this is the new apple and unimproved version of the half of the apple on the table. Yeah, dude, I don't know why I didn't write that down because I sure thought of it first.
01;23;33;19 - 01;23;55;29
First it went the price of real monster went to Nina for just having it unwrapped. Chocolate bunny in her bag, and then she go with gold eggs. Yeah. And then. Yeah. And then she sets it on the floor next to her, like the vent, and it just, like, starts to melt and then. Okay, one thing I didn't mention, Danny, I'm sorry that I kind of took this over for a second.
01;23;56;04 - 01;24;21;26
I like I didn't need the thunder stealing the the dad comes in steps on the fucking the crate and squishes it. Right. And then any like, normal parent would be like, Cindy, what the fuck? Why? Why is there Easter candy and melted chocolate all over your fucking floor right now? But he's like, oh, Cindy, I'm sorry I crushed your Easter candy.
01;24;21;26 - 01;24;43;11
And it's all gooey under my it's like, it's it's green. Sorry, dude, I was like that. What kind of dad is this? Like, get real. He deserves a porcupine. Needle back. Anyways, what do you think is worse? Shirley? Agree with you, Danny. What's worse? A chocolate open unwrap chocolate bunny on the floor. Or I have the an apple on a table.
01;24;43;13 - 01;25;05;12
I will definitely give it to the unwrapped chocolate bunny on the floor. Damn. All right, you guys, you heard it. Here. You can now eat half eaten apples on the table. Zach said. That's fine. Now you can put them wet side down. That's great. Wow. We cured. Use egg. As long as you don't put a, a melted chocolate bunny on your,
01;25;05;14 - 01;25;23;07
Because. How are you going to clean that up? Yeah. That's awful. If nothing else, your dad might step in it. Yeah. And then apologize to you. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, whatever. Well, maybe if you're trying to connect with your dad and you feel like you haven't. He hasn't been, like, very aware of you. And you need, like, an apology for something.
01;25;23;07 - 01;25;44;19
Put a chocolate bunny on your floor. When he steps on that, he will apologize. And critters to their fixing family, familial relationships. Yeah. All right. What are we talking about? All right, real, I also have, that. Speaking of shitty daycare kids, the kid for pushing the egg off the table, then throwing it out the window.
01;25;44;21 - 01;26;13;09
He just, like, looks at it. Looks around like a little fucking like a Damien. Yeah, just. Yeah, like a cat. And just, like, flicks it off. I also have a few more. I thought you said you had to know too many. Oh I have Brad for saying who we gonna call Critter Busters. Yeah. I was like, I'm like does I just say who are we going to call?
01;26;13;09 - 01;26;38;22
Or like, yeah, don't talk, just don't talk. I also Brad, again for making Charlie doubt himself about being a bounty hunter when Charlie, who is like, yes, taking the initiative to make friends. Yeah. He's like become something. And he's like, I'm a bounty hunter. Brad's like, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I get that. It's sad. Like he's literally in the bounty hunter outfit.
01;26;38;22 - 01;27;00;18
He's traveling with these space people. What more proof do you need? Well, you need to bring it all back. Fucking kids and teenagers are so fucking mean. Yeah, to the old guys like us. Yeah. I bet Brad plays Friday the 13th online. The game probably. Probably does. Yeah. He's probably bullied a lot of 35 year olds and like older and older guys like plays.
01;27;00;18 - 01;27;23;02
Like I'm pretty good at this game. He's like, yeah right. Like yeah, right. Why why are we why are we doing this? Why? I mean, why is why are we doing that? And then my last one is just like the general use of ground meat in this movie between. Yeah, the dog food that I mentioned earlier, the meat factory ground meat fan, it's just like, no, no, no no no no no, I don't like it.
01;27;23;06 - 01;27;45;20
I like it when they were fucking planting all the explosives in that thing, like just sticking their hands in ground meat. They were just like, do it like that shit. Like like. Yeah. Like hollowing out the thing of ground meat to, like, stick it, but you don't need to do it. It's like you to the fact that your hand, you've proven to us that your hand can easily go through it to move.
01;27;45;20 - 01;28;04;24
It means the stick of dynamite can also just go through it. Yeah, they probably, you know, it was probably so that we would be grossed out. Yeah. That's true. Just gonna. Yeah. But no, that's a fair point because it worked. Casey, you're such a critters two apologist. Yeah, I'm looking out for them for sure. Oh, they appreciate it.
01;28;04;26 - 01;28;24;15
Okay, I appreciate it. Oh, bringing it back. Gotta throw in some more. We're almost done with the episode. I gotta throw in as many more egg puns as we can. We also have two more episodes about eggs, so this is gonna take over so much of our lives. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, now it is time for our final segment.
01;28;24;18 - 01;28;50;20
Would you survive a crate attack in critters two? And here we go. Absolutely. Would you? Yeah. So people in this town are fucking stupid. Yeah, well, that's what I said. I said yes to because I always think survival in horror movies always starts by always believing the guy that everyone hates. Yeah, of course, who's trying to warn everyone about the monsters.
