Today, we kick off our KILLER COMICS triple feature with Stephen Norrington’s cinematic showcase of sunburnt suckheads. The blood sprinklers are spraying, the daywalker is slaying, and we’re trying to figure out why Blade has a blade, but Whistler never whistles, as we hop into a 1968 Dodge Charger to meet Deacon Frost and his raving legion of bloodthirsty vampires in BLADE.
Today, we kick off our KILLER COMICS triple feature with Stephen Norrington’s cinematic showcase of sunburnt suckheads. The blood sprinklers are spraying, the daywalker is slaying, and we’re trying to figure out why Blade has a blade, but Whistler never whistles, as we hop into a 1968 Dodge Charger to meet Deacon Frost and his raving legion of bloodthirsty vampires in BLADE, starring Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff, Kris Kristofferson, N'Bushe Wright, Donal Logue, Udo Kier, and Traci Lords.
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Today we kick off our Killer Comics triple feature with Stephen Norrington. Cinematic showcase of sunburnt seconds. The blood sprinklers are spraying. The Daywalker is slaying, and we're trying to figure out why blade has a blade, but Whistler never whistles. As we hop into a 1968 Dodge Charger to meet Deacon Frost and his raving legion of bloodthirsty vampires in blade.
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You're listening to how I Met Your Monster. A podcast that explores the introductions to your favorite movie monsters. My name is Zack. I'm Danny and I'm Casey, and together we dive into the world of horror to find out how filmmakers have introduced us to our favorite monsters time and time again. This is how I met your most.
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Welcome to how I Met Your Monster, this show where we discuss the introductions to your favorite movie monsters. If you are not subscribed to our show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or even YouTube, go ahead and follow along so you never miss cool episodes like our brand new triple feature Killer Comics healer. You know, you could watch comics, I thought, or read them.
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You can do whatever the fuck you want with comics. I mean, let's keep it PG 13. You can never. When are you telling me I can like a comic? Roll it up. Put some lube in there. Oh. See that? You got yourself a pocket butthole. Yeah, dude, a fucking papercut. Oh, my God, no. Oh, my God, the pages aren't all ripped up.
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Come on. Oh. You. Oh, you knew you could take a comic and an old comic that you don't use, and you can chop it up, but don't. Oh, don't worry, we're not throwing it away. Oh, we're chopping it up. We're making papier maché. And then, like, it's like that feels somehow safer now. Yeah. You can take a dodo with it.
00;01;56;16 - 00;02;22;06
Yeah. Good. Take a dick. Dick. Oh, five guys, today we're not talking about dicks or dildos. We're talking about blades. I assure you, we are. We're gonna talk about Dixons all the same. You just. You hold your horses there. We're talking about blade. This is our first movie in our Killer Comics triple feature, which was suggested to us by our listeners.
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Zane. Thanks, Zane. Thank you. So you guys do a triple feature? Yeah. He didn't ask me to do it. It was mostly based on threads. This is a thread based triple feature. But he suggested we do a movie based on horror movies that were, you know what I'm saying? Based on comics? Yes. We know.
00;02;43;04 - 00;03;01;05
And so you're saying we know since and, so, yeah, if you guys, listeners out there, if you have any suggestions for movies we should do or triple features, let us know, because the proof is in the pudding. We might just fucking do it. Just can't be killer comics because we're doing it now. Yeah, and it's the idea.
00;03;01;05 - 00;03;21;13
So back the fuck off. Yeah. Garth, we're here to protect Zane. No, but this is blade. This is really fucking cool. I had not seen this movie. I saw it once, maybe twice, when it first came out in 98. And so I hadn't seen it in, you know, a long fucking time. And it was really fucking cool.
00;03;21;16 - 00;03;40;00
Yeah. You guys. Yeah. It was, I was, I remember having good memories of this, but my memories were locked in like 1998. So I was about ten years old, and I probably thought a lot of things were cool. So it was a nice, a pleasant surprise to see that it is it it holds up quite a bit.
00;03;40;00 - 00;04;04;24
This is really cool. I was actually surprised. Yeah. Why don't I watch this more regularly? It's just like a fun horror romp. Yeah, yeah. My brother and I watched this movie a lot growing up, so much so that we wanted tattoos. Oh, that's matching with tattoos, brothers. That's so cool. So we watched a lot growing up. But that being said, I still haven't seen it probably in almost 20 years, like since I graduated high school, so I didn't remember a lot of it.
00;04;04;24 - 00;04;26;03
But I'm very pleasantly surprised that it is still a really good movie. Just a lot of fun, you know? It, it doesn't stop. It gets started with the blood rave in the beginning, and then it just is. What a scene. Go, go, go from there. And the action is really good. Yeah. It's fantastic. What's funny? This is this came out a year before The Matrix and I was getting heavy metal for sure.
00;04;26;05 - 00;04;45;18
Yeah. They had like down to from the trench coats to they even had bullet time. Yeah. And then there's even a fight scene toward the end when they're in like the hallway. And it straight up looks so similar to the big shootout at the end of The Matrix with, Neo and Trinity. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like little details.
00;04;45;18 - 00;05;11;00
Like even just like the design of the hallway. I was like, oh, is there actually the matrix one is played. The one they do call them. The chosen One is the. Okay. Well think about it. It's neo is an anagram of one and he is the one. Blade is an anagram of Dale. Yeah.
00;05;11;02 - 00;05;18;00
Day of the jokes. And one.
00;05;18;03 - 00;05;43;08
It has to be Dallas, because there's. Oh, shit. You're missing the doors. It's Dale. Dale. Whistler's like we should consider just un anagram. And your name is. So back to blade. It's a little bit more intimidating. No. Yeah. You could just choose to not put in certain letters if you don't want to. Just not call yours of that.
00;05;43;11 - 00;05;48;06
How excited about this episode for Dale?
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Is Dale is such a good character. And, like, you didn't even know he existed. Yeah. Went right over my head when I was a kid, but okay. He's not Dale, he's blade, and he's a marvel character. Yes. This was. Yeah. I think there's some, like you I've heard before that, like, this was like the first Marvel movie, but it's not.
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It's considered the first successful Marvel movie. There was more that came before it, including, number of Incredible Hulk movies. Yeah, a few Captain America movies and even the Punisher and Howard the Duck was. Yeah, well, our movie Howard the Duck wasn't the most successful one, right, I love yeah. That's funny. This is, X-Men usually gets the 2001 usually gets credit for sort of galvanizing the Marvel brand on the big screen.
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But yeah, blade came in slicing and dicing. I think people don't think of this as a marvel, like they forget that it's Marvel because it's vampires, right? Right. And and I wish I had more understanding of the comics I can be. So I could like, kind of form a stronger opinion or like of, like what? Whether or not it is even similar to the comics.
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But I am coming in as more I mean, he's a vampire who's trying not to be a vampire who fights vampires. That's just the comics in the movie. So, yeah. So actually in the comics. So he was created in 1973, in a comic called The Tomb of Dracula. And in the comics, he was not actually a daywalker.
00;07;22;22 - 00;07;41;12
He was a human who was immune to being turned into a vampire. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, apparently. And, like, you know, this is just me doing research. I have never I have never read the comics. But I guess he was a human who was immune to being turned into a vampire. And I read that he was bitten by Morbius.
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Okay, see, that makes sense. Which I don't know if. If he's immune to being a vampire. How? Like what happens when he was bitten by Morbius? I don't know all that. Yeah, well, I would say that I like, for the movies sake that they turn out that they made him a vampire. Yeah. So much more interesting. Yeah.
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Because they even have like that great line where Frost says, you know, you have all of our strengths, none of our weaknesses, which is such a and then blade is sort of like I don't see it that way. So you already like the complexity levels are just like increase quite significantly. Right. To like what they were working with from the comics.
00;08;16;01 - 00;08;41;05
Right. And blade was originally brought to New Line Cinema by Ernest Dickerson. Ernest Dickerson directed Demon Knight. That's so funny. So just for a little context, listeners, we have a little shared Google doc where we write up our intros for the show. And underneath this is the intro for, one of our upcoming episodes, The Demon Knight.
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I mentioned Ernest Dickerson, and another movie that Ernest Dickerson directed was, Fucking Surviving the Game, which I used to watch a lot. Do you guys ever see that movie with Ice-T? So familiar? Oh, no. Ice tea and Rutger Hauer and Gary Busey, Charles Dutton, they, like, go out to the fucking woods and hunt. Hunt him? Ice-T. No.
00;09;04;28 - 00;09;25;01
Oh, so it's like the best, but yeah, it's like it's it's like a serious version of the past. Isn't the past a funny version of, oh, surviving the game? Yeah, I think it's all. They're all like. They're all like, cut from the same cloth. Whatever. That old movie was, most dangerous game. Is that what it is?
00;09;25;01 - 00;09;50;05
Yeah. Right. Right. Is that some. Yeah. The most dangerous game. You're right. Okay. Game. You know, short story. Very Richard Connell. There was actually a serial killer in Alaska who did that. Really? That's also fucked up. He would set prostitutes out in the woods. Dang. Cat people are sick. Okay, so we talked about, Ernest Dickerson. Now let's talk about who actually directed it was Stephen Norrington.
00;09;50;07 - 00;10;20;06
There's no dick in his name unless his middle name is Richard. Oh. Dude, speaking of Richard and Dick's. Oh, my God, it's all tied together for even knowing what's happening. He actually had previously worked on a movie called hardware, which was directed by Richard Stanley of Ireland, of Doctor Moreau fame. Richard Stanley, also known as Dick Stanley Dick Stanley, Dick Stanley, Tex was a dick stand.
00;10;20;13 - 00;10;42;01
It's like these would be great for our decoupage. Decoupage, of what were you gonna say? Dick stand is like a kickstand, but using a dick, I wasn't, but no, no, no, I think that's what Zach was going to say. I was thinking, like, book ends, but, like, oh, I was picturing a guy just whipping and stick out and leaning on it.
00;10;42;01 - 00;11;16;29
But instead of two bookends, two penises just coming at you to hold you in place. Yeah, like, God. Okay. Yeah. Written by David S Goyer, who, has written a lot of things. Yeah. He's including those success ventriloquists for Nolan, Batman movies. He knows a lot about bats. Oh, my God, bats and blades. Speaking of which, there was a movie that came out in the 90s called bats and oh yeah, the poster for it tried to be clever by making the it go upside down.