01;28;50;20 - 01;29;10;10
But here's the thing. This is how you survive. You then push him into harm's way, and you take his place as the hero of the story. Because just because you're with the guy, there's a higher chance that you're going to die in the process. You're right. He's the hero. Yeah. So find him. Kill him. Take his place. Anyway.
01;29;10;13 - 01;29;28;19
So, yeah, I would do that and live perfect. Yeah, I think I would probably survive the crates as long as they didn't get me with the quills. The quills are what I would be worried about. They are under utilized. I'd argue they should be shooting the crows at everyone and then eating their victims. Yeah, yeah. Like agreed.
01;29;28;26 - 01;29;55;12
Yeah. See, they're not even smart. No, I mean, I guess they are just a bunch of hairy balls. Yeah, nothing dumber than a bunch of balls. KC agrees with that. Yep. So, guys, that's it. That's our episode. That's it. A multitude of topics and critters is our episode on critters. Critters and you air quotes critters too. Well, listeners, I hope you enjoyed this.
01;29;55;14 - 01;30;19;07
This was. Oh, you enjoyed this? This main course? Yes. That was another thing that fucking Siskel and Ebert said in their little review, saying they were like, this one's called the main course. And there's like, oh, so I guess part one's the appetizer. Well, the appetizers even even tastier than the main course. It's filled me up with all of its dumb.
01;30;19;09 - 01;30;22;26
I've just.
01;30;22;28 - 01;30;33;02
Just empty calories. That's what he should have said about main course. It sure is. Empty calories. Yeah. Shut up Danny.
01;30;33;04 - 01;30;56;09
No. But I, will stand by credits to. It is very fun. You know, you literally are standing by critters two. You have the critters two poster in the background. I do, I have the posters. Okay. The fuck was that? Zach just pointed and did a really cool dance. 38 year old man dance. 38 year old white man dance.
01;30;56;12 - 01;31;23;14
A 38 straight white man. This is the worst kind. It was pretty impressive. Impressive. I mean, his attempt to embarrass himself. Well, you know, one time, when I was in, like, my 20s, early 20s, like, go in places drunk with your friends, and you go to a place and you dance with people. And some girl said that I was fucking up her little grooves.
01;31;23;14 - 01;31;51;10
And so I've never danced. Oh, I've never danced again. No. You know, I'm never going to get, you know, it's true. Like, oh, that's the origin story to the mayor of or not, the mayor isn't the priest. And so footloose. Oh, yeah. Yeah. John Lithgow, he's the priest. The reverend. But, yeah. So just so you know, even if you're drunk at a bar, your words can hurt people.
01;31;51;13 - 01;32;10;12
Yeah, yeah. So you got to go out. You got to go dancing, though. Yeah, we got to get this. We got to fix this. Yeah, we got us. We got to see. We got to bring dancing back into your life. Yeah. I'll just watch Footloose. I'll be fine. Okay, guys, everybody's got a footloose, cut loose but loose.
01;32;10;15 - 01;32;40;12
Kick up your Sunday shoes, Jack. Get back me up. What? Jacks me up. I don't want to dance anymore because I'm getting jacked up by Jack. That's the lyrics, right? Yeah. Almost positive. That's. Are the lyrics. Yeah. That the bunny rabbit sings as he's spraying his seed plants. Yeah, right. Yeah. Full circle. That's what you walk down to in the morning and Easter morning.
01;32;40;12 - 01;33;08;27
Like, oh my God, a bunny rabbit is like, It's trying to get the lyrics out. Okay. Oh my God. I'm looking at our, listener. We have a chart that shows our listeners they're all going, hey, let's make this sound effect. Yeah, they were all left. All right, well, that is our first feature in our rotten eggs triple feature critters two.
01;33;08;29 - 01;33;34;14
Good luck. Let's do. Let's buckle up. Casey, what are we, going to try to get through next? Try? We are going to watch one of my favorite movies. Brr. We're watching aliens. Let us. Aliens are aliens. Second sequel. Oh. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Very much looking forward to watching aliens. Me too. And, seeing some more eggs.
01;33;34;16 - 01;33;56;05
Yeah, I'm mostly excited about the, the eggs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, I mean, they are a really cool part of that movie. But. Okay, you can follow us on our social media channels. We are on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at how I Met Your Monster. Where can our listeners find you guys on social media if they want to follow you?
01;33;56;08 - 01;34;20;27
I am on Instagram. Wolf mother Casey. You mean eggs to gram? Yes, I Instagram, I'm on Instagram and Blue Sky at my name. It's just Danny, Salem De and NY Sally me that's two M's like the candy melt in your butt of color. Melt in your egg hole. Not in here. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to go for it.
01;34;20;29 - 01;35;02;20
You know, I was thinking, like chocolate Eminem's. I thought you're going to do Cadbury eggs. Yes, but that's okay. But, but but Cadbury Eggs isn't his name Eminem's or. Right. But But but but egg ho And you can find me on social media. An exact coincidence. And that is critters to. Thank you all for listening. Now go meet some monsters.