00;11;17;05 - 00;11;35;24
It's like bats hanging upside down. So it says stab. And I just assume the movie is called stab. And like as a kid, like, yeah, pretty dumb on my, but yeah, pretty dumb kids. But strange marketing when you think about it, I guess. I mean, if you're hey, it's cool. It made me. It made me look.
00;11;35;26 - 00;11;56;15
That mean we're talking about it 30 years later? Didn't that have, Lou Diamond Philip in it? Lou Diamond Phillips, Philip oops. And Wesley Snipes, who famously plays the character of blade. Was it before he came on to this? He was trying to get Black Panther made in 1906, you know, and so it wasn't I mean, it was like, what?
00;11;56;20 - 00;12;27;20
When did Black Panther come out in 21, 2018 something 2018. So long time, do you think it was, you know, I don't know. I mean, think of Pierce when it came out with Chadwick Boseman and he was probably in jail for tax fraud. Oh yeah, maybe. Well, it's interesting because they are there's a lot of, there's some issues going on with the new the the reboot of the, the new Marvel Blade movie with Mahershala Ali and, oh, Mia Goth.
00;12;27;22 - 00;12;52;17
Apparently I had heard rumors that it's shelved. I don't really know permanently, but I knew that they were running into a lot of issues, with different versions of the scripts and, I know right now the like, they have a director, apparently Mahershala Ali and the cast is still on board, but, yeah, not sure, but funny enough, and I'm sorry if this is a spoiler.
00;12;52;20 - 00;13;16;24
I haven't seen the movie, but, It's okay. I feel like the second I mentioned. What the spoiler are you guys fans of Marvel movies? It's a spoiler for a recent Marvel movie. I am sorry, I am not. Have you seen all the recent Marvel movies? Not all of them. Okay. Can I spoil this thing? No. Can you put Disney trailers for movies?
00;13;16;26 - 00;13;34;06
Why do you need to spoil it? But it's because it's so specific to this conversation. Yeah, but you might be spoiling it for listeners to XXL. Oh. I know what you're talking about. All right, if Zack knows what I'm talking about, then you, the listener, probably also know what I'm talking about. Oh. I don't care if you spoil it.
00;13;34;06 - 00;13;51;28
I don't care for Marvel movies, but. Okay. But I but I know what you're talking about. Well, I'll say this. There is a thing that happens I'm going to post related to the. I'm going to fly to San Francisco tomorrow. That is something to do with what we're saying, Casey, do you need to do you need or do you need a refill on your bubbly drink?
00;13;51;28 - 00;14;15;11
No, you guys don't need to talk about it. Let's just talk about Blaine. I'm trying to. I know what he wants to get out. A specific thing I've ever talked about. All right, just say it. No, no, no, I won't do that. I feel like we should be paid by, Marvel and Disney right now because we are adding a lot of history and, yeah, surrounding the Marvel, the current Marvel franchise.
00;14;15;11 - 00;14;29;24
So. Yeah. You're welcome. Bob Iger we we we aim to please. All right. Well then let's just move on. We we want to talk about we won't talk about blade anymore today.
00;14;29;27 - 00;14;48;05
I guess L.L. cool J was interested in this role early on. Oh, I don't think he was ever offered it, but I think there was, like, talk of him that like, he was. I can't imagine anyone but Wesley Snipes. Yeah, because he's so good in it. Yeah, yeah, I think I j I don't think he would be serious enough though.
00;14;48;07 - 00;15;04;16
Yeah, but maybe it's just because I only think about preacher and what I was going to say, you know, bird on his fucking shoulder. Exactly. Imagine like LL cool J in the Deacon Frost role. Like kind of hamming it up. Oh, but I feel like that would be fun. Obviously it would be a very different take on it.
00;15;04;18 - 00;15;17;14
Stephen Dorff has a very different energy. I can't picture LL cool J with, 90s emo anime hair, so yeah, that's the one thing that they would carry over.
00;15;17;17 - 00;15;40;15
Picture that exact haircut on this. Like, no, like there is like a level of calm involved with that and I. Yeah, I feel like it would be iconic. It is. Yeah. Like this insane look it just committed to it. His hair. Deacon brown hair in this movie. Yeah. It's so funny. It is anime hair. And how do I remember him being so cool as, like, because it was cool in the 90s.
00;15;40;17 - 00;16;03;13
He's very like, quote unquote. He's very cool. Yeah, he is, but his hair is like anime. Like it is. It looks like an anime wig. It's literally. Yeah, his little legion is made up of an anime character, kid Rock and baby's face, and they come so close to not relating the 90s, man. And we should be ashamed of ourselves as humans for 97.
00;16;03;13 - 00;16;33;00
Yes. So these, I guess in the comics, Deacon Frost was actually like he was a church deacon, like, oh, that's where the name literally. Yeah. So his name could be anything. I wish that that would happen. But I think, like in the movie, I don't think that's the case. I don't think he, like, was a deacon. I wish that would have been created into the story though, that, yeah, I, I like it when, when they mixed like religious stuff with kind of well, it's sort of like we had just recorded our Toxic Avenger commentary.
00;16;33;00 - 00;16;58;28
Yeah, the other night. And, the villains in that movie are like, horrific. But the second they mention, obviously it's played for laughs there, but the second they mentioned religion there is like, sincerity to it. And it continued really serious. So that is but but it makes it really disturbing. So when you have someone like deacon who is so committed to like wiping the world out, like killing the entire human race, but then also takes religion very seriously.
00;16;59;00 - 00;17;18;02
And the profound thing for him, something about that, like juxtaposition always disturbs me in movies because, like, you can find the like, you can center yourself with that. Why can't you center yourself with this? And I think that's what makes people really scary, like a Hannibal Lecter. It's like a private conversation with you. Why are you still thinking about eating me?
00;17;18;05 - 00;17;42;22
Oh, yeah. Like that. Yeah, that's about, Okay. Well, you guys ready to go to, fucking Metropolis? Know where the fuck does this take place? This? Oh, yeah. You know, Metropolis is DC. Never mind, got there. So this, I guess Marvel just takes place in Arkham. Our world, right? That's really fucking DC. Yeah, I'm pretty sure, like the Avengers.
00;17;42;25 - 00;18;11;25
Sorry. York City, I know this is a killer. Comics triple feature, but I don't know much about comics, so. Okay. No place in, like, a major city, LA. Let's do Charlotte. Toronto. Okay. It takes place in LA. Oh, it does in LA. I know that. Okay. So Los Angeles, let's head to Los Angeles. You know, 1968 Dodge Charger and and some 90s boy bands.
00;18;11;27 - 00;18;41;22
Just like a bunch of this is when, like, rave culture was at its peak. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This movie was like, no, no, no, no, no, let's you gotta take them all out. This is he was we ate raves. By the way, I should point out, if you didn't grow up in the 90s, raves were so prominent that in an episode of Boy Meets World, when these two high schoolers want to throw what is turns out to just be like a dance party, they keep calling it a rave and it's like it sets you up.
00;18;41;22 - 00;19;02;24
I remember I remember watching this episode as a kid for the first time being like, where is this going? Yeah, it's like my basic knowledge of what a rave was was not. What you get at the end of the episode is genuinely like, oh, Cory Matthews is about to like, get freaky, and that's Molly. And ticks everywhere. So just fucking blood all over all of them.
00;19;02;27 - 00;19;31;10
It literally ends with the monkeys, the actual members of the monkeys coming to play My girl in a burger joint, and that's the rave. I think old people made that show. Yeah. What are the kids doing these days? Raving. I'll do it. My girl. Oh, yeah? Yeah, we need a rave version. Oh my God. Din din din din.
00;19;31;13 - 00;20;07;09
I feel like there's something like eating into it. Yeah. 0000, here we go. Oh, yeah. Oh, is Danny a beatboxer? I didn't even notice cause I get a beatbox car. No, no. Yeah. You know, to make it complete, Danny, you need the the little headlight glasses at the fucking DJ in this movie. I was wearing everything. I would literally I would, I would wear those, like, two, okay, let's just, let's go to a rave in Los Angeles.
00;20;07;12 - 00;20;12;21
And.
00;20;12;23 - 00;20;24;14
You.
00;20;24;16 - 00;20;44;17
All right, so this was my choice for our killer comics triple feature. Suggested by Zane. I think he suggested blade. Actually, I think he did, as one of our as one of our choices. And so we were like, fuck yeah, we're doing blade. And so for blade, we have what we come up with nine official monster reveals.
00;20;44;21 - 00;21;09;18
And if you're new to the show, a monster reveal is any time that a monster in the movie is revealed. Two characters in the movie, or to us as an audience is counted as a official reveal. And so I'm going to go ahead and read the synopsis for blade via IMDb. A half vampire, half mortal man becomes a protector of the mortal race while slaying evil vampires.
00;21;09;20 - 00;21;30;25
Yeah, that would imply that there are vampires who are still reading the way that you had it. IMDb. Don't blow it with the word Yeah, there probably are vampires that aren't evil. Yeah, listen, I would love to be a vampire, but if I was a vampire, I wouldn't just kill innocent people. Oh, you'd be like a Dexter vampire.
00;21;30;28 - 00;21;54;18
I mean, not necessarily. I probably would find people who are almost dead. Give me some. But then you have to. I mean, I guess it depends on the rules and all different vampire laws. Different. But like in the Anne Rice world of vampires, you have to be careful. Like it has to be super fresh. So yeah, if a person's not someone and they're about to die, just for like, I wonder if.
00;21;54;18 - 00;22;20;26
But I wonder if you would, like, take in. Like, if someone was ill, could you get their illness? No. Would that affect a vampire? Vampires don't die. That's true. But they just. What if they inherited a cold from one of their victims? They just had a cold for the rest of their life. Like, goddamn it right? There was so many questions that I had in this movie that I was like, well, if this happens, then why is it like like, so, like when the guy kept getting his hands cut off.
00;22;20;26 - 00;22;39;18
Well, and then they, like, regenerate. Yeah. No, but they were questions that I had that eventually ended up getting answered, like later in the movie, like, you know, they're talking about pure bloods, like budo cures. Character was like, I was born a vampire. And I was like, okay, if you were born a vampire, why are you old now?
00;22;39;18 - 00;23;01;09
Yeah, I had, and I was like, what the fuck? But then later, whistlers like, they don't they age slower than humans. And I was like, okay. So they still age just slower. So like yeah. Who does that really fucking old imagine being a fucking baby vampire for like 50 years. 50 years. Oh yeah. That's a movie that's hilarious.
00;23;01;12 - 00;23;13;04
That's like baby geniuses. But with vampires. Yeah. Like your fucking brain builds. But you still don't have anybody.
00;23;13;07 - 00;23;33;24
It'd be like the baby from Roger rabbit. Oh, yeah. I was thinking of the Marlon Wayans as the where he's like, oh, yeah, what is that? He's a baby. I've never seen it. I just remember seeing the trailer for it. And he, like, acts like he's a baby. Maybe it's not the same bro, but that's the first thing that came to mind was they think he's a baby.
00;23;34;00 - 00;24;01;10
Actually. The baby, the baby from what did you reference? It's Roger rabbit. Roger rabbit. Yeah. So anyways, and then there was another question, which so this is another question that I had that doesn't get answered in the movie, but it was answered in a deleted scene. So later when we get to Frost and he's talking about like, oh, the blood gods coming and he's going to turn anybody he sees into a vampire and the world is going to be vampires.
00;24;01;13 - 00;24;24;10
I was thinking, dude, what the fuck are you going to eat then? If everybody's a fucking vampire, what are you going to eat? And I guess later in that scene that was cut, Karen poses that question like, oh, so what are you going to eat then? And they had this idea that was developed, in pre-production of like, blood bags.
00;24;24;10 - 00;24;52;21
They would keep some humans alive in these, like, giant blood bags and harvest just to keep the blood, just to. How is that what we saw in the beginning? When they go to the raves, they show a bunch of, like. Like beef. Like frozen beef, like, you see in, like, a slaughterhouse. And then they quickly roll by it, by this, what looks like if you were to look at it, looks like the same thing, but it's clearly humans in body bags, but it's transparent.
00;24;52;24 - 00;25;11;21
I wonder if they're sort of opening the. Yeah, because I think you I think they did film some of it, but I didn't notice that in the beginning. But I think that's probably because the guy probably first guy me and I'm kind of I'm sorry. I'm like jumping ahead. But he kind of does like a double take where they're kind of pulling him into the race and he's like, but just as quickly it's gone.
00;25;11;23 - 00;25;34;24
Okay, oh, I need to make sense of. I was going to say that makes sense because they're probably pulling the blood to put it in the sprinklers, which is also a great dude observation because it shows, for us, recklessness and immaturity because it's such like a waste of that. Like, if you really are have this plan that Udo cares character is sort of like, dude, we've been doing this for centuries.
00;25;34;24 - 00;25;55;23
What are you doing? Like, quit at this, like new age? Yeah. He wants to be a vampire. Should be. Yeah. And like we see that right away. It's like he's like quite literally wasting it and yeah. There's a really cool like to this whole like I love this storyline of being like do we coexist with the humans.
00;25;55;23 - 00;26;11;01
Do we do this, do we stay in the shadows? Are we should we take over it? Whatever. If you guys haven't watched True Blood, I highly recommend true, but it's a really good show. It dips for a little bit and you're kind of like, the show should be over, but then it gets really good again. Then did get canceled.
00;26;11;03 - 00;26;33;02
Anyways. There's like a whole like, storyline about like, kind of like this where there's like a council and they're like, do we go the vampire way? Do we exist with humans? Do we do this? And then someone wants to take over and it's really it's really fucking cool. I don't like blood. I never got into it, but I feel like everybody like it.
00;26;33;02 - 00;26;53;29
Well, I never watched it. I do love Anna Paquin. I hate Anna Paquin. Oh. And I can't say I'm such an incredible actor, I think I don't agree. And also, they stole Christopher Meloni from Law and Order. They did? Yeah. For no reason. He's he's actually a key I know character in that storyline that I'm talking about.
00;26;53;29 - 00;27;20;05
I know and then I know what happens. So it was Christopher Meloni. But they made sure to save Christopher Meloni. See. Yeah. Wet hot American summer. Oh yeah. Seasons. And it is good. I love it so much I love it. Yeah I don't know. Stefan Kosovars is an underrated actor, but he is one of those I mean who kind of I wish was more.
00;27;20;05 - 00;27;40;10
Yeah he I guess he is a lot. Yeah. His performance okay we can move on. But his performance in Wet Hot American Summer and the following two series are some of the lines you will ever see on screen, ever. It's like, talk about someone, like understanding the bit and committing to it, even when the bit itself doesn't really make sense.
00;27;40;12 - 00;28;01;02
But, you know, makes it makes sense because I'm like, oh, I get the tone. I get everything about this movie. Yeah, this is yeah. He like, believes it so much that we're like, okay, I get it, I get it, I'm going to go hump a fridge. Would you say? I said, I'm going to go hump a fridge. I might go fondle my sweaters.
00;28;01;04 - 00;28;33;27
Do you think you're gonna go find some sweaters? No, I said, what is he saying? I'm fine. He said, I'm pretty sure you said you're going to go find some sweater. He's like, shut up. So, okay. Anyways, there are nine official reveals in blade, starting with, well, we're going to start with the honorable mention. It's not really a computer, it's not really an official reveal because we're not we don't know what he is, but we do see blade being born and, we know that the mom has been bit by a vampire.
00;28;33;29 - 00;28;59;06
And so we kind of assume. But, yeah, our first official reveal is the blood rage, which is just a really fucking cool, wide open movie. It is so good. Kind of gives itself away when you find out that it's called. They do a cutaway later. It's called Club Bloodbath. Yeah. It's like behind behind the DJ with the head, like, yeah, if you don't know, the vampires are real.
00;28;59;09 - 00;29;21;29
That's true. Yeah. I went to a blood rave. Did I expect anything? Did I think you went, oh, we're just going up here. You don't really have a blood. And guess. Guess what she did. Tell me what you did. Casey. You eat when you made fangs? Oh, yeah, I made things, you know. Oh, I do know this, but for some reason, my memory is not remembering the blood.
00;29;22;01 - 00;29;51;21
Was her blood spring? No, it was red lights and big time. It was just the fucking monkeys in a fucking, singing my girl. Yeah, but everyone was dressed down. My perception and understanding of raves is so incorrect. Everyone was wearing. Yeah, black boots and leather, but, man, you shut up. But otherwise, there also was Mr. Feeny Bloods coming out of the sprinklers either.
00;29;51;21 - 00;30;10;07
If I could just jam on guitar as quiet as I can, my girl. Yeah. But, like, not only is this, like, just a bad ass scene, like, everyone's in blood, and it's just kind of cool with the music and everything, but this is also not a monster introduction because he's our hero. But this is also we get a really badass introduction to blade.
00;30;10;07 - 00;30;25;24
Yeah, yeah, right at the beginning. And, just the sliver, a sort of glimpses of Deacon Frost. Yeah. Like he just like walks by and you don't really know who he is, but like, what's this. What's Stephen Dorff doing here? I was a little disappointed, but I can't really say that I was disappointed because I love this movie.
00;30;25;25 - 00;30;44;01
No. All the scene but when I was young I had a huge crush on Tracy Words. And she was only in this movie for about 30s made by, you know, really fucking sad because I forgot and I saw her and oh my God, she she laughs. And then she died. Well, she's even like in the fucking like she has.
00;30;44;01 - 00;30;59;25
Oh, she's credit like. Oh yeah. Because I was like wait all this tattoos. Lord she died. And then a few minutes later they talk about how they regenerated. Oh, she's coming back. So I waited for the whole movie for her to come back to life. You never did that stunt casting. I think it worked. I had a huge crush on her.
00;30;59;25 - 00;31;21;06
And cry. Yeah, I remember, Zack and Mary make a porno, where she can, like, fucking blow bubbles with her vagina. I was like, oh, yeah, I haven't seen that movie in forever. They call her bubbles. That's hilarious. God. After my first gay experience in college, I was. So you were blowing pictures that I did that.
00;31;21;06 - 00;31;36;14
Well, I needed to have, like, a I needed to, like, I was in denial, and I was. Oh, you were. And you had straight man. Yeah. I was like, I need to do something straight. So I went to go see Zach and Mary make a porno by myself. And I was like, oh, thank God. I was like, you look at all the straight sex.
00;31;36;18 - 00;31;56;14
It's just I'm cured. Like, I literally was in school with Zach at the time. I left class halfway through because I was so overwhelmed and I was to go see movie, like I was on the road. But I said you were putting bubbles with your vagina, and then you're like, yeah, I was so anxious about it, actually.
00;31;56;16 - 00;32;16;06
But, well, mostly because I couldn't find my vagina. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to blow bubbles. You're like, if you're straight and you just have sex with a man, you must have a vagina. So exact for you to come out of Zach and where you make a porno, like you're walking out of the theater and you're like, you know, you, like, walk out with the people who you saw the movie with, and you're like, boobs,
00;32;16;08 - 00;32;42;25
Yeah. Everybody that was, Okay, so during our blood rave blade attacks, one of the main vampires named Quinn and sets him on fucking fire, which is cool, but Quinn gets taken to the morgue, and they do like this little thing where it's like, hey, this guy's dead, but let's look at his blood for some reason to see what's in it.
00;32;42;27 - 00;33;04;09
And they're like, wait, this blood's still alive. Why is that dude dead? You're playing tricks on me. That's interesting that they a new blood this game. I don't know, maybe it is part of the autopsy. Don't know. Like, see, like what kind of drug use or something. Where? In his blood. Yeah. I mean, you could do a toxicology report, but that wouldn't require looking at under microscope.
00;33;04;11 - 00;33;28;20
Yeah, but, I mean, what else are you gonna do at three in the morning in a fucking hospital? Yeah. Do you know, by the way, I wanted to say this, but you made the transition so quickly after he left, after killing all the vampires at the club. Bloodbath. Blade was probably really dirty. So he went home and had a a blade bath.
00;33;28;22 - 00;33;36;24
So. Yeah. So he's burnt to a crisp. And why are they doing a blood test?
00;33;36;26 - 00;34;07;19
No. Blade bath is great, I love it. I keep thinking of, like, a bath, like tub full of blades, but, It's like that myself, which would then turn into a bed bath, and it's like an ongoing cycle. But. So. So they're doing, like this. Blood tests on Quinn. And the one doctor Curtis is like, hey, come down to the morgue with me and see this body for yourself because you think the blood's alive, and then Quinn fucking gets up.
00;34;07;21 - 00;34;32;17
And this is our second official monster reveal. When Quinn fucking jumps up, he's all crispy. He bites Curtis. Oh, and then he bites fucking Karen, too. He chases Karen. And this is arguably, in my opinion, the scariest sequence in the movie. This is where you get, like, you're you're the movie gets its horror flowers kind of. Yeah.
00;34;32;19 - 00;34;50;02
Because it is it leans into the action. This scene like honestly, it maybe it's like some holdover, feelings from it and from when I watch it as a kid. So I'm just remembering it as being really scary, but, like, kind of, like, freak me out of it. Yeah. Really enjoyed it. Yeah. And Donal Logue, who plays Quinn, is, like, committed.
00;34;50;02 - 00;35;11;00
He really sells this part. And he's having so much fun in this movie. Yeah, he's a good actor. Like, yeah, he is. I waited on him once in when I served tables in Brooklyn, and he was shooting the show Gotham, and he came in and he was a true gentleman. Really? What's the the original, fried chicken. Oh, really?
00;35;11;01 - 00;35;29;27
No. Sure. I swear, I swear, I actually really didn't think of that, like, as a joke. I'm not exaggerating. I was really good fried chicken. That's so funny. I was he was doing that as, like, a little, like. Like when he ordered it, he, like. I'm sure like, remember that. I'm sure that's. Yeah. That's all he orders is fried chicken.
00;35;29;27 - 00;35;45;27
So, like, hopefully some random fucking server would make the connection, like. And I'm like, quit. And you missed it. It's like, son of a bitch. 20 years later, he's like, oh, I see what he was doing.
00;35;46;00 - 00;36;12;26
Yeah. I'm just like in the grocery store one day, just pushing the car and I just stop and go, and then just keep walking. But no, this is a cool scene. And then blade shows up like, dude, blade, you're always like, a fucking second. Too late. Yeah. Not always. But in this situation. And this is what confused me because he sees Karen on the ground, like dying or being bitten.
00;36;12;26 - 00;36;33;00
Right? And then, like, he has, like, a flash of, like, his mom, but he was a fucking baby, so he would have I think he had seen the movie. He saw the dailies. He's out there. They got to this. Yeah. Which again another another question that I had that gets answered later. Like he has her ID. Oh yeah.
00;36;33;00 - 00;36;54;29
It's like he knows what she looks like. But it's just like the flashback that they show is like for us. Right. And it's like him picture. It's not. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, wow, that's a strong black woman like my mom. Yeah. That's funny. I do love, it's like these little moments that give because blade is a very, very Batman.
00;36;55;01 - 00;37;21;08
You know, when he's he's very quiet, very cool. But you do see this moment of humanity here where it's like, fuck, if someone had. If I had been there, I could have helped my mom. And here I have this opportunity and. Right. Yeah, right. It's what makes him an interesting character. Yeah. And apparently that was some of Wesley Snipes doing is that he wanted to put this extra layer of, like, humanity and emotional art stuff into the crazy.
00;37;21;08 - 00;37;47;16
If they didn't do that. Yeah, right. And then blade like fucking takes Karen and gets beat by the cops and he's yeeted out the fucking window. She dislocates her shoulder right, and blade pops it back in. This is what I'm going to tell you. That blade is a little fucking bitch because he dislocates his shoulder. Later and he's like, oh, don't touch me.
00;37;47;16 - 00;38;09;28
It hurts. Get away from me! I was like, you know what? You just pop talking about being a strong black woman. She was fucking stronger than you. He also gets shot a lot and, kills vampires. Yeah, well. And stuff. So, like. I mean, speaking of those cops, I'm sorry, I know it's, oh, horror, but,
00;38;10;01 - 00;38;34;13
Yeah, they, like, know that he has, Right. They say like a hostage. Yeah. Civilians. Yeah. And they just unload. Oh, yeah. But like, never before. No, but the cops are with, like, it doesn't matter, right? That's true. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but I think the same thing too. I'm like, damn. Wait. Yeah. No, I don't understand, though I can.
00;38;34;13 - 00;39;01;27
Okay. I can wrap my head around vampires. They are corrupt cops. Well, yeah, it's a little strange. It's like, I like this is like a fictional world. Yeah, yeah, I don't get it at. I'm done with this movie. That's where I draw the line. At the chuckle line. They're corrupt cops. Unbelievable. That fictional cops corrupt.
00;39;02;00 - 00;39;25;23
Cops doing deals with vampires, I get it, but they're doing it because they're corrupt. No thank you. No. Okay. Our third official reveal is like the Council of vampires. That kind of like, you know, we come to find out, they're like, they've got their hands in all these things throughout. So, you know, speaking of cops and, they even say, like, real estate and all this stuff.
00;39;25;23 - 00;39;47;17
So they're like, making bank in this fictional city. Oh, no, it's not a fictional city. It's Los Angeles. But we meet the council and we meet Frost for the first time. Who's we? Find out is not a pureblood. He was bitten and turned into a vampire. So he's. But he and guys, you know, then on a golden throne.
00;39;47;19 - 00;40;07;13
I love that they like, call him in just to be like you suck for us I yeah like we draw like that. He's like played by Udo Kier is like bring in frost and they bring him in. And then the thing with Udo Kier in this movie is there was like a moment where he was explaining to Frost, but also the audience that he was born a vampire.
00;40;07;13 - 00;40;25;02
And for a second I like, believed him because if ever there is one person on this planet who was probably born as a straight up legitimate vampire, it would be Udo Kier. Yeah, agreed. And I would accept it. I would like to know it. Yeah, that checks out. Makes sense. So I'm not going to question it. Feels rude.
00;40;25;04 - 00;40;48;18
Corrupt cops don't believe it. Udo Kier is actually a vampire. Legit. Absolutely. But yeah, just wants to, that's the rule. The humans, they want to blend in. He wants to stand out. And they're like, dude, we're pure bloods. You're nothing but a fucking vampire that got turned into a vampire. Yeah, you're a mud blood.
00;40;48;25 - 00;41;13;27
Wait, no. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Harry Potter. Yeah. Her part there are vampires in Harry Potter, but I don't think. See them. Does blade take place in the world? No. Harry Potter. Oh, yeah. What if blade was one of the professors? You know, they always bring in a new defense. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he is your professor. Professor?
00;41;14;00 - 00;41;41;11
Dale. Professor Dale. Professor. Dale. Blade. Dale. Blade. He could be a professor again. So I think his name is Eric. Yes, it is Eric Dale blade. Thank Dale. Blade. More like double blade. Oh, yeah. I mean, come on, sharpen that thing, silly. Silly dude. How does he sit in the car with it? He gets it. He gets into the car with the fucking sword on his back.
00;41;41;13 - 00;42;05;28
Yes. Especially just all the special little holes in the bottom of the seat. But that's like in bends under his butt. Yeah, but that's like classic brooding superhero. It's like Batman would never complain that, like, everything hurts because it's so heavy. Blades like cares, like it's not bothering you. It's like, okay, the recess located shoulder. Yeah. Be a bit.
00;42;06;01 - 00;42;35;22
Which deacon calls him a bitch later. And I was like, yeah, that's right. Yes he is. She is a bitch. Conspiracy theory. The week is blade a bitch? No, no. Okay, so now we're back with blade. We get to his like, I thought it was like his, like, hideout. Everyone's got a layer in this. It's like a temporary layer because we find out that him and Whistler, who we meet, who does not whistle, they move from, like, city to city.
00;42;35;22 - 00;42;55;03
And so this is just like a place they found, I guess. Yeah. They're, nomads. They're nomads. It is their layer. So. Yeah, just it's like the RV of layers. So you can take it over the cross-country layer. It it's. I mean, it's like a cool layer. It's like a factory, you know? Wait, is it, is it a cool air or is it a factory stack?
00;42;55;03 - 00;43;06;02
It can't be stacked. It doesn't sound very fun. Come to our factory, we make garlic shots. Yeah, exactly.
00;43;06;04 - 00;43;27;08
I love it. I just have liquid garlic, just, like, around. He's like, I'm gonna stack too much garlic. He's like, it's going to fucking hurt like an garlic right into our bloodstream. Personally, I have garlic around. They fight vampires. How does that not make sense? Since I'm you. Well, I wish because guys, Whistler was like a stereotypical, like, Italian chef or something.
00;43;27;10 - 00;43;40;11
We always got the garlic. That's. I can't even do. I can do an Italian xxiv. I can't, I do it in this moment. Danny, aren't you Italian? Yeah.
00;43;40;13 - 00;44;12;28
But Kris Kristofferson, as an Italian chef in this movie, L.A. cool J is for us. This is. There's a movie that. Oh, and then baby, the, baby Udo Kier as the head of the vampires. I don't support I, but maybe that's the only way we can make this happen. Dude, I we like creating a new blade spinoff comic book the multiverse has been established in Marvel, so I'm not like, you know, the ground has been set, and we get a little bad moon rising as they're driving into the second shot.
00;44;13;01 - 00;44;34;05
Makes you kind of think that they're going to reveal Whistler as a werewolf, though, because it's like a little American Werewolf reference. But and maybe that's a comic thing, but, I don't know. But I like Whistler. He's a cool character. It's a sad moment when he dies later. Spoiler alert. And what's interesting, I was just looking him up to see if he was, in fact, a werewolf, which he isn't.
00;44;34;09 - 00;44;58;04
But, his name, his first name is Abraham and Abraham. It's very like Abraham. He's like the Van Helsing of the movie. So it's like it's kind of, it has to be intentional, like. Well, I mean, Abraham Lincoln vampire Hunter. So he's not, he's not named after Van Helsing is named after the United States. Yeah.
00;44;58;06 - 00;45;21;08
Okay, here's another thing. You know, since we're talking about Abraham Lincoln, vampire hunter, because why wouldn't we? Yeah, the fucking sunscreen deal needs to go. Yeah, I do not care for this. Like, oh, vampires can walk in the daylight now if they just put on fucking sunblock. Yeah, like. No. Come on, Doctor Moreau. Yes. Lather that shit up.
00;45;21;11 - 00;45;44;04
Yeah, yeah. Otherwise they know. And yeah, that's the thing. If you are going to do it, they should look like, Marlon Brando does in The Island of Doctor Moreau, where he is. They're caked in it like you just. It should be dripping off of them. Oh, Oh, yeah. Yeah. You don't need. You guys don't need blood raves.
00;45;44;04 - 00;46;10;04
You need to fucking go get sunblock raves. Bring. They're just like sunscreen shooting out of the fucking sprinklers. They're like, oh, God. Just looks like, come over all of them. Yeah. It's just it's sunscreen and blood. And it is just the worst of it. Yeah, that's fucking nasty. Thick cream and, bloody loads everywhere. Oh, my God, that makes me fucking sick.
00;46;10;08 - 00;46;29;07
Dude, there's a sea vampire seal in the sun. They get, they feel terrible. There's a scene in the fucking movie dodgeball where they're trying to figure out how to make money, and they sit, and the one guy says we could sell blood and semen and the one guy and I don't know if it's like Vince Vaughn goes like, ill.
00;46;29;09 - 00;46;54;25
And the guy goes, what? Not mixed together. And that makes my fucking stomach churn. Yeah. Is awful. Oh my God, is it looks like like strawberry yogurt. It's just not a good. Yeah, but it's just like, dude, I can't imagine like fucking. Yeah. You come in like fucking blood. You know what that's like? Dude, dude, I had read a fact here that I think they're doing it separately.
00;46;54;25 - 00;47;18;26
They're talking. I know, but it's, But I had read that there's an anomaly, and it's not even an anomaly because apparently it's not as rare as it seems where blood will show up in semen. And. Yeah, there's it's apparently like, not that it's nothing to worry about, but it's not as scary as it seems. And when I found out that this was like a thing that might happen to me, like I masturbated for days on end to see if I had any.
00;47;18;26 - 00;47;40;17
Yeah. Oh, no, I don't want to see it. I'm like, I makes me want to never come again. Yeah. I'm like, come again? No thanks. So this is a PSA for all the men out there, based on a thing that I think I remember reading at some point based on facts I'm not sure are true.
00;47;40;19 - 00;48;01;21
If you have blood in your semen, you might be okay. Vampires can suck dick and still get sustained. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes. I mean, maybe it's more commonly than you would think, but not as often as you would, you know? Well, not one. Yeah. Like, like we talk about, you know, there's probably not there's probably some vampires that aren't evil.
00;48;01;23 - 00;48;25;27
And so instead of drinking blood, they just suck a bunch of juice and. No, no, no, oh oh, yeah. Anymore neither I, well, I they're, they're drinking the blood to extract like certain like proteins, I'm sure to. Which is why so sure there's something within semen that could also kind of break them what they need, which is why it work.
00;48;25;27 - 00;48;49;08
We had the conversation. We decided that breast milk, they would live off of breast milk because they couldn't have blood anymore. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Sucking titties instead of necks. Yeah. The DNA isn't just, it's a survival mechanism for some vampires. It's not just, disclaimer in front of a movie. It's a survival mechanism for babies.
00;48;49;08 - 00;48;55;02
Daddy. Oh, yeah. Literally.
00;48;55;04 - 00;49;22;26
They didn't know that babies needed milk to survive. I thought it was blood. Did blade. That's why he has Whistler with him. Because he's fucking second his dick. And that's where the whistle comes from. He's like, who? Every time he come see, it's. These as.
00;49;22;28 - 00;49;44;11
Good lord, it's a fuck. On to reveal number three. We we say we're a horror comedy podcast. I think we're just, like, offensive and immature. Honestly, most of the time. Yeah, yeah, this is where we get to let it out, guys. You know, like, yeah, we're just humans. Okay, well, our fourth reveal. Let's move on. Let's move on to our fourth reveal.
00;49;44;13 - 00;50;14;07
This is this is like a twofer because we get Pearl, which is this, like, ginormous Jabba the Hutt vampire. They they refer to this thing as, like, a record keeper or an arcade record keeper. And they oversee the the archives. That blood. The blood that played in Karen, infiltrate. Yeah, yeah. So not only do we meet Pearl during this scene, which is like, I was not expecting there to be, like, a creature, I guess.
00;50;14;07 - 00;50;33;11
Yeah. I mean, because it's like, I thought they were always going to be, like, human looking vampires, and, like, this is human, but it's like, would not be survivable, I guess, if you're not a vampire. So anyways, I was not expecting to see Pearl looking like that. And then this is also where blade meets Frost for the first time on the computer screen.
00;50;33;11 - 00;50;54;25
Over zoom. Over zoom. Yeah. What a cool way to fucking meet your arch nemesis. Can you hear me? We're just waiting for everyone to get in. How is everyone's weekend? But apparently blade has known about Deckard for us for a long time. And we find out that Frost has also known about blade for a long time and somehow knows all his, like, secrets.
00;50;54;28 - 00;51;26;02
Whatever. I don't know how that happened, but this is our first. This is our first. It's a great point. We don't really get much context. Yeah, I guess it's implying that Frost is just very aware even when people don't. He he kind of presents himself as being the immature rebel vampire who just wants to shake things up, but he actually is pretty, well-versed in sort of, how to actually take over because we even see, like, a little bit at a little moment with him.
00;51;26;02 - 00;51;46;22
We don't really know what he's doing earlier. But after he talks to Udo Kier, his dragon lady, we see him on the computer and we're like, oh, what is he? Just like surfing the net and being silly. And no, he's actually like researching glyphs. So it's it's setting up his world Domination tour. Yeah. You're dragging that. He's like, no one can translate those texts like it's a dead language.
00;51;46;24 - 00;52;10;05
And Frost just fucking ignores them. But like, when they fry Pearl with the fucking UV light, that was kind of bad for Pearl a little bit. So painful. Yeah. Just like really light way blade like, gives Karen a look. And I know she moves a savage. Yeah, but we do find out too. We kind of learn about the.
00;52;10;10 - 00;52;36;05
We were talking about the glyphs. We learn about, like there's a prophecy and there's a ritual, and Frost wants to resurrect the blood God. Lemon, that's a margarita. Lemon balm OG yeah, I love that its name is Pearl too. Just because, you know, pretty shiny round round. Oh yeah. There's one thing. Yeah. Oh. Did anybody else notice the fucking.
00;52;36;07 - 00;52;59;22
I know Danny noticed the speed ramping of that. Like when he wound. Blade was like, tailing the police officer, and they were, like, driving through the city, and there was, like, a low speed speed. I did notice, actually, also the, the, background in the car, the the green screen. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even notice that. Oh, but I think I thought it was like you didn't intentional because of course.
00;52;59;23 - 00;53;19;20
Yeah, I mean stuff. Well, just like just like stylistic like I don't think to me when I watched it, I was like, oh, that's kind of cool because they weren't like trying to make it look 100% real. It was almost like, yeah, this is a visual gag kind of thing. I thought that was kind of neat, but but yeah, that was in that same scene with the speed ramping.
00;53;19;23 - 00;53;41;11
You know, Wesley Snipes is he plays this role so well. But it really made me want to watch Fucking Demolition Man. So same. That's my favorite Simon Phoenix is one of my favorite characters. Played had the bleached hair. Oh my god. Yeah I haven't watched that. I mean, LL cool J with the bleached hair green. You know what I mean?
00;53;41;14 - 00;54;05;06
H damn h okay, well, let's go to our fifth reveal. They have fried pearl, blade has met Frost and now they are entering the room with all the ancient texts. Like, it's like their vampire Bible. And like, all these, these ancient scrolls have been, like, preserved. But it's not like. It's like an ambush. Right? Because so impractical.
00;54;05;09 - 00;54;28;15
They see like the little fucking, the little girl vampire that blades like wants to help, but then she, like, kicks the shit out of them. He ends up like, yeah, it's probably 100 years old, right? Oh, yeah. Because she ages slower. Oh, she was setting up the prequel movie. We were talking about, vampire Empire babies, but, yeah, she, like, kicks the shit out of blade.
00;54;28;15 - 00;54;51;05
And he's like, well, he was, like, not expecting that shit. But then Quinn comes with, like, a bunch of thugs, and they like, fucking kid Rock and his groupies. Yeah. It's fucking kid Rock and like that, which is, I can't believe they didn't play that song during this fight. Oh. Yeah. Bang bang. Dude, what a stupid song.
00;54;51;07 - 00;55;10;15
What a speaking of fucking like songs in movies, there's a scene, like at the end when he, like, is taken out a bunch of vampires and he, like, catches his sunglasses and the fucking music starts and he puts his glasses on and they fucking like, I love shit like that too. And it doesn't happen much anymore. Like it happened.
00;55;10;15 - 00;55;30;15
It was Ray's moment. Yeah. Yes. And it's like, oh, shit, here we go. Like, shit's going down because the music started, you know? And it's just fucking cool. But. But in this one, this is our fifth reveal, because this is where Whistler, meets Quinn and a bunch of vampires because he busts through the door with his car.
00;55;30;16 - 00;55;50;17
I guess. I'm not sure how he exploded to the fucking wall, but he whistled. Oh, yeah. I was like. And it just explodes. He's like the fucking big bad wolf. He whistles and. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, that's why they played the Bad Moon Rising song. So he is a werewolf, so he howls. So really it'd be a howler.
00;55;50;17 - 00;56;16;09
Oh wait, didn't we establish that someone needs to be sucking him off for him to whistle like that? Yeah. So I just didn't see, they have another, there's another, they have, like, a fluffer. Yes, exactly. It's like Whistler and fluffer. Yeah, it's fucking Ryan Reynolds. That's. That's blade Trinity. Right. Who's in bleach? Yeah. It also said it.
00;56;16;09 - 00;56;37;13
Yeah. Okay. I was like, just because I thought. Ryan. What else would be second? Christopher. Kris Kristofferson is Dick. Conspiracy theory of the week is right. Whitley's a fluffer. Classic country fans are hating us right now. Yeah, you think we do. You think we get a lot of classic country fans listening to this show? Why do they hate us?
00;56;37;16 - 00;57;02;07
Kris Kristofferson is a country was a country singer. Oh, he like that was like his. That's what made him famous was he's a country singer with, like, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash and Kris Kristofferson. And then he became an actor. But, but, you know, we're talking about fucking vampires second, sucking them off. So I figured classic country fans wouldn't be too happy.
00;57;02;08 - 00;57;27;12
But, hey, nothing wrong with, sexual, alien experimentation. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, I'm all for it. But, you know the stereotype, was it? Yeah, yeah. The stereotype of Kris Kristofferson getting sucked off so that he can drive or whistle his way through a wall and explode it to kill vampires. Are you done with the stereotypes on this show?
00;57;27;12 - 00;57;54;26
I'm over it. We're better than that. Yeah. But there. There comes, like, a cool subway scene, right? Not subway sandwiches. Subway like speed. Oh, I do love the subway scene, though. Just in general. Like just hanging out at a subway. Means. And. Oh, like the scene. Like this? Yeah. You remember the subway scene? The delicious meat. Oh, I love a nice foot.
00;57;54;26 - 00;58;18;21
Longer. Yeah. They also. It's like brownies. They're footlong brownies. Now, what the fuck? Remember when subway used to be, like, quote unquote healthy? Yeah, well, now they have, like, can't believe they were like, no, they've got, like, Cinnabon and fucking, do you know, you know, who endorsed the healthy thing? Oh, yeah. That's true. Oh. So I wouldn't really believe anything he said.
00;58;18;28 - 00;58;37;27
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah. They don't want to be associated with healthy anymore. The subway's I think sucks. People think about it. Yeah, yeah. Just give it 180. Like, let's be on healthy. Yeah. Like we want to make this guy fat as fuck again.
00;58;37;29 - 00;59;01;16
God. All right, well, speaking of Whistler, let's jump to our sixth reveal. This is where Whistler meets Frost and Frost and Quinn and everybody kind of buck them up, right? And it's what's interesting about this and kind of like, makes it land with more of a punch, I think is the fact that it's following up the scene where Frost kills Dragon Eddie.
00;59;01;18 - 00;59;24;14
So Frost is kind of like wiping out the kind of older, like representatives of, like an older generation. Sure. So you have, like, Whistler on the side of Good Dragon, Eddie on the side of Bad. And then Frost is sort of like, as I say, planting his seed. But I'm trying to get away from these references. You know what I mean?
00;59;24;14 - 00;59;46;09
He's cleaning house cleaning. Oh, speaking of planting seeds, I have a question about the. There's a scene later. Like, they keep showing, like these flowers, right? These red flowers. And then, like, at the end when blade is about to like, go off and kill a bunch of people, he takes the flowers and he cuts off the roots. Yeah, I never I didn't understand that.
00;59;46;11 - 01;00;14;09
What that what that was all about, I'm googling blade red flowers because it's after Whistler dies and he's making plots and shit. Okay? They're a hybrid with the roots of Drake, Kenya and flowers from Lucas. Them, the plant is a visual representation of God's mixed heritage as a human vampire hybrid. Okay, okay. Yeah. It says, it's an ersatz hybrid plant.
01;00;14;09 - 01;00;35;17
A juxtaposition of two species from disparate lineages, leaves and roots of a tree. Yeah. And then what? Okay, so then he cuts off the roots and he's like, fuck this. Well, Frost was cutting off the roots of vampire lore. Maybe blade is just meeting him, cutting the roots off, literally. Blade just doesn't want to be a vampire. Yeah.
01;00;35;19 - 01;01;03;00
Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. But we're going to find out that pretty soon he just goes all in because he's like, I'll be a vampire. Fuck it. But yeah, he has no choice in a little bit. Oh, we do find out, in this in this scene, which we call Frost kind of explains, he builds on the whole idea of summoning Le maga, and he says that he's trying to trigger a vampire apocalypse.
01;01;03;02 - 01;01;26;16
But he needs Blade's blood. So now we see why he wants this truce. Why he wants to work with blade. It's because he wants to drain him. So blade can't be the only one that's like this, right? I wouldn't say no. He probably isn't. But they're probably not putting themselves out there like he's. Well, true.
01;01;26;16 - 01;01;47;20
Correct me if I'm wrong. Yeah. Did blade become. Did he get his abilities because of the fact that he just so happened to be his mom, was in labor with him while she was bit, and it was just like a perfect storm of. Oh yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So that would make sense. That maybe he is more rare than I'm thinking because everything.
01;01;47;25 - 01;02;06;26
Yeah. At the right moment. Yeah. Yeah. I mean even if they were beaten when she was just pregnant and she ended up surviving and turning into a vampire, it may have been something. Yeah. So if that was the case, and Frost knows, seems to know so much about blade, you would think he would have put it together like, oh, that's probably why blade has these abilities.
01;02;06;26 - 01;02;31;10
Why don't they just find a pregnant woman? Why don't you just do it just. And farm these, like, super blooded, they walkers. Yeah, but you know what I just realized? Would you just realize, like blades mom is with Deacon Frost? Yeah, yeah. You just. And so that's how he knows all this stuff about blade? Oh, yeah, because it's his fucking mom.
01;02;31;12 - 01;02;53;16
It was like you just, put that together. You meant it. But he's like, I know everything about you. And it's like, oh, yeah, because that's his mom. Like, she probably kept tabs on him, you know what I mean? And then, that's a good call. I didn't even put that together. Yeah, it just it just it just dawned on me, as they say in the vampire world, dangerous for vampires, though.
01;02;53;19 - 01;03;24;05
Yeah, it is. So. Vampires are so fucking dumb idiots. But awesome. Sunscreen? Yes, please. Yeah. Okay. In our seventh reveal, Karen meets Curtis again, but this time he is a fucking like, gross old vampire zombie thing. And like this pit, right? Oh, speaking of which, right before they introduce him, there's they're having this really random conversation about a surfer.
01;03;24;08 - 01;03;49;27
Yeah. And they specifically say Quint talks about a surfer who was more zombie than vampire, which then made me wonder if they were referencing the movie Surf Ninjas to in which there are zombie, surfers. Oh, dang, that's all I have to say about that. Okay, yeah, I thought they were talking about Curtis because then they, I don't know, like, I don't know if he's a surfer, but whatever.
01;03;49;27 - 01;04;02;18
But they put him in the he does la la. And then he's kind of like a zombie esque vampire. Oh he does. Oh he does come riding in on the surfboard. Okay. Never mind. I.
01;04;02;20 - 01;04;18;06
Like that in the pit. He's got, like, a board. Like up against the wall. He's like, maybe, maybe Marvel was trying to. Maybe there's something with, like, the Silver Surfer. Maybe they tried to turn the Silver Surfer into a vampire, but because he was a Silver Surfer, he was just more zombie than. Yeah, that's what they were.
01;04;18;09 - 01;04;45;26
That's like a little Easter egg. They were talking about the Silver Surfer. Yeah, yeah. Like, how can we get a reference to a Silver Surfer? Like, what if we have this, this long, confusing conversation that happens offscreen? Like, they cut it, but then like, sprinkle a little bit of that in there, just like, oh, he's silver. So he would like, dude, is it time for the how I Met Your Monster conspiracy theory of the week?
01;04;45;29 - 01;05;20;23
Is it? Telling me that NASA is going through the United States know, like, that kind of thing. A Secret Service agent like that from self on top of the whole Vietnam War was fought over. And then Howard Hughes lost Aristotle on. The security issue this year. Conspiracy theory. The Silver Surfer is another like bullet like blade. Maybe. Maybe Silver Surfer is who Whistler works with to extract the silver to defeat the vampires.
01;05;20;26 - 01;05;45;18
Oh. Yeah. Dude, they have Silver Surfer tied up in the factory. I mean, the secret lair. And they are like, you know, vampires can harvest the people in the blood bags. They're harvesting the Silver Surfer to get silver. Oh, yes. To get, to make their website. Makes you wonder. Good and evil. That's what went into the fucking.
01;05;45;25 - 01;06;13;16
They go into the lair or the factory or whatever the fuck you want to call it. And Bad Moon Rising is playing and fucking Whistler is like grinding something, right? And then he stops and the music stops, and then he turns the music back on later and goes back to grinding the silver Surfer is really there, like screaming for it was just like cutting out the sounds of his screams with Creedence Clearwater.
01;06;13;18 - 01;06;40;18
And he's like, grinding away silver. Oh my God. Hey! Nailed it. Another successful conspiracy theory. Silver surfer is not in the new blade movie. What are we doing here, folks? Right. What are we having here? Well, could you catch all that? You're on board with all. What are you. What are your thoughts? I think that, Jimi is Willard.
01;06;40;20 - 01;06;44;12
Steps.
01;06;44;14 - 01;07;07;22
Bass. He's going to be holding onto her single conspiracy theory of the week. That's right. And I don't blame it was a good one. It was good. Yeah. Check it out. And true in our last episode of the 13th The Final Chapter. Yeah. If you're missing summer, go celebrate with our girl. Summer chill feature. That's right. Okay, now that that's settled and we've got that in the books, it is time for our eight.
01;07;07;25 - 01;07;32;00
And, arguably biggest reveal. Yeah, this is the blood. God, this is like the whole sacrifice or not sacrifice. Like, ritual is the word I'm looking for. It's like the whole ritual scene. And what was pretty cool was when the blood. So they've captured blade. They've drained his blood. It's all going through like these glyphs and, like, pipes and tubes.
01;07;32;00 - 01;08;02;01
And then it drips on all the other vampires heads from the council. And like the skull, the winged skeleton, things like climb out of their mouths. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Which was pretty fucking cool. So is that what they are after? They're bitten by a vampire? Or is this something specific to the ritual? Like, is the ritual summoning this thing out of these pure vampires, or is that like a manifestation of, like, blood God?
01;08;02;03 - 01;08;31;07
Minions or something? Danny, you're going to have to refer to the vampire texts, the ancient vampire texts for that. It says it just says yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So we're good. Okay. I love they have this big, like, ancient room with all those texts, and it's all stone and all that stuff. And then they have these little plastic tubes where all the the blood.
01;08;31;09 - 01;09;11;03
Yeah, we put all of our bullshit onto the stonework, plastic tubing. The masons in this in LA are really expensive, but the plastic masons are very cheap. This is when straws were more common. Yeah, well, that's when Los Angeles said plastic straws. Yeah, yeah, this is what I. So there apparently was a cut of this movie that was like disastrous in testing and test screenings and one thing that they did not have at the end was the sword fight between France and Blake.
01;09;11;04 - 01;09;47;19
It was a reshoot when they whip their dicks out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Start fighting each other. Oh. Well, but France was not originally supposed to keep his human form, which, I guess you can find this on the DVD. So maybe it's out there on YouTube or something, but he was originally just like this, like blob of blood that, like, floated around, and apparently they couldn't get the effects look right, so they scrapped it and kept him as funny as he kind of turns into a big blob of blood when he's dying, when he gets injected with some, spoiler there.
01;09;47;21 - 01;10;10;00
Dude, that was. Those are cool effects. Like when he stabs people with that serum stuff and they, like, just, like, get really big and they explode. It was. That was fun. But the, the, the sword fight is cool, you know? So good. We need more, sword fights in movies. It's kind of crazy. We don't have any gore.
01;10;10;03 - 01;10;35;22
I agree, they were big at one time. And then, you know, you don't see them anymore. Power went out for, for some blood, out for the sword fights for the long, long lost art of movie sword fights. All right. And then to wrap things up, after blade explodes, the blood God. So he sucks the blood out of Karen, right?
01;10;35;22 - 01;10;51;15
She's like, bite me. And she's like, don't stop. And she keeps like, oh, so horny. I thought he was gonna. I thought they were gonna like. She was like, don't stop, don't stop. I thought he was going to go. And then she was going to be dead because, like, he trained her. But then she's just like a lot at the end, right?
01;10;51;17 - 01;11;17;04
Yeah. Yeah. Did he like she. Yeah. Don't know because she was about to turn into one and she probably maybe he sucked out the vampire blood from her. And she could feel it leaving her body and she's like, don't stepped on that. Yeah. You almost got it. I'm almost whoosh I'm having one. I'm talking about orgasm. Dan is talking about giving birth.
01;11;17;06 - 01;11;49;05
All right. So our ninth and final reveal blade has now traveled the world. We've established earlier that he goes from city to city hunting vampires. And so now he's in Russia. And blade is not limited to U.S jurisdiction. He's he is traveling the globe. He has gone international. Yeah. And he meets a Russian vampire and kind of sets up for a sequel which we get two more, we get blade two directed by Guillermo del Toro and Blade Trinity.
01;11;49;07 - 01;12;15;14
Not sure who directed that, but I'll give you a spoiler. Dracula's in a movie, and they call him Drake. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm just saying they quote unquote defang the lore of Dracula by calling him Drake. But not saying that other people haven't said that. Okay, I have to check out those sequels because I think I've seen them all once, but I don't remember.
01;12;15;17 - 01;12;40;03
I don't remember them. So the the honestly, the one thing that I really got from the, blade blade Trinity that I genuinely like was like, oh, smart idea. Why did I never think of this? Is that Jessica Biel's character when she she puts in her headphones every time she kills vampires to, like, listen to music, okay? But she puts them on so that this is back when most headphones had, cords.
01;12;40;06 - 01;13;01;25
And she puts them on behind so that the cords are in her way. So then I started doing that when I was like, lay out in the sun. So I didn't get a little sun, little lines in my skin. So thanks. Thanks, Jessica Biel. So great movie. Yeah, really worth watching it. But I did just give away the best and most important significant lesson from it.
01;13;02;02 - 01;13;31;27
Yeah. Damn. All right, well, now I've learned my lesson. I don't need to watch it, so. Yeah. All right, well, you guys, that's fucking that's blade. That's fucking blade. That's fucking blade. That's Whistler's job. Oh my God. Which was my job. That's blade. That is our first movie in our Killer Comics triple feature. But now it's time to talk about our favorite reveals in Steven Norrington.
01;13;32;03 - 01;13;38;11
Blade.
01;13;38;13 - 01;13;54;18
Going on here. I don't believe anyone. That's how they do their on this goddamn foreign.
01;13;54;20 - 01;14;20;12
Okay, so we've got nine official reveals. I'm going to do a speedrun recap of our official reveals. Good luck. And, with them, I do have some alternative names for the scene. So when you pick your favorite reveal, you have to say the name. That's the rule. It's the new rule. Number one is the blood rave. The bloodbath rave, aka it's raining blood.
01;14;20;17 - 01;14;32;23
Hallelujah. It's raining blood. Number two. This is where the doctors in the morgue meet. Quinn, this is.
01;14;32;26 - 01;14;56;22
Also known as. Will you be using the McDonald's mobile app today? No. Not today. I just like one vampire meat. Crispy. Please. It's like, oh my God. Also known as Krispy Kreme, also known as Crispy Quinn. Medical vampire.
01;14;56;24 - 01;15;20;23
Oh, God. Number three is the council. Aka 12 angry vamps. Oh, that's cure number four is, Pearl. This is also known as. Where are you keeping those records? Pearl? In your belly. Oh, yeah.
01;15;20;26 - 01;15;39;18
Number five, this is the room with the. This is the, like the library room with all the Bible pages, right? And with Slayer comes in and he blows up everything, and, also known as. No, it's something in the library that.
01;15;39;20 - 01;16;02;22
Number six, Whistler meets Frost, aka deacon wets his whistle with blood. Number eight, the blood God, aka Raiders of the Lost Ark. I don't have a funny bit for that, but it's like Raiders of the Lost Ark when they open the Ark of the covenant and everyone flies out. So fun. Not funny, but accurate. But hey, it's a reference to Indiana Jones.
01;16;02;22 - 01;16;33;08
And we did an episode on Indiana Jones last year. Yep. And Black Doom. Check it out. It's really good. And, our final reveal. Number nine, blade meets the Russian vampire, aka aka aka. Steve. Aka Putin on the prophylaxis. Like, doesn't even make sense. They just want to know as closely rhymed with Ritz as we could.
01;16;33;08 - 01;17;02;15
We should have just said, it's Steve Putin. Jeff. No. And the prophylaxis is I am very disappointed that none of these had to do with like periods because of all the blood. But whatever. Well, we can make the we can change that case. No, let's make them all about periods. Number one is the blood Rave, aka this sprinkler system is reigning period blood on me.
01;17;02;17 - 01;17;30;06
AKA AKA the rave is my nursing period. Period. But you know what? I'm an artist. No. Okay. It's a girl's first period is a rush. I'm a nurse. Yeah. So Celica Street is like street slang. No, no, no, that's the real term. Oh, really? Yes, but it sounds like not. It sounds. Sounds like someone. It sounds like you just made that word up.
01;17;30;11 - 01;17;57;09
My nurse is the term for a girl's menstrual period, marking the start of her menstrual cycle. And beginning of her reproductive capabilities. Minaj. Google it. No, I believe you, but it sounds like someone's like picking on someone doesn't know Minaj. It's like Hallelujah, it's raining blood aka this rave is having this rave is having the nurse period.
01;17;57;11 - 01;18;25;03
And he really wants to say period. This is what I guess get in there. It's not sticks and it's not sticking. So what? I almost just moved on without picking our favorite reveals. My favorite reveal is pretty, iconic and probably obvious. It is, Blood Ravens, aka it's raining blood. Hallelujah. It's raining blood, AKA this rave is having its montage.
01;18;25;05 - 01;18;51;14
Nice. Okay. Period. Okay. Yeah, that's a cool fucking scene. Like it's just get you going. Yes, it is great. It's the very beginning of the movie. Another scary moment. Like really scary man I'm actually in there. Yeah. Like you're just surrounded by monsters in your goodness. So down like they do such a good job of just having fun.
01;18;51;14 - 01;19;11;26
I'm just taking drugs just dancing Tracy. Then blade shows up and he scores. Shit. You know, so they make him like such a spectacle too, when he shows up. Well, right. And like, because everyone's covered in blood except him and he's like, got this cool blue lighting on them, and it's just like he's. Yeah, yeah, dude. It's. Yeah, that's tough to beat.
01;19;11;28 - 01;19;29;14
Danny, what do you got? Can you do me a favor? There's one I'm doing that is like seven chapters long, which is a book just to get. Oh, can I take your order? Will you be using the mobile app today? No, I would just take a nice chicken crispy, please. Will you be using the McDonald's mobile app today?
01;19;29;14 - 01;19;52;03
Not today. I'd just like one vampire meat crispy, please. Not today. Just say it like. Apropos of like, nothing. It's just like. Does it need to exist for the bit to work yet you add like dialog because that's what I say when I go to McDonald's.
01;19;52;05 - 01;20;21;04
Will you be using the McDonald's app today? I say not today. Not today, not ever. Actually. Okay, stop asking me, please. I'm never going to say yes. Okay, daddy, repeat after me. Will you be using the McDonald's app today? Nope. Will you be? Nope nope nope no. You after me. Will you be using the McDonald's where do I start today?
01;20;21;06 - 01;20;42;24
Okay. Will you be using the McDonald's mobile app today? Will you be using the McDonald's mobile app today? Not today. I'd just like one vampire meat crispy, please. Not today. I just like one vampire. Make crispy today. Please.
01;20;45;24 - 01;20;50;10
Oh.
01;20;50;13 - 01;21;24;02
No. You said today instead of please is me. My character felt it was necessary to establish that it was, in fact, today, even when the other person stated it was dead in, aka it's not the only one. Okay. This crispy Quinn crispy Quinn medical pyre. This is over makeover. Oh, yeah. AKA crispy Quinn, the medical vampire.
01;21;24;05 - 01;21;47;24
Yeah. No, I love the opening, but I want to give Donal Oake his flowers for his performance of this movie because I think it's really good. I think he does a great job. And he's actually really scary here. Despite being sort of played as the comedic, that comedic relief of the movie. But there is this, like, he's like, the ding dong.
01;21;47;27 - 01;22;05;21
Yes. Right. He's he's the fucking dumb sidekick. Yeah, well, I always expect the whole movie. I expected Frost to fucking kill him. Yes. Yeah. Because he was like, you know, he's like, oh, yeah, you're my buddy in this. We're going to take over. And I would like Frost would be like, haha, yeah. And then all of a sudden he just fucking.
01;22;05;24 - 01;22;26;03
Yeah, I was waiting for that to you're out of here. Which says a lot about Frost, that he needs this type of fledgling around him to be sort of, beneath him. But he also kind of could use him. Yeah. How does Quinn end up dying? I forget it's the glasses scene that you referenced. He has like this big moment.
01;22;26;03 - 01;22;47;13
He like runs that blade in. Oh yeah. He just lights him immediately. Glasses. Yeah. Yeah. It's like not even a big moment. It just. No, that's what makes it so funny is that he's like. It like, sets off for the rest. Because for right, he's just like, fuck it, I'm done with you. Yeah. I would have loved to have seen Quinn have that crispy skin.
01;22;47;13 - 01;23;08;28
Look, the whole movie. I just loved it with his white eyes. Like there's that scene when he. He jumps out the window and lands in the ambulance and then really quickly, like, gets up like a like a feral animal and jumps out the door. Yeah. Just like really effective, amazing effects. Really fun, Fun performance. Yeah. Can't beat it.
01;23;08;28 - 01;23;36;21
Need to need to honor it in here. I am honoring it. Totally revealing the movie. Well, I, agree. It's awesome. It does need to be honored. Good job. Quinn, I have to go with the blood rave, aka it's raining blood. Hallelujah. It's raining blood, AKA this rave is having its Minaj period. Period? Yes. That's right. Oh, here it, just it's just like.
01;23;36;28 - 01;23;56;13
It's just fucking. What a great way to open a movie. It's, you know, it's very 90s. It's like we had said, this came out a year before the Matrix. It's got that matrix feel to it. It's it's that, claustrophobic feel, you know, because you're like, locked in this place, though, surrounded by these vampires. And then you get, like, an cool thing about blade.
01;23;56;13 - 01;24;15;16
And the action is really good, and it's just. Yeah, that's. I'm going with. And you don't have to fight me on it. That's not like I was thinking, whoa, whoa, whoa, just fucking chill. Now it's time for a segment that we like to call the real monster.
01;24;15;18 - 01;24;49;22
Run, run, run as fast as you can. Catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. You're a monster. I'm not a monster. Here you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale crash poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others? Eat me. You're. Casey, what do you got? Honestly, I couldn't, I didn't, you know, when I have them, most of the time, these things just like pop out to me because, there are obvious things, we're dealing with that did not happen.
01;24;49;25 - 01;25;14;02
Right? So it's just that Tracy Lawrence wasn't in the movie long enough, I'm sure. Yeah. Good one. I just have one. It's, blade. A little corny calls vampires, suck heads. Yeah, but he prays he does it. He kind of, delivers the line. Kind of like this is going to stick. I feel like this is going to be like, I'm going to say this, and people are going to start calling this.
01;25;14;02 - 01;25;39;21
Yeah, it's like fetch. Yeah. Don't quit trying to make you suck. Yeah. That's it though, honestly, you could like, I could target like that specific, like 90s fashion and all that. But I do like it all kind of oddly works for this movie. Like this movie came out. It's just the right time where the rave scene really was just kind of happening.
01;25;39;24 - 01;25;55;04
So I feel like this movie represented that period really well. So I really have nothing bad to say about it. Like, we could we'll joke about like, Stephen Dwarf's hair in this movie, but it just kind of works. I don't know everything, just it does very nicely. Like there's really not a lot that you can pick apart from this movie.
01;25;55;07 - 01;26;15;12
Yeah, yeah. No, I had, it was like three quarters of the way done with the movie, and I was like, shit. Like, there's nothing in here that I'm like, this is a real monster. But don't you worry. I found some things. Oh, shit. Stephen Dwarf's tongue. Why is it so big? Oh, it is big. But what's wrong with that?
01;26;15;15 - 01;26;32;19
I noticed it, yeah, I love it big time. I didn't say I didn't say anything wrong with it. I said it's a fucking monster. But if it's your role. Yeah. Real, you know. Monster. Okay, okay. I didn't notice that. But yeah, I wasn't like immediately like, oh, he like, sticks his tongue out twice. And I was like, Holy shit.
01;26;32;22 - 01;26;57;17
So if I could, I actually so screwed. Yeah. You were like, oh, okay. I also have the weird sexual thing going on with Blade's mom and blade and blade. Yeah, yeah, that was strange. Yeah. Because, like, you know, like, they were, like, at the same age because she had turned into a vampire. So it's kind of like this thing, but it was like, just fucking doesn't work.
01;26;57;17 - 01;27;18;27
And she was like, great way to show how she really isn't her and how you are. You do become this other true thing when you become a vampire. Yeah. So like to show that without just explaining it because it is so uncomfortable. Yeah. But like, oh, but if it's really not her, I get it. True. Because you're waiting for them.
01;27;18;27 - 01;27;42;19
Because I feel like there's a lot of those like movies where like, oh, like, I know to have their moment know, like the human moment is still there to reach you and it's like, yeah, another. Yeah, yeah. That makes, still though totally fits in the real monster category because it is so nasty. Yeah, yeah, it's icky. And but the way you, you know, when you explain it like that, it's like, okay, that makes sense, but still.
01;27;42;21 - 01;28;08;09
Yeah. And then my number one real fucking monster is that little Asian girl that Frost kind of like, kidnaps, right? What did she ever do to you? She fucks up the fucking hot dog cart. When she gets thrown, he throws her into the street before she hits the street. How are we supposed to have hot dog talk with the boys if the damn hot dog her ain't standing no more?
01;28;08;14 - 01;28;37;10
She flies through and demolishes a fucking hot dog cart. I want to fucking demolish that dog cart. You know what I mean? So for that, she's my real monster. Okay, that's a good pick. That's the truest of your real monsters. Yeah. This is. Which is a testament to this movie. Yeah, totally. All right, well, now for our last segment of the show, would you survive Deacon Frost and his legion of seconds?
01;28;37;12 - 01;29;01;02
And here we go. Yeah, because we've talked about this before. I would want to be turned. So that's true. You'd be like, oh yeah. Oh you'd want to be turned and you wanted to get a glyph tattoo. You're like a familiar who wants the tattoo and you want to be turned in. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, there was something familiar about, but like, we, as we find out, the one familiar.
01;29;01;02 - 01;29;33;29
Who? Us familiar fucking kills him. That was me. That's because he's an idiot. Yeah. It's true. You're smart. I'm very smart. Thank you. You're welcome. Also, you'd be a really good familiar because I feel like you'd be good at helping the vampires, like, disguise themselves because you work with teeth, so they would be, like something or. Oh, you would have, like, a cool subplot where you make your own vampire teeth and go like, you'd be like the guy from Trick or Treat who puts in teeth and pretends he's a vampire, but actually uses them as a vampire would and kills people.
01;29;34;01 - 01;29;51;12
And then you would earn your, you know, it'd be like, look at all my victims. I brought you so much blood and I did with fucking teeth. Yeah. Maybe like thank you. Turn this fucking girl to a vampire. We need hurry up in here. Okay. Day I thinking like against you. That's the thing. Is your day job.
01;29;51;12 - 01;30;05;15
You'd have to figure out how to get there during the day. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, my boss is cool. If I needed to work at night, he would let me. It, I suppose if I told him, like, all of a sudden I was lured to the sun and I couldn't come in until it was dark. He'd me.
01;30;05;17 - 01;30;24;29
We've all got here like, I don't hear it. Just come in. Yeah, I'd keep my job as a dental psych, and he would love it because I'd be able to work for hundreds of years. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He'd keep the business going, like. Yeah, after he's gone smart. Yeah, I think I would be dead. I don't just go with vampires.
01;30;25;01 - 01;30;47;08
Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, I don't know where you'd be put in the position. Yeah, because I wouldn't go to the point of blood rave. Right. But, you know, blade says they're everywhere, and so that's true. It's true. You know, I don't know. Yeah, I said no to. I said, these vampires hunt in packs, and they would distract me with their loud house music.
01;30;47;10 - 01;31;10;05
I wouldn't know what to do. All right, you guys, that's it. That's fucking blade in a nutshell. That's blade in a blood bag right there. Blade and blood. Yeah. That is our first movie in our Killer Comics triple feature. Danny, go ahead and tell us what our next movie is. I am very excited about our next movie.
01;31;10;07 - 01;31;35;12
We will be continuing our Killer Comics triple feature with the 1990 film Ernest Dickerson movie. Tales from the crypt, demon night with, special guest Michael Verratti. Very cool, very cool. And Ernest Dickerson, we know he had mentioned was the original Bringer of Blades to New Line Cinema. So that was fucking cool. And, Michael variety, that's going to be an awesome guest.
01;31;35;12 - 01;32;01;28
I'm excited for that. Really excited. Yeah. Of Fangoria fame and the Midnight Mass podcast. Yeah. That's going to be cool and fucking an awesome movie to have them on fucking demon night dude. Oh yeah. And speaking of awesome movies, Michael Ferrari just released, his own movie. There's a zombie outside, which you can watch. Yeah, you can watch on Tubi right now.
01;32;02;00 - 01;32;21;22
Yeah, definitely check that out. And, make sure to check out Demon Knights here prepared for that episode as well. Now, if you are not following how I Met Your Monster on social media, find us on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. We're all over the place. Carl, how I Met Your Monster. Where can our listeners find you too? On social media?
01;32;21;25 - 01;32;46;21
I am on Instagram at Wolf's mother, Casey. Awesome. Danny. You can find me on Instagram and Blue Sky just at my name. It's Danny, Salem De and NY Salemi. It's two M's like the candy melt in your butt, not in your hands. Period. Period. And I cannot wait for you to say that. Sign off again when we have Michael Variety on the show, so I won't do it.
01;32;46;21 - 01;33;40;04
I never do it when we have a guest. Just kidding. I always do it. I'm embarrassed. And you can find me on social media at Zach Quintic. Thank you for joining us for blade. Now go meet some monsters.